Estrela da Noite
by No available name
Summary: Luke is a werewolf. Raphael is a vampire. They should hate each other. They don't. It should be more difficult. It isn't.
1. Chapter 1

Yes, this is exactly what it looks like. Luke/Raphael slash. I cannot believe nobody has done this before ... but then again, you probably can't believe I'm writing tones of chapters based on the two conversations they've had ...

But I am, and I really hope you like because I've been writing this for at least half a year, and I'm not finished yet. I already have more than 10 chapters, but I won't post them right away. I'm hoping that some feedback will finally make me end this story.

Anyway, the characters may seem a bit OOC, since it's not like we have that much information on them. Raphael is also twenty-four and not fourteen, because if not it would be pedophilia, even if he's one hundred years old. Another thing I've changed, because it makes no sense if he's been transformed for a couple of years and is already second in command. So yes, just pretend you don't know anything about his history.

There will also appear a lot of OCs, and Raphael's history will take an interesting turn ... I hope.

There are probably more things that I should say, but for now, enjoy this first chapter :)

Also, rated M for a reason, and this is like the second time that I try writing lemons, so be nice.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Mortal Instruments. Obviously, I mean did anybody had a doubt for even a second ?

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**PART 1**

**It's the Edge of the World**

**Chapter 1**

Getting Raphael's number had been easy and hadn't awakened suspicious. And why would it? As the pack's alpha Luke needed to be in contact with the vampire's chief of New York's clan.

Technically Raphael was only second in command but from what Luke had heard, and he had been looking for those rumors, the clan didn't have any problems with Raphael being in command. Luke had thought this weird because from what he had gathered Raphael couldn't be more than a hundred years, not to mention he had only appeared in New York for some years, maybe ten or twenty.

If he was honest to himself, Luke didn't know exactly why he was calling the vampire. He had just come from the Institute and was supposed to be going home to eat with Simon and Clary. But for some reason he had dialed the vampire's number and was waiting to see if he would push the green button or not.

It was already after sunset so chances were the vampire would answer. Raphael had told him they should arrange a meeting, but he hadn't said on the same day. And Luke had other things to think about.

And maybe that was it. He had so much to think about, with Clary, and Jocelyn and even Jace. Maybe he needed to be reminded of how it felt being in control, to not rely on destiny, but on himself. He was pack chief, which meant that there was no werewolf with more power than him in his pack, but he didn't feel like he was chief. He felt… he felt like he was losing control, like there was a hurricane going around him and everything he could get his hands on to put him back on earth was just gone.

Valentine was back, and with him memories than were best left forgotten. Jocelyn was in a coma, maybe never waking up. Clary was in love with his brother, even if she didn't accept it or see it. Gretel and Alaric were dead, along with many pack members. Pack members who he should have saved. He put them in danger, and he knew this, but Jocelyn… She was in Valentine's hands and even if he didn't love her as he once had, he wouldn't let her die, not to mention that he knew Clary would have gone without him. Clary was like his daughter, he couldn't have allowed her to die. Unfortunately, that didn't make the guilt disappear.

He clicked the green button and waited. He was in control of his own life.

"Si?" After a few seconds somebody picked up and it took some time for Luke to realize this, "hello? Anybody there?"

"Yes, sorry. Raphael, is that you? It's Luke, Luke Graymark."

He heard a laugh from the other side, "when I said we needed to talk, I didn't mean right now. And I thought you said you would send somebody to make an arrangement," there was no accent on the other side, Luke noted.

"Yes, well, why leave for later what you can do now?"

"It's a good mojo," Raphael said and the last word sounded weird coming from the other man's lips.

"Anyway, I thought we could meet."

There was a pause, "tonight?"

"If you're not busy," Luke said and made himself control his beating heart. This was sounding stupider as the minutes passed.

"I'm not. When and where?"

He looked at his watch. Right now it was seven and thirty, and he still needed to have dinner, "ten p.m. on Black Lips?" It was a mundi place, but for some reason Luke didn't want to meet Raphael on a place where they could be known or, more precisely, interrupted.

There was no pause this time, "sure. Te veré más tarde," and he ended the call without waiting for Luke to say something.

Luke understood enough Spanish to know it was time for him to go home. Later he would talk to Raphael.

He didn't know why he didn't tell Clary that he was leaving, but going to bed. Actually, it was better this way, at least Simon and Clary wouldn't try anything if they knew he was in the house. Or so he hoped.

He left through the door on the back. Not so much as to not wake up Simon, but more because if he wasn't there then he really didn't want to know.

He didn't really believe the two of them would do more than kissing; he trusted Clary, but still… he remembered when she didn't even knew what sex was. Sometimes he missed those times.

He thought of taking his van, but for some reason he went into the garage and grabbed the motorbike. He didn't usually ride it, mostly because he normally was with more than one person, and because he was afraid that if Clary found the motorbike she would start riding it, and get in an accident.

Of course, nowadays worrying about an automobile accident seemed stupid with everything that was happening. Everything that could end in Clary getting hurt, or Simon, who as the years passed had come to mean something to Luke.

When he parked the bike it was only nine and forty five so he decided to go in and get a drink.

He thought of sitting at the bar, but decided against it and went to a table for two people in the corner, waiting for the waitress to appear.

When Raphael finally arrived, Luke was already nursing his third beer.

He wasn't a big drinker, especially since with his werewolf metabolism, it took more alcohol than to a normal human to get drunk, but today he felt so tired.

He just wanted to forget, and since it didn't seem like he was gonna get lucky, getting drunk was the second best option.

"Already drinking? For how long have you been here?" Raphael asked without a hello, simply sitting on the chair opposite from Luke's.

"Just a couple of minutes. I got bored waiting for you."

The other man laughed, "I'm right on time, you're the one that arrived earlier," he said and Luke looked at him more closely.

Raphael was wearing a white shirt, with two open buttons, and a golden chain on his neck. He looked different from how he had looked in the morning, more relaxed. Luke wasn't sure if that was because he was away from the Institute and Maryse or for another reason.

"Maybe," Luke answered, not really wanting to start a discussion over something as stupid as this topic of conversation was. "You know, the last time I was alpha, it was when meetings between vampires and werewolves weren't really needed. But maybe that was just the pack I was hanging with; they weren't exactly what one would expect from a werewolf."

"Oh?" Raphael asked after asking for a drink and putting something in it, blood more likely, from a recipient he brought.

"Yes, they lived very close from Idris."

"Right," the other gave him a smirk, "you're the Nephilim that was transformed into a werewolf. You're lucky you weren't transformed into a vampire."

It was true, vampire blood was poisonous for Shadowhunters; normally somebody who was bitten had to drink holly water for it to go away.

"Yes, well, I don't think that younger me thought like that."

"Right," Raphael took a drink, "Nephilins hate us more than we hate each other."

"You mean vampires and werewolves?" Luke asked, taking a sip from his drink. For some reason hearing that Raphael hated him annoyed him.

"Sí."

Luke thought about telling him he didn't hate him, but didn't seem to be the right thing to say, instead saying, "well, I and you are here and we haven't killed each other."

Raphael smirked, "yet."

Luke couldn't really see it as a threat, so he just rolled his eyes, "it would be really stupid if we died killing each other with all that's going on."

Raphael lost the jokiness in his eyes, "yes, you're right. The world of shadows is changing, and I cannot imagine not being here."

"Maybe in hell there's television," Luke said looking at the other in the eyes while he took one last gulp of his beer.

Raphael smirked, "are you saying I'm going to hell?"

"You're half demon. I'm half demon. Do you really believe we're going to heaven?"

Raphael laughed, "you believe in a heaven and a hell?"

"Well… there are angels, so… they must come from somewhere," suddenly Luke felt a bit silly and called for another beer, "don't you?"

Raphael was still smiling but there were emotions hidden in there. Pain, anger, hurt. "I don't really believe that angels exist. In my opinion the first Shadowhunter was an accident, a charm that went wrong… or right, depending on who you ask. As for Heaven and Hell… I learned a long time ago that if there is a God he isn't interested in us."

"You really don't believe," Luke said. He knew this because vampires could only say 'God' if they didn't believe. It was why holly water, crucifixes and even passages from religious books worked against them. It wasn't because they were afraid; it was because of the faith that was put upon those objects.

"I don't," Raphael asked for another drink. "A meeting between the alpha wolf and the chief vampire is normally made two or three days after they become chief. In these meetings we try to work out or differences, so that we can work together, or at least, try that our clans don't start a war. And the reason you have never done this is probably because there aren't many clans and packs that do this. But Camille… well, she has a past with werewolves."

Luke didn't really feel like changing subject, he wanted to hear more about Raphael's opinions but he could see the other man wasn't planning on sharing more, so he entered the game, raising an eyebrow, "a past with werewolves?"

"Yes, she used to date one," he put his palm up when Luke opened his mouth to make more questions, "and that is all I will say about the matter."

Luke closed his mouth, "very well."

He wasn't a child anymore; he could accept a no, even if all his bones in his body were screaming for more information.

A romance between a werewolf and a vampire weren't very common. One night-stands? Sure. But vampires starting alliances because of it? That was something Luke didn't know much about.

They stayed silent for some minutes while they drank.

"So… now, what?" Luke asked when the silent was too much for him.

"Like I said, we discuss our matters. For instance, if one of your werewolves goes into my territory I am allowed to kill him," Raphael said and Luke noted a smirk there and amusement in his eyes.

He couldn't help the blush that came on his cheeks, which was never a good idea while around vampires. He could see Raphael's eyes on his cheeks. "Yes, about that…" he scratched the back of his head, "sorry, but Clary… well, if a human goes into your territory you kill them, don't you?" There wasn't any judgment in his voice; he had killed his share of people and he knew it was in a vampire's nature.

"We do, and don't worry about it; my vampires were starting to get bored. Sooner or later they would have started something."

He raised both of his eyebrows, "when they're bored they start a war?"

Raphael laughed, "war is such a strong word. And, please, don't tell me your wolves just go around cooking."

"Actually, they do. To the mundis our quarters look like a Chinese take-away, so when they call, the younger ones usually cook," he didn't even think before telling this to Raphael. He knew he should be more careful towards the information he gave him about their quarters, but he couldn't believe that Raphael would attack him. Wouldn't believe.

Raphael laughed. This one seemed more natural and more real than the previous and Luke couldn't help but to like the sound.

Raphael laughed until the bars patrons started looking their way.

"I am sorry, but this is just… priceless," he smiled at him and Luke couldn't help but to copy the gesture.

There was something about Raphael… he didn't look innocent. In reality, he looked like if you touched his hair, or any part of his body, for that matter, or even looked at his way he would crack your neck without second thinking. But then he laughed, and Luke felt himself craving for the knowledge of how the other man had been as a human. God knew Luke wasn't the same as he used to be.

"And if one of your vampires goes into my territory we're allowed to kill him?"

Raphael didn't lose the smile, but it didn't seem so real anymore. "Yes. It's in our law," his head moved to the side like a dog's did when it was curious about something. "What do you know about our laws?"

Luke didn't really understand the question, "ah… you mean, the Council's laws?"

Raphael shook his head, "No, no, I meant _our _laws. You do know that all Shadows habitants have their own laws, right?"

Luke must have done something to show his confusion because Raphael continued, but not annoyed, Luke noted.

"For instance, Faerie law isn't really known by anybody besides them. Werewolves law, well, you'll have to ask more about it to one of yours, since I'm not into everything, but I do know that for one of you to become a chief you have to kill the prior."

Luke nodded; it was the first thing he had learned when becoming a werewolf.

"Then you have the laws of how one of you becomes the second in command, the third and so on."

Luke knew there was a chain of command but he wasn't sure how that happened, "and how does that happen?"

Raphael laughed before answering, "a vampire giving a werewolf information about our laws. The world must be coming to an end," he looked seriously at the other man, "and it maybe is."

Luke only sipped his drink, not wanting to get into Raphael's topic of conversation. The more he got to know vampires, the more he realized that mortality wasn't something they cared about. That dying wasn't really important; in fact it was something most of them hoped to know one day. Luke had always thought weird that most vampires, the ones that weren't proud and didn't die with a snarl and threats, died with a smile.

Raphael, probably noting his discomfort, nodded and continued. "It is by power that the chain in command in a pack is chosen. If you died by natural reasons then your second in command would be chief until somebody tried to kill him. It isn't against your law to transform a human, only if he is a child or a pregnant woman, since that usually leads to the baby dying or having problems."

Luke didn't tear his eyes off Raphael while this torrent of information fell on top of him. Werewolves didn't tell their laws like this, so matter of fact. They liked to tell stories and to tell about the past, reason why Luke had never paid much attention and didn't know much, actually.

"There are also other rules about territory, but you'll have to ask one of your buddies, since I only know about vampires. Vampires and warlocks laws are basically the same. Death penalty doesn't exist, no matter the circumstance, and the council that decides our punishments for breaking the law, like killing somebody, is the same. It is also against the law to transform the one you love, but that's mostly for warlocks. Transforming a human or even a Shadowhunter into an immortal being is… well, it is hard but the pain is also said to be so much that most can't survive or are never the same again."

Luke nodded, not noting the other man had stopped talking until he drank.

Most of this information had been new, and he knew there were still things Raphael wasn't telling him, but it was his law so he didn't push.

When he came for Jocelyn he had accepted to leave his old life behind, both the Shadowhunter one and the werewolf. It hadn't been hard, since his Nephilin life had ended years before and being a wolf had always been more of a curse than a choice. But now that he had a new pack, he was starting to miss those days. Was starting to wonder about 'what if?'. There were so many, making his head hurt from thinking about it. He asked for another drink and they changed subjects.

They finished their talk about their politics and then went to talk about meaningless topics, but Luke didn't mind. Talking with Raphael was good; he was an intelligent man and didn't treat him like anything that he wasn't. He treated him like they were equals, and not his superior like his pack mates did or like he wouldn't understand him, like Clary did.

They kept drinking and talking until both their brains were starting to get slower and it was taking them longer to speak an entire sentence.

At three a.m. they were finally expelled from the bar and they stood outside still laughing from Raphael's story.

When they finally stopped they stood looking at each other for some minutes.

Luke knew he should just go. He wasn't that drunk that he would get into an accident, and even if he did, he would heal before any ambulance could arrive.

But instead he stayed planted and when Raphael put one of his hands on his cheek and the other on his waist he was only half surprised when he was kissed.

He kissed back without thinking. Raphael was cold; something Luke didn't really mind since his body temperature was warmer than a normal human.

Their tongues touched and it was a battle for dominance, one that Luke didn't plan on losing. His wolf was right under the surface, but it wasn't calling for the vampire's blood. Instead, it seemed to want more. More heat, more skin, more tongue. _More._

They kissed until they were both panting. Luke for necessity and Raphael because… well, maybe because of habit. Luke wasn't sure and his brain wasn't cooperating on thoughts that didn't include putting his hands on more of Raphael's skin.

Raphael smirked at him, "maybe we should take this to somewhere else?"

Luke knew he should say that they had done more than enough, that this had been a mistake but there was something in Raphael's eyes… there was lust but Luke could see the fear of rejection in there. A fear that the other was trying hard to hide.

Luke kissed him, "where do you want to go?"

Raphael's smile made it worth. It would make everything worth.

"There's a hotel just a block away," he said, pointing to where lights could be seen.

"Okay," Luke smiled, "race you there," and then he took off.

For a second Raphael's laugh followed him but in a moment the other had passed him and was already at the hotel's door, which luckily was still open.

Actually, the other man was so fast that when Luke finally arrived Raphael was waiting for him at the lift with a key on his hand.

The elevator was desert and they kept kissing in there.

They finally stopped at the seventh floor and Raphael was quick to open the door.

When the door was closed and they were alone in a place with a bed Luke started feeling that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all but was stopped by Raphael's lips on his mouth.

This kiss was an experiment, sweet and calm. Like a first kiss should be, Luke mused. It made him feel better; he didn't like meaningless one night-stands. He didn't really expect tomorrow to wake up with Raphael in his arms, who obviously wouldn't be because of the sun, but he still didn't want to say no.

Raphael was his equal; he could take whatever he gave him. And right now it looked like he would take whatever he could and then ask for more. Ask until Luke didn't have anything left in him.

He found himself not minding at all, instead taking hold of Raphael's waist and turning the kiss from an innocent peck to tongues and teeth. Raphael ripped off Luke's shirt, who only laughed in response.

When they felt on the bed both of them had lost their shirts and shoes. They rolled around the bed until Luke was on top.

For a second he didn't know what to do but Raphael's eyes, normally brown but now black with lust, were urging him on and Luke put his lips on his neck, going down and down.

He stopped for some seconds in each nipple, biting the right one and hearing the other man moaning. Of course Raphael would be a masochist.

When he arrived to the pants he licked as far as the pants would allow.

"¡Ai mío dios! ¡Vas ser a mi muerte! ¡Muévete!"

Luke laughed, not really understanding what the other man was saying.

"Relax," he told the Spanish man.

He opened the other's belt and took off the pants. He blew on top of where Raphael's cock was and held down the other's hips when he tried to get them higher.

He kept it up, even going as far as licking the boxers, until a noise, like a puppy would do, escaped the others lips and finally Luke took off the boxers and swallowed as far as he could of the other's cock.

He hadn't done this in a while, but he remembered the basics. Don't bite and take only as far as you can.

When he felt the other was close he took off his mouth with a pop and started kissing the other's cock.

Raphael kept moaning and writhing under him.

"¡Por favor, te mueve!" Luke liked how the other sounded when begging but deciding that was enough he put his mouth back on, with his hand on the skin that his lips couldn't reach and started an easy rhythm.

It didn't take more than a couple of times before Raphael was coming inside his mouth, making obscene sounds. Sounds that Luke wanted to keep recorded on his mind for as long as he could.

He let go of the other and kissed his way to the other's mouth.

They kissed lazily until Raphael, with an urge of strength, put Luke on his back, with his hips straddling his waist.

"It's payback time. And you know what they say," he said while kissing his way down, taking his time with every piece of skin he could put his lips on. "Payback's a bitch."

Luke was hard as a rock when Raphael took his cock in his mouth and couldn't stop the sounds coming off his mouth. He wasn't really a screamer, but he knew he made noises. He normally tried to keep them on, but Raphael told him to make all the sounds he wanted.

"I want to hear you come. _Para mí_."

Raphael took it slow and went as far as putting one digit circling his entrance. When the finger finally pushed in, it was a mixture of pleasure and pain and with Raphael's name on his lips Luke came.

Raphael did as he had done and came kissing his skin until their lips met once again.

They kissed for some seconds until finally they pulled their boxers on and went to sleep under the covers.

Luke kept expecting the other man to go, but Raphael only put a hand on his waist and his head under his shoulder.

It didn't take much for Luke to fall asleep, knowing that the other wouldn't be there when he woke, but not regretting a minute of it.


	2. Chapter 2

The idea that nobody will ever read this never really crossed my mind ... so if anybody has read it, say something. Unless it's a bad thing. Anyway, here is chapter two ... I'll even post three if it makes you come out !

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**Chapter 2**

Luke woke up with his phone ringing and it took him a while to find it on the bedside table, which was unknown to him, as was the bedroom.

"Luke? Where are you?" Clary. But why was Clary- Oh.

Suddenly everything that had happened the night before appeared before his eyes and he rolled around for Raphael.

He wasn't there and Luke felt a bit disappointed, until he realized the sun was up. Of course the other man had left before he exploded in ashes.

"Clary, hi. I'm taking care of some pack's business," there was no way he was telling her he was in a hotel room where he had had sex with a vampire. He blushed at the memories, "what's wrong?"

"Can you pick me up? I'm at the Institute."

"Yes, of course," Luke said while getting dressed. "Why are you there?"

She sighed, "it's a long story. I'll explain later. How long will you take?"

He wasn't very far from his house, where he needed to go to get his van, and from there to the Institute… "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Bye," he said but she had already disconnected.

He tried to put behind all thoughts about Raphael, but memories came crashing down on him.

A one night stand with a man wasn't that unusual for him, but with a vampire? And Raphael nonetheless? He wasn't sure what to think. Or even what the rules were.

Did they pretend it had never happened? Or did he call him and make another arrangement? Did he _want _to make another arrangement?

Yes, he thought as he pulled over outside of his house. He did.

He had had fun with Raphael, and not only in the hotel room. Raphael may seem younger, but he was older than he looked and was interesting and fun to talk with. Not to mention he was hot and knew exactly what he was doing in bed.

That and… He had forgotten about Clary and about Jocelyn for some hours. He couldn't bring himself to feel bad about it. He loved them both but he had gained more white hairs in this last week's than on his entire life.

He arrived at the Institute thinking about how he should call Raphael, but those thoughts were pushed away when Clary came running towards him and hugged him before started telling him her story.

When Clary finished her story about how Jace had been sent to prison for a night and how all the Silent Brothers were dead, Luke finally felt bad.

If he had been at home he would have heard and none of this would have happened.

He shouldn't have left her alone.

"It wasn't your fault," Clary said and only then did he realize he had talked out loud. "You couldn't have stopped me; you would probably just get in trouble. Simon isn't really happy with me."

"And he shouldn't be. I can't believe you did this, Clary."

"But Jace-"

"No; Jace can take care of himself and weren't Isabelle and Alec already going there? They're used to things like that, you aren't. You could have been hurt."

"But Jace was in danger! He could have died!"

She sounded so much like her mother had at that age that it physically hurt Luke. But he also remembered that without somebody to tell Jocelyn when she was doing wrong, she would just keep it up until she or somebody else got hurt. And then she would cry on his shoulder and Luke couldn't find in himself to blame her.

He didn't blame Clary; this was a world she had no idea even existed but still felt drawn to, hoping she could finally find her place in the world. Luke didn't blame her for that one bit, it was something he had searched for a long time, sometimes not being sure if he had ever found it.

"Clary… I'm not going to ground you, because you and I both know that won't change a thing, but please, please, start thinking before you act. This time you were lucky, next time you may not be," _there may not be a next time, _was the thought he didn't voice, but still he felt like she understood, for she sat back on the chair, like she usually did when she was ashamed of what she had done, but still wouldn't have changed a thing.

Luke sighed and drove them to the hospital.

.

When the sunset came, Luke had his phone on his hand. He wanted to talk to somebody, and for some reason the first person that came to mind was Raphael.

Clary was at the house, and since Jace was at Magnus, Luke thought she wouldn't leave.

He still felt bad for leaving the other night, believing if he had been there maybe this wouldn't have happened, but he didn't believe she would leave so early. And if she did… he choose not to go in there.

He didn't call right away, instead putting the phone down and going to make dinner.

He didn't usually cook but he had gone and made some shopping. He wasn't great, but at least it made his hands and mind busy for a while.

After they had dinner Clary went to watch some television and Luke went to his bedroom.

He stayed for some time just looking at the screen, until finally with a deep breath he phoned the other man.

Raphael picked up at the second ring. "Luke," he said as a hello.

"Raphael," he said before going silence.

He really had to start to think things over before doing them. What was he supposed to say now? Luckily he was stopped from babbling about the reason why he had called by Raphael.

"Would you like to go for a movie?" There were no jitters on the other's voice, at least not that Luke could note.

Luke didn't think before accepting, "sure, what movie?"

"Funny Games? It's a remake from an Austrian movie."

Luke had watched the original just last week, but still he accepted and after they made arrangements, he disconnected.

He sat at his bed for some minutes. He had a… date? Could it be called a date? Was it a date?

He started going through his clothes, this time wanting to look more presentable than he had on the night before, with an old shirt and jeans that looked they should be in a dump.

When he finally felt happy with how he looked he was wearing a t-shirt, jeans that didn't have a single hole in them and sneakers. His hair was still lose, since he wasn't a fan of gel and he had put his better glasses, not the ones he usually wore and that had more risks than a zebra.

"Wow," Clary said with a smile when she saw him, "date?"

He couldn't help but to smile back, "something like that."

"Well, have fun. And don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She screamed at his back.

He decided not to think of what exactly he would do on his date, or more precisely what Clary would do, because those were thoughts he definitely didn't want to have.

Once again he took his motorbike, arriving right at time. This time it was Raphael who was already there, lying against a wall with a cigarette on his lips.

"Hi!" Luke told him with a smile and Raphael nodded back, putting the cigarette out.

"I already got the tickets; let's go in?" Raphael asked and Luke nodded.

They bought popcorns and while they waited for the movie to start Luke asked the other man why he smoked.

"It's not like I can get cancer," Raphael told him with a laugh and Luke could see how much more relaxed he was. It made him feel good. "Smoking is… well, it's smoke, like air, so I can still feel it. I don't really like to eat, which we can if we put blood on the food, but smoking… I like it."

"It suits you," Luke said without really thinking and blushed when Raphael smirked at him.

Honestly, what was happening to him? Suddenly he was a bloody teenager who had never been on a date before?

Luke was prepared to ask him why he had asked him to go out when the movie started, making the room go darker, and both of them sat back on their chairs. There would be time for questions later.

.

The movie was good, not better than the original but Luke had always liked Tim Roth so he couldn't say it was a waste of time.

They hadn't done anything during the movie, but after the interval Luke had found himself with Raphael's hand on his, and not thinking about it had interlaced their fingers. Raphael hadn't drawn back.

Luke couldn't help but to feel like a teenager again, and it felt good. With all that was happening, being able to be with someone, someone he didn't have to lie to and understood him, was special. Unique.

Raphael invited him to dinner and Luke didn't see why not. As a werewolf he needed much more food than a normal human, and even with a dinner and popcorn he felt like he could eat more.

Raphael asked for a drink and some French fries at the restaurant while Luke went for an entire steak.

"I thought you said you didn't like to eat."

"And I don't. But it would look weird if you were the only one eating. And I can put blood on the fries, it'll look like ketchup."

"Oh," Luke said and before he could stop himself, or lose his courage, asked the twenty millions question, "why did you ask me on a date?"

Raphael laughed, "well, you certainly don't lose time." He didn't change from his relaxed posture when he answered, "I've been around for some years, and I've learned the cost of losing people. You have your mojo of doing what you can today and not tomorrow. Mine is not letting people escape, because there'll come a day when you'll hope you hadn't, and it will be too late."

Raphael's tone suggested he knew from experience, and it didn't seem to have been a good one, so Luke changed subject and they talked about Valentine and the Clave.

Luke soon found out their opinions about it were very different but he still liked listening to Raphael talking. For the last weeks the only people around him had been Clary, Simon and his pack. His pack was mostly made of young werewolves who wanted adventures and to fight; and Simon and Clary… they were both young, who thought the world was at their feet.

But talking to Raphael… it was like talking to an adult. Somebody who had his own opinions but knew that in the big picture it wouldn't mean shit.

"The Nephilins will not fight Valentine until it's too late. They'll hope that he'll grow some sense, which won't happen, and when they finally realize there's a war coming, half of them will have died and the other will have run."

"Shadowhunters don't run."

"Yes, well, I was talking about the youngsters and the oldest. Not to mention the ones that are spread around the globe and won't have the chance to get there quick enough."

"And after?" Raphael raised an eyebrow, "what do you think will happen after all the Shadowhunters are dead or in hiding?"

Raphael took a sip, "he'll come after us. And he won't stop until we're all dead."

"Do you think we stand a chance?"

Raphael nodded, "I do. Because unlike the Clave we'll realize that the only way for us to win this war is to fight together. The only reason the Shadowhunters have so much power is because we don't fight together against it."

"But against Valentine we'll fight together?"

"Yes. It won't be easy, but most of us have been around long enough to realize when help is needed, and more important, accept it."

Luke shook his head, "I think you're wrong. You're probably right when saying that there's a war coming, a war that'll only be won if we fight together, but when the Clave understands it, they'll ask us for help."

"And do you think we will? Help, that is."

Luke wanted to say yes, but he couldn't. "I will," he said very quietly.

Raphael nodded, "yes, but you're connected to one of them, aren't you? It'll come down to the ones of us who are connected to a Nephilim. And those will ask us to fight, and some will go, maybe for a favor, maybe for the fight or simply because they were asked. Asked by our people. Not Nephilim. They won't ask."

Luke wanted nothing more than to scream 'you're wrong!' but that was a lie.

"The Clave still believes things can continue as they are," Luke murmured.

"Yes, it does. And it always will," he took a sip from his whiskey. "Even if we fight with them, they'll never see us as they're equals."

"No, they won't."

"They won't. They have grown too cocky, believing that their race is better than all others. Better than demons, half demons and humans. It doesn't matter to them. Shadowhunters aren't like us; they don't have somebody who remembers the old days, when they weren't respected. More important, none of them remembers how hard that respect cost them. Nobody wanted to fight demons, so the fight was lent to them, but if they had been like they are today things wouldn't have reached this point. A point where they've forgotten exactly how strong we are, and how powerful we could be together."

Luke didn't know what to say. "You really believe that if Faeries, Vampires, Werewolves and Warlocks got together they would be able to fight Shadowhunters? And kill them?"

Raphael nodded, "I do. And someday it will happen. Maybe we won't be here, maybe we will, but things will change. They already are. Shadowhunters aren't as many as they used to be, and we're getting sick of being told what to do, how to behave, like dogs," he said the last word with such venom that Luke was taken aback for a second.

He wanted to argue against Raphael; say that things weren't like that. That Shadowhunters would accept them, but that would be lying. To Raphael and to himself.

Raphael finished his drink and asked for another while Luke continued eating.

Raphael opened his mouth but closed it without saying anything. Then he sighed and for a second Luke could see all the years that his body was hiding.

"I don't hate Nephilins. At least not all of them. And more important, I don't wish their death. But..." He ate a chip, "all we want, all everybody wants is to be accepted. I didn't choose to be a vampire," Raphael continued looking at his drink, and with too many emotions on his voice for Luke to decipher half of them, "and it took me a long time to accept it. Being hated by something I didn't choose didn't make sense to me. In my opinion the world should have been behind me, trying to make me see the good of this new life, not in front of me with torches pointing at my chest."

Luke didn't say anything until he had finished his stake. "I didn't choose to be a werewolf. And I was hated by my family and friends. My parabatai gave me a knife so that I could end my miserable existence. My sister felt disgusted by me and then lost her husband because of me. I didn't have anybody besides me, and you're right, it was hard. But I got up and I survived."

Raphael gave him a smile that contained no joy, "but it would have been so much easier if they had accepted."

"You're right, it would. But they didn't and I learned to forgive."

Raphael laughed, "did you forgive the man that transformed into a werewolf? Because I didn't."

"No, I didn't. I killed him, and took over his pack, which never really accepted me, but still, I wouldn't be who I am today without them. Without him."

Raphael didn't say anything for some minutes, "you're right, I wouldn't be who I am today without my maker. But sometimes I wish I didn't have to find out. That I could have gone on with my mundane life and died with a family and never knowing of the existence of the Shadows world."

Luke only drank in response. God, didn't he knew that feeling.

They kept silence until suddenly Raphael smiled at him and asked about his motorbike.

Luke knew he was changing subject but he didn't mind. Raphael had put questions in his mind; questions that he wasn't sure he wanted to give answers.

When they finally asked for the bill, which Luke paid since Raphael had paid for the movies and the hotel room the day before, they left and stood outside the building looking at each other.

Luke didn't let the younger man say anything before he had his mouth on the other.

He didn't let Raphael accelerate the rhythm, instead kissing him slowly, with a hand on the other's waist and the other on his hair.

He let go of him and went to kiss his neck until Raphael groaned and he asked the other if he knew of any hotel in the area.

Raphael smirked before answering positively and got on his motorbike, not waiting to see if Luke was behind before he went off.

Once again Luke woke up alone, but with a smile on his face. Again he and Raphael hadn't done more than kiss and blowjobs but Luke couldn't feel better.

.

He couldn't say he had spent the last years in celibacy but still… this was different and he couldn't help but to move his head towards the pillow Raphael had used.

It was only eight a.m. so he took a shower before exiting the hotel, once again discovering the bill had already been paid.

He went to the pack and made his day as his previous, receiving a message in the middle of the day by Raphael, who hoped they could meet again two days later, since he had to take care of some business.

Luke didn't even think before saying yes, being brought back from those thoughts by Cam, his new second in command.

"Hot date, boss?" She asked with a smirk and he rolled his eyes at her.

"None of your business."

"Come on, you know you can trust me," she said with a smirk.

He just waved at her and went away.

He visited Jocelyn and told her about Raphael. He wasn't sure if he believed that she could hear him, but he didn't want her to think he had forgotten about her.

Truth was he had lost all romantic love for her a long time ago, and now she was more like a sister. He had already lost one, and he didn't plan on losing another.

At dinner he received jokes from Clary, and even Simon, who had gone to dinner with them at a pizzeria, about his date, but he only took it with a smile.

He knew why there were doing this. He'd never really dated somebody for long enough for him to introduce her or him to them, and joking about his love life was something they usually did. In a world that had lost all familiarity they needed an anchor, and Luke didn't mind that he was it.

After they had finished he drove Simon back to his house and then he and Clary went back to his.

They watched a movie and in the middle, when Ben was meeting Alicia for the first time, Clary asked about his date, this time with a seriousness that made him want to tell her all about it.

"It was nice," he looked at her carefully while saying the next words, "he's a nice man."

He could feel the surprise in her look, but there was no disgust or hate. Not that he had ever expected to find it, but having been raised like he had he still expected people to hate him because of who he dated; of who he loved.

They went back to the movie and she only talked again when he got back from the kitchen with popcorns. "Are you gay or…?"

"I'm bisexual," he said, hating the word. Gender had never been important to him. If he found somebody that made him happy, then the outside didn't really matter.

"Oh," she got quiet for some seconds, "did you love my mother? I mean, romantically."

"I did. But I don't anymore."

She nodded, "yeah, I know. I always thought you did, but this last month's I've seen you change. Before your eyes always light up when you saw her, and it still does, but not like it used to. And sometimes she got uncomfortable, but she wasn't anymore. I think," she said slowly, like she was choosing her words carefully, "that you're better this way. As friends. Parabatai."

He looked at her surprised. He had never thought of Jocelyn as his parabatai, mostly because now he didn't need one, but now that she put it into his mind… Parabatai weren't that usual, and normally it was guys that found that special friendship with others. There weren't many women with parabatai, and even less with parabatai of the opposite gender.

He smiled at her, "I think so too," and put an arm around her shoulders, with her resting her head on his shoulder.

They felt asleep like that and when clapping came from the screen he found himself dreaming of dances.


	3. Chapter 3

This is for the anon that was the first to review and DrVamp. Thank you :) Hope you also enjoy this chapter which really brings the M in the... well, M.

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**Chapter 3**

The day before his date with Raphael (the word still brought butterflies to his stomach, and seriously, had he become a teenager without realizing?) was spent like usual.

He ate with Clary, went to the hospital, took care of some pack business, went to the hospital, ate with Clary and went to sleep.

The next day, since with Raphael the dates could never be before sunset, was spent basically the same way.

Jocelyn was still the same, with his hopes decreasing with every passing day, and Clary was spending time with Simon, which he was secretly glad for.

Simon was a good boy, one that would treat Clary with all the love and respect that she deserved and then some more, and he didn't doubt Jace would treat her well, but…

It wasn't even the fact that they were brothers. They hadn't been raised like it, so of course they wouldn't feel like they were, but there was something about Jace… he was a bad boy. Simple and clear. And bad boys were every parent's nightmare.

Sure, Clary wasn't really his daughter but that had stopped mattering to his brain and heart years ago, and now he couldn't sleep well because of the worry for her.

Maybe that was one of the reasons he kept going to Raphael.

Being with Raphael didn't need any thought. It was simple. Luke didn't exactly expect a relationship to come out of this, but for now he was having fun, and forgetting all about how fucked up his life had become in the last few weeks, which was always good.

He sighed, letting his head fall on the kitchen table.

"What's up, Luke?" Clary asked taking a coke from the fridge, and then putting her body against it while she opened the can.

"Nothing," he shook his head, "I guess I'm just tired."

"Well, then maybe you should go to bed," she said but Luke knew he wouldn't do that. The sun was already gone and he was supposed to meet Raphael in about an hour.

"It's fine, but maybe a coke would do me good," he smiled at her and with a roll of eyes she passed him a can.

"At least it's not coffee," she remarked and they shared a smile.

He missed those moments; the moments that spoke of a familiarly that couldn't be faked, that had to be worked until it happened. Moments that you didn't realize the importance until they had already passed.

"Hey, are you still there?" Clary was waving a hand in front of his eyes and he tried to focus.

"Yes, sorry, just thinking."

She smirked, a smirk that reminded him too well of Jace, "well, don't hurt yourself."

He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed.

It wasn't a laugh like they used to be, so full of joy and never fake; this one spoke of how a true laugh was hard to come by nowadays.

They went to the TV and after watching an episode of House he went to get ready.

He put a blue t-shirt, black jeans and sneakers, since he never used shoes unless he was forced to it.

He flew a kiss in Clary's direction, not answering any of her questions before he was out of the house.

Raphael had told him to meet directly at the hotel, the same as last time, which made Luke worried.

Was the other man bored of dating and simply wanted to fuck? Luke wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Sex was never something he said no to, but meaningless sex… especially with a man that he had thought was having fun with… He hoped to be wrong. But if he was, then why had Raphael asked him to come to the hotel?

It didn't make sense, and Luke tried to concentrate on the things he had to do the next day because of the wolf child who had been killed. The killer hadn't yet been found and the wolves were starting to ask for blood.

Luke had told them how the clan of vampires of New York said it wasn't them, but the wolves didn't believe him. A few more days and there would be a fight.

When he reached the fourth floor he was thinking if he would be able to kill Raphael if it came down to it.

Raphael opened the door with a large smile and Luke quickly found the answer. No, he wouldn't.

Raphael kissed him on the lips, smirking when Luke blushed.

All the thoughts of Raphael only wanting a quick fuck disappeared. Not that the only man didn't want a fuck, he was sure, but would he have kissed him like that?

Luke was lost in his thoughts while Raphael dragged him through the hotel room, different and bigger than the last one, and showed him the living room where a table was settled with a candle in the middle and lasagna on it.

"I should have brought flowers, shouldn't I?" Luke asked him with a smile, but still, he felt like he should turn away and go buy them.

Raphael only laughed at him, pushing the chair for him to sit down and then going to open a bottle of wine.

"You do realize that you didn't need all this if you just wanted to get in my pants, right?" Luke asked, because seriously, he was being wooed by a vampire.

"I may not be from the Victorian era but that does not mean I wasn't raised properly. Not like you, apparently. Raised by a pack of wolves?"

"Ah ah, aren't you Mr. Funny?" Luke asked but couldn't help the smile on his lips. "Sorry if I'm not used to being wooed," he said and had to control himself to not make quotation marks with his fingers.

Raphael arched his eyebrows, "wooed? Is that what this is? I have to admit I didn't think of this as wooing you."

"Then what did you think of this?"

Raphael smirked, "isn't it obvious? That this would be the perfect way to get into your pants."

Luke looked at him for some seconds before he almost fell down of his chair laughing. This was just too weird. But definitely a good weird.

When he finally stopped laughing Raphael's eyes were on him with joy in his look, and even a bit of pride, he noted.

"Why lasagna?"

"Honestamente? It's the only thing I can cook."

Raphael stopped with the fork halfway to his mouth, "you cooked this? Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," he said with an accent on the last word.

Luke looked at him seriously, "I'm not sure if I should feel complimented or should call for a pizza."

Raphael looked like he wanted to throw the food at him, but because that was beneath him, just rolled his eyes.

"Sorry if I was trying to be romantic," he said, but there was no hurt in that, at least no real one. The accent was still there, and Luke felt like he could hear the other man speak for ages with that accent. Not that he wouldn't normally listen to Raphael speak, of course.

"No, no, it's very… romantic," he smiled at him, "thank you."

Raphael smirked, "oh, don't thank me yet. I can think of other ways to thank me."

Luke blushed while Raphael laughed.

He ate with Raphael's eyes on him, which had a certain nervousness in them.

"What? Did you poison it? Because it's great. I haven't ate a lasagna this good in years," and it was true; if this was all that Raphael could cook then it was definitely worth it.

Raphael rolled his eyes and the nervousness went away, "no, it's just that I haven't cooked in a while. Not really necessary."

"Oh, right," Luke said and ate more to stop himself from saying more. Or question.

Raphael cooked just for him; a meal he hadn't done in a while. Luke wasn't sure how to feel about it, but he knew that if he let his mouth run with it he would probably insult the other man, even inadvertently.

Luke found himself talking about his childhood with the other man, not really sure how, but without wanting to stop. Raphael was an avid listener, and didn't seem to mind the topic of conversation.

"And then you and Jocelyn provoked the Insurrection."

Luke drank from his glass of wine. They were already on the second bottle. "Yes, but it wasn't really… I mean, we knew what was going to happen, but we didn't want it… I mean, if we hadn't-"

Raphael surprised him by putting his hand on top of Luke's, "it's okay, I understand. If you hadn't it would have been much worse. It's a 'what if' that we shouldn't dwell on."

Luke nodded, "you weren't there." It came more like a statement than a question, which was not something Luke pretended. It wasn't like he could remember everyone that had been there.

"I wasn't. I was in Italy, taking care of some things."

Luke nodded, and wanting to change subjects, asked, "how old are you?"

Raphael arched an eyebrow, but seemed entertained by the question.

"I mean, it's just… you're second in command, and I know that vampires evolve in their chain of command by power, which normally comes in years. From what I've heard you're not very old."

"I'm not," Raphael said matter of fact, but Luke could see that the question wasn't something the Latino man enjoyed thinking about. "As many immortals I've lost count of the years, so I can't tell you the exact number, but I was born before 1900. And I mean born in the real meaning of the word, not reborn."

"Oh."

Luke didn't know what to say next. It was obviously not a topic Raphael wanted to discuss more about, but that still didn't explain how he had come to be second in command so early. That would make him about one hundred years, not very old by vampire's age.

Raphael sighed, "when I met Camille I already had, what you could call, a reputation, so when her second in command died she offered me the post. I think that none of us thought I would last the first year, but they listened to me, and now, years later, here we are."

Luke nodded, not trusting his voice to not inquire about the reputation Raphael was talking about, clearly not being something he wanted to discuss.

"How is she?" He asked, still curious about his life.

Raphael smiled, but it was as fake as they came.

"Camille is… well, she's exactly what you would expect from a vampire. She's old, ruthless and she may love, but she won't hesitate one minute before killing them if that gets her something."

"So… do you like her?"

Raphael laughed, like the question truly amused him, "it's not something I've ever thought about, I have to admit. But yes, I guess I like her," he gave him a smirk, one that reminded Luke of the vampire he could be; the one that would have killed Clary and Jace without second thinking, "but not enough that I wouldn't kill her if needed."

But Luke barely heard him, because suddenly all he could think was 'this man could have killed Clary and Jace'. She could have died. Because of him.

"Luke? Are you there?"

"You could have killed her."

"Who? Camille? I could, but-"

"No, not Camille," he looked into the other's eyes, "Clary."

Raphael leaned back on the chair, "I was starting to wonder when you would bring that up. Yes, I could have killed her, and I probably would have if it hadn't been for your wolves."

Luke didn't know what to say or feel about his tone so matter of fact.

Raphael sighed, "don't leave because of it. If it had been any other girl, you wouldn't care, and your wolves would not have almost started a war because of some girl, now would they? They entered our territory without warning and armed, of course we were going to kill them."

Luke swallowed, "I know, but… She's like my daughter."

Raphael sounded upset, "so you're gonna leave?"

"No," he answered before even thinking about it, "I'm not going to leave. There's nothing that can be done now, and I won't pretend that if a Nephilim entered our territory like that we wouldn't have killed him, too. Or tried, with Jace I'm never sure."

Raphael laughed, "the boy is not unbeatable. He would have died at my vampire's hands," he said like he didn't have a doubt about it. "But lets' not dwell on the past. The past is history."

Luke nodded, and drank more before they moved on to another subject. Movies. Always a safe topic.

They discussed the Lord of The Rings, Star Wars and even X-Men while drinking a third bottle; the alcohol finally kicking in, and then Raphael went to put some music.

He asked Luke to dance, who laughed, but still said yes.

"Oh, you're leading, ahm?"

Luke looked at his hand on the other's waist, "I've never really danced another way."

Raphael rolled his eyes, "well, now you will," and changed positions.

It was awkward at first and Luke was pretty sure he stepped on Raphael more than once, but by the end of the first song they were laughing and he didn't try to change their positions until they had danced four songs.

When the CD was up, one of classical songs, they were laughing and a bit tipsier than in the beginning.

"Come on, time for desert," Raphael told him with a leer and started guiding him towards where the room supposedly was, by his shirt.

When Raphael opened the door Luke could see petals of roses on the bed. He was preparing to make a joke about it when Raphael threw him on the bed, turned to him.

Raphael kissed him, standing between his thighs, stopping when the kiss was starting to heat, and Luke couldn't help but to groan in disappointment.

Raphael smirked at him, "after I'm done with you, noises will be the only thing you'll be able to articulate."

"That sounds like a challenge," Luke couldn't help but to say.

Raphael laughed with his head thrown back, showing his neck to Luke, who tried to reach it with his tongue, but was stopped by the younger (older?) man's hands on his shoulder, "you have no idea."

Then he took a few steps behind, smirking when Luke tried to follow him.

"No, no, mi cariño, esta noche yo estoy a cargo." He licked Luke's neck, "eres mío."

Luke had no idea what the other man was saying, but he didn't really mind. Raphael speaking Spanish was hot and once again he tried to put his hands on the other man.

"Voy a tener que buscar el collar?"

Luke understood the last word to decide that the best plan of action was to just sit and stay quiet.

"Bonito perro," Raphael said and Luke decided to pretend he didn't know what that meant, not wanting to lose the night because of it.

Raphael then started taking off his clothes, but with enough care and slow that Luke knew it was all for him.

He didn't stop until he was completely naked, not caring for Luke's state of dress, apparently.

Luke was already hard when Raphael made him lay down and started taking Luke's clothes, touching his crotch every time he could, but only for a second, making Luke groan and push his hips up every time.

Raphael had never been the fast type, but this… this was torture, and Luke found himself loving every minute of it. It had been too long.

When they were both naked Raphael kissed him, with their lips being the only place their bodies touched. His hands were stopping Luke from getting closer, and every time he pushed his head up, Raphael went up, making him almost sit down when Raphael suddenly let go of him.

He made a questioning sound but was muffled by the cover when he was suddenly rolled over.

Kisses were being planted on his bare ass, and Luke couldn't help but to get tense.

Raphael put his hand on Luke's cock and kept kissing his hole until he was relaxed enough that suddenly there was a tongue asking for entrance.

He muffled a cry of pain, because he didn't want Raphael to think that he didn't want this, that he wanted him to stop, but Raphael must have noted his discomfort for he drew back and rolled Luke so that they were face to face.

"I won't force you to anything. If you don't want, just say so."

"No," Luke pressed his forehead to the other's man, "don't stop."

"Okay, but if I'm going too fast or if it hurts too much just tell me. I will stop," Raphael said and Luke nodded.

"I trust you," he said, trying to put as much honesty as he could.

Raphael smiled, showing off his canines, which had gone off but Luke was too off to care about it, and this time didn't roll him, instead planting kisses until he discovered his entrance again, putting Luke's legs on his shoulders.

Being bottom wasn't news to Luke, even if the last time had been a long time ago, but this intimacy… this was different and he wasn't sure how to take it.

Luckily he was stopped from thinking about it too much by a tongue.

Raphael did as he had promised and went slow, with a hand on his cock, the other on one of his nipples and his tongue moving excruciatingly slow.

He only traded his tongue by one of his fingers when Luke started moaning for more, almost getting up from the bed from desire.

Raphael kissed him when the second finger entered, muffling his cry of pain.

His mouth tasted weird but Luke didn't let it go.

Raphael took his penis in his mouth when the third finger went inside.

Luke wasn't sure if he wanted to ask for more or for him to stop, but as seconds passed he found himself waiting for the minute when Raphael would end his preparation and simply get on with it.

Luke was licking Raphael's fingers, which had left his nipple, when the fourth finger went on, but the cry that let his mouth was more of pleasure than of pain.

Raphael stopped his work, probably noticing that Luke was very close to coming, taking off his hand, which elated a groan from Luke, and coming to kiss him.

"Are you ready?"

Luke nodded, "do you want me to roll over?"

Raphael shook his head, making eye contact with him, "no, I want to watch you come."

Luke groaned in response and Raphael smirked before putting on of his legs on his waist and the other on his shoulder. Luke couldn't believe he was still that elastic.

The first push was the more painful one, and Raphael didn't move for several minutes until Luke decided that he couldn't get used to it if it didn't move, nodding.

Raphael took it slow and Luke was reaching for his cock with his right hand when Raphael stopped him, "no, you will not touch."

Luke just nodded in answer, quickly forgetting what the other man had said with waves of pleasure.

The pain was now mostly gone and the movements had gotten quicker.

"Come. Come for me," Raphael murmured at his ear and it was all that took to push Luke over the edge.

He came screaming Raphael's name, with the other man following some seconds after, kissing his neck and Luke really should be concerned he had a vampire doing that, but just couldn't care.

They panted for a while until finally Raphael came out and felt on top of him with a groan.

Luke didn't mind, embracing Raphael. It made him feel secure.

Raphael licked his neck and torso until Luke dragged him for a kiss.

They kissed until Luke yawned, making Raphael laugh and put his head on the other's shoulder.

Luke passed his fingers through Raphael's hair until he murmured, "we should get in the covers."

Luke made an agreement sound but didn't move.

Suddenly Raphael was looking at him with a smirk; and eyes so brown that they glowed in the dark.

"So, was I right or wrong?"

"Hm?"

"I guess I was right," Raphael said and put his head back on Luke's shoulder.

They were already under the cover when Luke finally understood that Raphael had been talking about what he had said about making him only able to make noises.

He felt asleep with a smile, not really minding having been proven wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

This is where my imaginative parts begin, so if you have quesions just ask. This idea has been bugging me for months, so it has like become second canon to me, sometimes even more. There's also more sex ... I used to be innocent, I swear ! Anyway, if you have any doubts just ask, and just continue to read :)

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**Chapter 4**

Luke woke up slowly, moving his arms around, and yawning before finally opening his eyes. To which he found Raphael's amused look on him.

He didn't do anything for a second, and then he rubbed his eyes with his hands, because shouldn't Raphael be on the hotel, or wherever he went, when the sun rose?

Raphael laughed, "yes, I'm really here. I've covered the windows."

He said and Luke looked around. It was true, no gleam of sunlight was in the room, and Luke could only see the man because of the werewolf condition.

"So, you're staying here?"

Raphael nodded lazily, "yes, I'll go back when the sun's down."

Luke nodded and deciding to enjoy this, the best that he could, put his head on the other's shoulder, and his right hand on the other's waist, bringing him closer.

"Then let's go back to sleep."

"You're reading my thoughts," Raphael murmured, and Luke could hear a contentment in his voice that made him smile.

Later he would have to wake up and call Clary, but for now he was going to enjoy the other's body against his.

.

This time when Luke woke, Raphael was still sleeping, which was normal, since the sun was up, and from what he had heard, the sun called for the Son of the Night like the Moon called for him.

Luke used the bathroom and then left to find the kitchen. He wanted to make Raphael breakfast but that wouldn't make sense, since not only didn't he need to, but he didn't seem to enjoy mundi food too much. Bringing him blood really wasn't something he felt like doing.

So he ate by himself a piece of chocolate cake that he had found in the fridge, making him smile the whole time. Raphael had brought him cake.

He felt satisfied when he went back to the room and retrieved his phone from his jeans, leaving to call Clary without the other man even breathing. Literally, Raphael didn't breathe while sleeping, and Luke had to control himself to not poke him to make sure he was alive.

He wasn't breathing and he looked so at peace that Luke only believed that he wasn't really dead when he moved around, sighing contently.

In the living room he called Clary, and the phone rang five times before the girl finally answered.

"Luke, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to say that I may not be around until later, and for you not to worry."

She was silent for a second, "oh, pack business, or," she coughed, "the guy?" She said with a tone that clearly said it wasn't a word she had ever thought of using while talking with him.

Luke thought about lying, but what if she came looking for him? It would be more problems that anything else, "I'm with… the guy, yeah."

"Oh," she said but there was nothing more than her normal voice in it, if maybe a bit surprise, "well, then I guess I'll see you later. Bye and… have fun."

"Bye," he said and then hung up.

He got back to the bed and once again stayed looking at Raphael until he finally moved. He wasn't breathing and it wasn't like Luke could go see if he had a pulse.

Raphael didn't wake up with all the staring so Luke decided to explore his body.

The nights they had spent together had been few and even if things had never been rushed, he had never really taken the time to look over the Latino's body.

He pushed the sheet until it rested on the other's hips. Raphael was naked, as Luke was, since for some reason he hadn't yet decided to get dressed. His body was the same color as his face, brownish; clearly because of his nationality than because of the time he spent in the sun.

Luke had problems thinking of the vampire as a normal human being and doing something as mundane as taking a sun bath.

Deciding to leave these thoughts behind he kept looking at Raphael's torso. He had scars, which was surprising to Luke, since with a vampire's ability to heal it would take something pretty rough cuts to become a scar. They were clear, which made him think they were old. They didn't look like battle wounds, more like burning ones and even… and this was the weirder, like they had been made purposely by a knife. And then he noted; they weren't simple scars, they were words. His breath got caught; somebody had written on Raphael with a knife, so many times that they would be there for eternity.

He crouched on the floor while he looked more clearly to the scars, trying to make sense of the words. He couldn't understand most of it, since all were written in different languages, like Italian, German and even mandarin.

He found the only in English right over his heart, noticing that it wasn't just one, but a joint. A sentence. _This is for him,_ it said and Luke looked at it until the words had been recorded on his brain.

What was for who? The scars? It didn't make any sense, and before Luke knew he was sitting in the floor looking at Raphael's torso, but without really seeing him; thoughts twirling in his mind, making him want to stop it.

Suddenly he got up, deciding to see how far this scars went, chastising himself for not noticing them earlier. Now that he knew of their existence, he couldn't not see them. He closed his eyes and all he could see was Raphael, proud Raphael, with clothes on him. And then Raphael without his shirt, looking lost and hurt like Luke had never seen him and never wanted to. He knew the images his mind was producing weren't real, but he couldn't erase them. A Raphael that could be hurt wasn't something he wanted to believe in.

He hadn't known Raphael for very long, but he knew him by reputation. There were rumors about a future fight between him and his chief of clan, Camille, who had been gone for weeks, and how he would win, because he was the strongest, even if he wasn't the oldest. And then the ones that were murmured, like they weren't something people should talk about. Rumors about death, imprisonment and torture.

He hadn't known what to think of them then, but now… Had he killed the person who had done this to him? A vampire?

And imprisonment… he looked at the other's arms.

Warlocks and vampires had their own system of justice, Raphael had told him some days before, and Luke had gone to look for more about it. He found out that they had their own Council, one that decided how long one would spend in prison for the crime committed. They could go from ten years to fifty, to one hundred, to five hundred and even to eternity.

He had heard that there were some prisoners who had been there for more than a thousand years, and Luke had wondered why not kill them. If they were so bad then they certainly didn't deserve to live, right?

It had been a young Faery to answer to this. To the immortal beings death wasn't a punishment, it was a release. So no matter how horrible the crime was, nobody was ever sentenced to death.

Luke hadn't been sure if he agreed with it or not, unfortunately saying this thought out loud, to which the Faery, Ginevre, had said, "that is why their Council is only made of Immortal beings. You, werewolves, humans and Shadowhunters would never understand that being immortal is not as good as it sounds, that sometimes we want to take our immortality; especially if we get to live without our loved ones."

Luke had nodded, thanked her for the information and left. But not before the Faery had told him that to stop the prisoners from escaping, symbols were tattooed on their arms, symbols that would never fade but that would lose their meaning once the convict was released.

Now those symbols were staring at him; because he knew those were the symbols Ginevre had talked about.

There were two on each arm, one up and one down, just a few centimeters from the wrist. To Luke they didn't mean anything; they were just a bunch of lines painted in mostly golden and black.

Raphael had other otter tattoos on his arms, there was a snake surrounding his left wrist and that ended on his thumb, and how had he never noticed this? There was 'fuck you' written on the inside of the other wrist, which he kept looking at for a long time. Raphael had never the sort of guy that tattooed things like that, but it wasn't like he could discuss with what was right there, now could he?

There was one last design that he could see, some lines that were on his left shoulder, but it was obvious that for him to find the rest of it he would have to roll Raphael. Since he didn't want to wake up the other man he went back to the arms, noticing that there were different tones of skin color.

When he realized why that was, he got up, run to the bathroom and threw up.

His skin had been ripped and grown again. Somebody had burned him, cut him and even tear his skin. He threw up again; what, he didn't know.

After washing up his face he left the bathroom to face Raphael's concerned look.

"What's wrong?"

Luke didn't know what to say; more precisely his mouth didn't seem to be able to say the words his brain was thinking, _what did they do to you? Who did this? I am so sorry._

Instead he just stood there, in all his naked glory, until Raphael got up and went to hold him.

"Shh," the other man said when his head felt on the other's shoulder and Luke had to fight not to cry for the first time in years. He should be the one holding Raphael, but why would he? Those wounds had been made years before, they probably didn't hurt anymore. They were just a memory.

Raphael didn't let go of him until they were sitting on the bed.

"Did something happen? Did Clary's mother…?" He didn't finish the question, but he didn't need to. Luke quickly shook his head.

"Then what-?"

"You're gorgeous," Luke murmured, and then looked at the other's eyes, which were surprised, concerned at confused at the compliment, "you are the most beautiful man I have ever met, and nothing will ever change that."

Raphael was looking more confuse at each passing second.

Without knowing what to say Luke moved his eyes to his torso. Raphael didn't need to look down to understand what he was saying, and a cold went to his eyes.

"Finally found the scars, ahm? My body made you throw up?" He asked with such coldness that it took some minutes for Luke to understand what he had just said, "I disgust you so much?"

Luke looked at him shocked, "what? No!" He took the other's face in his hands, who was tense and still looking cold, making Luke feel like he would never be able to get thought the other's defenses. "Your body does not disgust me. You are beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, hot, and whatever word you can think of. But never disgusting, or horrible. Never! What made me throw up was the idea of somebody hurting you like that," he said, murmuring after, "torturing you."

They stood staring each other in the eyes until Raphael suddenly pressed his forehead on Luke's.

Luke could still feel him tense, but it was going away with every passing minute.

"It was a long time ago," Raphael finally said, slow like he was choosing every word thoughtfully; or maybe it just hurt too much, "I couldn't do anything to stop her. She had me for six months but I could swear it was six years, or maybe even more. She blamed me for her husband's death, my maker, and she was making me pay."

Luke didn't say anything, not knowing if the other man was planning on telling him more or not.

After a few minutes of silence Raphael continued, this time with a stronger voice, "she went to prison, and she hasn't left. And won't for another few centuries. Vampires did not take kindly to one of them being tortured so. Even the warlocks were against diminishing her sentence for less than five hundred years."

Luke nodded, but seeing that the other man had his eyes closed, Luke thought about saying how he had heard him. How he understood him. But was there a lie bigger than that?

He had never suffered the horrors of torture; even is first transformation couldn't be called torture. It had hurt but now he barely remembered, and certainly not like a memory of torture.

Raphael was breathing now and let go of a huff when Luke suddenly pushed him back on the bed and kissed him for all that he was worth.

He didn't kiss him just to make him forget those memories; mostly to stop from saying how sorry he was. _I am sorry that you had to go through that. You didn't deserve it. Nobody deserves something like that. She deserves to burn in hell. I am so sorry._

He felt like the other man knew what he was trying not to say when he pushed back, making their bodies touch and their kiss heat.

Luke wanted to take it easy; to make love, but Raphael was pushing strongly against him, like strength was the only way to make bad things go away.

Luke decided that he wouldn't let the other man in charge; that he would love Raphael's body like it deserved.

He let go of the other's mouth, letting his lips fall on his neck. He kissed the entirety of the other's neck, feeling the scar that had probably transformed him, but also other lines surrounding his neck. Like a barbed wire had been wrapped in it for a long time, or maybe just several times.

He kissed it until Raphael stopped being so tense, and then he passed to his torso.

He wanted to kiss Raphael's arms, to show him that his body didn't disgust him, because it didn't. It really didn't. He had been talking the truth; he had thrown up because somebody had done that to him, not because of the scars. But kissing it… he knew that he wouldn't be able to continue, because the idea that somebody had cut his skin off… He wasn't sure if he would throw up again or transform. Any disgust that he felt for the injuries was starting to transform into hate for that woman.

He sucked Raphael's scar over his heart, and when the other moaned his thoughts of hate and scars finally went away. This was about making Raphael feel good, not about his anger.

He kissed every word, or licked, not going near his nipples, which were getting harder by second, going down until finally he engulfed the other's member.

Raphael's moan made him want to get inside him; to make him break and then pick him up piece by piece.

He pushed his mouth back, and looked up to Raphael, who was looking at him sweaty and with eyes dark from lust.

"I want to make love to you," Luke murmured, not trusting his voice to not break or show his jitters at the other's answer if he talked any louder.

When Raphael finally nodded, it was slow, but Luke didn't know if it was because he wasn't sure if he wanted it or because he wanted it so badly.

He chose to believe it was the later and went lower, this time only kissing a bit of skin on his way down.

When he reached the other's entrance, Raphael was laid on the bed and pushed his legs farther for Luke, who thought of licking one of his fingers and pushing in.

Instead he decided to push with his tongue. It wasn't something he had ever done before, and it wasn't really something he was enjoying, since it tasted weird and he couldn't forget what he was doing, but he remembered how good it had made him feel and he wanted Raphael to experience the same.

He pushed one finger up and took his tongue off when Raphael was arching of the bed, and he decided to kiss him, wanting to swallow all his noises.

He kissed him while he pushed another finger, and then went to his nipples.

He had a hand on the right nipple and was licking the other when he entered another finger.

He bit Raphael when he put another digit, and suddenly Raphael was forcing him up by his chin. Even aroused Raphael was still damn strong.

He smirked, "yo estoy harto disto. Tiempo para mostrar quién es el jefe."

Luke didn't understand anything the darker man said, but suddenly he was being pushed on his back and Raphael was straddling his hips.

He wanted to change their positions but Raphael didn't give him the chance, suddenly dropping on top of him.

He didn't know which one of them moaned more when Luke got inside the other man.

He was glad Raphael was moving his hips because the first feeling of being inside the other man had been so strong that he had felt like not moving for a long time.

Raphael was kissing him when he finally put his hands on the other's hips and started rocking at the same time as the other man.

Luke put one hand on Raphael's cock, making him come after only five strokes, coming right after him.

Raphael pushed back and felt on top of him, and once again Luke didn't mind the weight, trying to bring the other man closer.

Raphael was good for him and he didn't want to give him back. To lose him.

He didn't love him but he could feel like it was something easy to do, like breathing and waking up every day. A casual thing; something he didn't even think about.

Luke had always thought that when you realized you were in love with somebody that it came from nowhere. With Jocelyn it had been when he was ten and they had been studying. She was helping him with Greek, and all he could think was how her hair smelled great. Then he had realized that he only loved her as a friend when they had been at one of her exhibitions and when asked if they were married and the answer had been no. He hadn't felt anything more than a light amusement, for always being asked this.

Realizing he loved Clary had been simpler. She had been sleeping at his house for the first time and he had gone to her bedroom five times during the night to make sure she was breathing, or covered up. The thought of how Jocelyn would kill him if anything happened to her had only appeared the first time. The second and all the others were because he kept remembering how much life would suck without the little girl.

They were both still a big part of his life; would never stop being as far as he was concerned but sometimes he missed having something else. Now that it was obvious Jocelyn would never be the one he was starting to question if Raphael could be it.

True, it wouldn't be a normal relationship, but what was normal in them?

He hugged Raphael strongly, to which he actually purred.

Yes, falling in love with Raphael would be easy. _Maybe I already am and I just don't know it. Maybe I'll wake up later today and be struck with the thought that I love him. _He found that he didn't find this disturbing. Not one bit.


	5. Chapter 5

Another chapter, yay, I rule ! This if for you, DrVamp, for your awesome reviews, and for making me carry on. Honestly, I already know how to finish this, know I just need the inspiration to write it ...

Unfortunatly, Raphael and Luke have their first disagreement here, but you know, it had to come. Just, read and review :)

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Luke woke up feeling rested and relaxed like he hadn't in months, if he was honest to himself. Raphael was gone, and the curtains were open, showing the moon outside.

He couldn't believe he had slept for basically an entire day. He wanted to feel bad for just leaving Clary and the pack like that but he couldn't. He had enjoyed this time; needed it even, and now there was nothing that he could do to erase it. Something he did not want to do, anyway.

This time when he got out of bed he went for a shower, standing under the hot water for more than he should have, until his fingers had those little wrinkles on the edges.

He got dressed with the same clothes he had brought the day before for the dinner, feeling like the last time he had gotten dressed had been years before. He felt changed, but to what, he wasn't sure.

In the kitchen he found rests of the lasagna, more than half of it in truth, and he ate it all. He was a werewolf; he needed to get his energy from somewhere. Not to mention that his body was spent. No pun intended.

He wasn't sure if he would be able to keep up with Raphael for much longer. He stopped eating. Did he even want to continue this 'thing'? Yes, he did. And not just the sex, Raphael was good to him, and right now he wanted something good. Someone that he could turn on in the hard moments, but also be there for them. Jocelyn hadn't needed him for that in years and Clary was growing up. Not to mention that she had Simon. Even if the two didn't work out, which if he was honest he didn't believe they would, their relationship would always be special.

They could change countries and they would still be there for each other. Just thinking of the phone bill he would have to pay if Simon moved away made him cringe.

He finished eating and then washed the dishes. He thought about making the bed, but what for? It definitely needed changing.

He grabbed his things and left the room, while checking his phone for messages. There was only one from Cam, asking where he was.

'Sorry, been taking care of some personal things,' he texted her, not wanting to call her. She would definitely realize that the truth wasn't exactly what he was saying.

The bill had been paid, which he was actually happy since he didn't believe he would be able to handle the look the woman at the desk had been sending him. A bit of wonder, lust and jealousy. Maybe she had been the one to attend to Raphael.

He chose not to dwell on it and left the hotel, looking around while he did it. The last times he had been there he had been too caught up on his thoughts or too busy thinking about getting on Raphael's pants, that he hadn't really taken the time to look around.

And now that he did…

The hotel was certainly nice, and he didn't see any teenagers with bags on their shoulders, just well dressed men and women. The entrance was big and all made of limestone, with a fountain in the middle. The hotel room had also been nice, now that he thought about it, much better than the ones he usually stayed on while traveling.

How much had Raphael spent? He didn't like to be on a debt, and it wasn't like he thought Raphael had felt forced to it, at least not that he was aware, but still… He decided that next time they went out he would pay.

It didn't take him long from the hotel to his house on the bike, and when he got there he found all the lights out.

He found this a bit strange, but maybe Clary was with Simon. Nonetheless he didn't feel preoccupied, so he went in and turned on the TV.

He had slept the entire day, so now the last thing on his mind was going to bed. Not to mention that he didn't really feel like opening his bedroom to only find his bed.

Damn it. It was like Raphael was a drug. He had tasted him once and now he couldn't wait until the next time. Well, at least he wasn't the one spending all the money, he thought, smirking.

He hadn't made jokes in his mind in a long time. For the last month the only thoughts on his head had been about Jocelyn, Valentine, Clary, the pack, the Institute and so much more that his head hurt.

But for now, a couple of hours after the last time he had tasted his 'drug' he felt like those troubles were years away. Right now they didn't matter, and he was going to enjoy the feeling, because if there was one thing he had learned over the years was that things didn't stay good for long. There were bad moments that got between them, for what, he didn't know. To put the universe in balance? The good and bad, yin and yang?

Enjoy the good moments until the bad arrived had been the first lesson he had learned when he was transformed; never having really appreciated the good life he had taken until then. The second one was, good moments don't just come, you make them.

He felt like he was creating a new chapter in his life, and for once it was a good one.

.

He was woken up by the front door closing with a bang and sudden sobs. He was up so fast he almost fell on his way towards the door.

Clary was on the floor holding her knees to her chest, and with her head on top of it. All he could see from her face was red hair.

He sat beside her and pulled her towards him. She fought in the beginning but then she was embracing him with strength, like he would go away if she didn't.

He didn't know for how long he patted her hair and made 'shh' sounds, but suddenly the sobs had stopped and Clary was losing her hold.

Still he didn't let go when she tried to back away. He had no idea what could have provoked this, but he knew it must be serious.

Clary wasn't the sort of person to breakdown for nothing. The last time he had seen her like this had been years before, when Jocelyn had been in a car accident. It hadn't been very serious, now a very distant memory, but at the moment he remembered how Clary had been. Saying how things would go without her mother, how much he hadn't told her, how she couldn't go without her saying goodbye.

This felt much worse.

"What is it?" He murmured, not wanting the noise of his voice to upset her.

"Si… Simon," she sobbed while she talked and Luke had to strain his ears to understand her, "he… he was… he's… vampire," she started crying again and he hugged her.

Simon had been attacked by a vampire? That was… he didn't know what to say. Simon was… He had known Simon for almost as long as Clary, and true, they never had that close relation, but he had been a friend. He knew his favorite dish, movie, music, had been to his digs, as few as they were, and now him being dead…

He had been so preoccupied with Clary, with how things could end badly for her that he hadn't thought about Simon. At least Clary had Shadowhunter blood, Simon was just a mundi. What could he do against demons?

"I just… Raphael appeared and Jace and Izzie, they didn't want it but… I couldn't let him die!" Clary said and only with the exclamation at the end of her sentence did the words she had said finally enter his head.

Wait, Raphael? Couldn't let him die?

"So… what happened?" He asked, not breaking his voice, even thought all he wanted was to get Clary and himself in a bed and sleep.

Clary's voice sounded strong, nothing like it had sounded just five minutes before, "Izzie called Jace, the Faerie Queen had asked for a meeting, so we went, 'cause, you know, you don't really say no to the Faerie Queen. Anyway, when we left I didn't realize that Simon was gone until it was too late. I was at the Institute when suddenly somebody rang the bell," she stopped for breathing, probably to stop the tears from falling from her eyes, if the brightness in her eyes were any indication, and then with a deep breath she continued, "Raphael was there and he had a body on his arms. Simon. He said that he was dead, but that if we buried him he would be reborn as a vampire. Jace and Izzie… they didn't want to, but they don't know him, they don't even like him! Not like I do… I couldn't lose him, so I said yes to Raphael and we went to this grave yard and buried him. Raphael didn't let me help him get up and suddenly Simon was there, but not really. I mean, he wasn't Simon. He was… he looked like an animal, he didn't recognize me and Raphael had to push him off, or else… or else he would have eaten me. And then he was drinking blood…" She didn't cry, just stopped talking and he hugged her, trying to make sense of what she had just told him.

Simon wasn't dead, was the first thing that registered. The second thing was that he wasn't dead in the traditional sense, but that technically he was. He was a vampire. Simon was a vampire. Finally the words about Raphael being there finally entered his mind.

Had Raphael transformed Simon? Or had he just been there? Had he… participated?

His mind didn't know what to think. His heart screamed that Raphael would never hurt Simon, but his brain knew better. He was a vampire, it was who he was, and until this moment Luke hadn't realized exactly what that meant.

When he looked at Clary again she had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder. He should take her to bed; he knew he should, but… Right now she needed this, so he decided to accept the pain that his back would feel the next day and pressed his head against the door, closing his eyes.

He had to resume counting sheep to fall asleep, because his mind couldn't let go of Raphael and Simon.

.

He woke up with the sound of a mixer and Clary curses.

She wasn't really a person of cursing, or at least not around him, so he decided to see what was happening.

In the kitchen he found Clary all dirty with flour over her clothes and hair, and broken eggs, sugar, flour and milk everywhere.

Clary was like him, she could cook, or at least enough not to die of hunger, but just chose not to. And just like him, when she did decide to cook normally it was to take her mind off something. He didn't have to think much to know what that was.

He should stop her and finish whatever she was doing, so that she could go to bed, something she desperately needed, but instead he went and put the CD player on.

He put on "Californication" from Red Hot Chili Peppers, and heard Clary laughing when she heard the song.

She had never really liked them, but if there was one thing he had loved about moving to New York had been the discovery of these amazing bands.

He started cleaning the kitchen while she finally finished mixing the mixture, and then when to put in small portions on a pan. So pancakes where what she was doing.

He had had a feeling it would be that; it was a recipe Jocelyn had taught her when she was ten, and since then she had been doing them by herself whenever she felt like it. Sometimes because she felt like eating them, or simply because she was bored. He thought that today she was doing it because it was familiar, something to remember her of Jocelyn and even of Simon, who had always appeared for pancakes whenever he knew they had been made.

When she was done and he had put the table, with a bottle of chocolate and another of sweet they ate in silence.

Each of them ate a big number of pancakes and in the end only a couple where left. They stood there sitting and just looking at it for some minutes.

Finally, Luke looked over at Clary. There were tears running through her eyes and he put his hand on top of hers.

"Clary-"

"Don't, just… I'm okay, I am, I just… I need some time," then she got up and went to her room.

He leaned back and put his hands on his lap. He felt like if he got up he would throw everything that was on the table to the floor. It was what he felt like doing. Hit stuff, destroy something; forget everything.

But that wasn't a good plan, since Clary would come running to see where the sound had come from and would realize he was having some sort of breakdown. He couldn't have one, at least not one that she could see. Right now she needed a rock, someone who was there for her, and obviously it wouldn't be Simon.

He knew he needed to leave and go see the pack, but he couldn't leave Clary. So he did something that he should have done months before: the spring cleaning.

He increased the volume of the CD and started working.

Clary had come out in the middle of it and started laughing when she saw him with one of those ridiculous purple things with feathers on, cleaning the closets in the kitchen while whistling.

She had joined him and by lunch time the kitchen and the living room where clean.

Then they both cooked, pasta with sausage and lots of sauce, and ate in silence, but this time, a comfortable one.

In that moment he finally understood that things would never be the same again. Simon would never be human, would never grow old. And Clary, even if Jocelyn woke up, wouldn't just forget these last months and go back to her old life.

He ate more to stop from saying something to her. She was a Shadowhunter, he had known this forever, and when Jocelyn had told him what she had been doing to stop her from seeing the Shadows world he hadn't agreed with her, had felt like this was Clary's life and she couldn't just chose what she could and couldn't see.

But he had accepted her decision and as years passed and he had heard more and more about fights between werewolves and vampires, Shadowhunters and demons; about death, he had started thinking that maybe, just maybe, Clary could go on with living her life as a normal mundi.

Of course he should have known better, the moment Clary realized she didn't have all her memories she wouldn't let it go until she found them. And she wouldn't stop for anything.

He felt like screaming at her for it, sometimes, and others he wanted to hug her and tell her he would be there for her always.

Right now he wasn't sure what of those options he should do, but screaming after yesterday's events didn't seem like the right choice.

So he kept quiet and changed to a Green Day CD and they went and cleaned the rest of the house.

When the sun came down Luke already had his phone in his hand and was sitting in his bed.

After they had finished cleaning, Clary had gone to her room and hadn't left. He wanted to go in there and talk to her, but he knew that right now she needed to be by herself.

So instead he had gotten his mobile phone and was waiting. He didn't know if he was waiting to make the call or to get one.

He wanted Raphael to call him and to explain, but he wasn't sure if that was going to happen. After all, Raphael didn't own him anything. Why should he have to explain himself?

He put his phone on the bedside table and put his head on his knees. In and out. In and out. Just focus on your breathing and forget everything. In and out.

When the phone started ringing, a couple minutes after he had started his relaxing exercises, he almost jumped out of bed.

He had opened the phone and pushed the green button before he could even think.

"Luke, hello," Raphael said and he exhaled. If for relief or simply because he was hearing the other's voice he wasn't sure.

"Raphael," he started but didn't continue. What was he supposed to say? What did he _want _to say?

They were silent for some seconds until Raphael sighed.

"I am sure you have heard of how your stepdaughter's friend has become a vampire."

Luke nodded, and when he realized the other couldn't see him, murmured, "yeah. Wait, stepdaughter?" He said more strongly when Raphael's words finally registered, "me and Jocelyn aren't married."

Raphael laughed, but it didn't seem very real, "I don't think it really matters if you're married to her or not. You raised her, no? That makes her your daughter."

Luke didn't say anything in response. What was he supposed to say?

"But it wasn't to talk about your marriage or not marriage that I called. I think we should meet. I'm sure you have a lot of questions," Raphael said and he could hear an accent on his voice.

"Yeah, okay," Luke said without thinking. But even if he had had two hours to think of his answer, he was sure it wouldn't change.

"Okay, then I'll see you in half an hour," he said and then gave him an address.

"What's that?"

"It's my house," Raphael said and then hung up.

Luke stared at the phone until he realized that if he didn't start driving right now he would be late.

He didn't bother to get other clothes; he didn't believe that they would come off until he got back.

He thought about just leaving, but what if Clary needed him.

He knocked. No answer, so he knocked again. Still no answer, so he opened the door.

Clary was painting.

"Clary," he called and she looked at him. "I'm going out but I don't think I'll take long. So call a pizza if you want."

She nodded and he left. Later they would talk.

He took his bike and started driving.

He didn't even know that Raphael had a house, or at least, one that he didn't share with the other vampires. He didn't really believe the other man had asked him to meet at their place. Not so much that he didn't believe Raphael didn't trust him but more that the vampires wouldn't be exactly happy with his presence, not to mention curious.

He had no problem with coming clear about his relationship but as he kept driving and thinking about Simon, he wondered if there even would be a relationship to talk about after tonight.

He concentrated on the driving, trying to make those thoughts go away, but his doubts kept coming up.

Not only about their relationship but also about Simon. What if Raphael had drank his blood? And why had he taken him to the Institute?

When he arrived there was so much noise inside his head that he had to put his head in his hands for some seconds until he was sure he could leave the bike and not fall down.

He looked around. It was a nice neighborhood and the house that he was staring at was big. Bigger than he expected, if he was honest to himself. It was in good state, painted white and with no windows in the second floor.

Before his hands reached the door bell, the door opened and Raphael was standing there.

He was wearing a sleeveless black shirt with Gene Simmons tongue pointing at him, jeans and sneakers. He had never seen the other man look so relaxed.

"Come on in," Raphael said and turned around, not looking to see if Luke was following or not.

Luke entered the house and closed the door behind him, noting how the other man hadn't kissed him hello like he had two days before.

Raphael was sitting in a sofa for one person with a cigarette on his hand, so Luke went and sat at the sofa in front of him.

He looked around while Raphael smoked. The living room was opened towards the dining room and a kitchen. Both looked very modern but like nobody had step foot on it for awhile. There was a bar in a corner, equipped with three banks and lots of drinks. The room was clear of anything else if not for the two sofas, a TV and a stereo, which was big and something he would assume was more for parties than for everyday.

"So," Raphael said, bringing him back to reality, "ask away."

Luke opened his mouth and closed it three times before finally deciding what question to ask first, "did you drink from Simon?"

"No, I did not, but my vampires did."

"They only drank his blood? Then who changed him?"

"I did." Luke felt ready to question but Raphael continued, "when Clary and Jace went to save him he bit me and drank my blood. It was a small quantity and if no vampire had drunken his blood he wouldn't have transformed. Unfortunately my blood called and he went."

"And your vampires drank from him," Luke couldn't stop the accusatory tone that went into his voice.

"Yes, they did."

"It's against law to drink from a human."

Raphael laughed, "it's against what Shadowhunters decide is law. Not mine. And he's alive, or you know, as alive as a vampire is."

"He didn't deserve it," Luke said before he could think, and words kept falling from his mouth. Words he would regret saying the second they were out, "you shouldn't have transformed him. He didn't deserve this. He-"

Raphael was suddenly up and right in front of him. Luke had never seen him this angry and at this moment he understood all the rumors about him.

"He didn't deserve to be a vampire?" He spit at him, "so what, he's too good to be a vampire? A monster?"

"No, that isn't what-"

"Yes, it was! You're still a Nephilin, no matter how much you try to hide it. Still as prejudiced as all of them. Oh, no, it isn't that. You just think that he should have become a werewolf. Anything but a vampire."

Luke got up, "no! Raphael, that wasn't what I meant. I meant-"

"What did you mean? Pray tell, because I don't think I understand."

"I…" Luke went quiet. Maybe that had been what he had meant. Simon had always been a good boy; he didn't deserve to never see the sun again and to feel drawn to blood.

"The boy came to us. I could have let him die, I almost did, but I knew that he was a friend of your girl and that if he died it would hurt her, and by consequence you," Raphael said it all in a normal and quiet voice, but Luke felt like there were knives being put inside of him. "You are nothing but a hypocrite. You are the chief of a werewolf pack, but you still do not accept yourself. Don't accept that Shadowhunters and humans aren't the only ones walking around Earth. Let me tell you something," Raphael said right in front of him. Luke was the taller but right then it seemed like he was looking up to Raphael from the floor. "Being a vampire is not the worst that can happen. And especially not how it happened to him. He won't even remember anything. And if you were a good friend then you would make him see the good of his new life and not make him hate himself."

Luke didn't know what to say and once again opened and closed his mouth with no sound coming out.

Raphael exhaled and walked a few steps back.

"Leave and don't ever come back or you'll regret it."

Luke wanted to stay and say that he didn't believe his threat, but in that moment he wasn't sure if it really was a pointless threat.

Raphael had gone to get a drink and he could see how his body was tense. Because of him, of what he had said.

He left without a word.

He hadn't been inside the house for even twenty minutes so he didn't drive straight home. He needed… He needed to be alone; to think.

He stopped in front of the river, but didn't step out of the bike.

Was Raphael right? Was he a hypocrite?

He had never cared about a pack until he had needed one and then he hadn't asked the wolves if they wanted or not to follow him, because they didn't have a choice. But that didn't mean that he shouldn't have asked.

And Simon… Simon was a vampire and he should accept it and as the friend he was, he should try to make him understand his new form and accept himself.

Instead he had gone to his maker, because Raphael was his maker in the end, and basically said that being a vampire was a curse.

He had seen the pain in Raphael's entire body when he had said that the way Simon had been transformed wasn't the worse. He remembered how Raphael had told him it had taken him a while to accept himself. How it would have been so much easier with people behind him and helping him. How he didn't forgive his maker.

It was obvious that Raphael hadn't had an easy transformation and that it had taken him a while to finally accept who he was.

And now, Luke, the man who had shared his bed the last week and shared stories, had told him that his friend didn't deserve to be a vampire. Like it was a punishment.

Luke felt like throwing up. Why had he said that? He should have never gone to Raphael until the news about Simon transformation had entered his mind and registered. And now it was too late.

"_Mine is not letting people escape, because there'll come a day when you'll hope you hadn't, and it will be too late."_

He laughed at the words his mind reproduced. Raphael had been the best thing to happen to him in the last month and he had blown it.

He laughed more, to stop the tears.

He felt so bad; he just wanted to go to bed, but before he wanted to get smashed and forget this entire evening.

But he wouldn't. He would stay here for a couple minutes more and then he would go home, eat with Clary and act like everything was alright. Even if it felt like his body was shattering into a thousand pieces.


	6. Chapter 6

You know what I should be doing ? Studying History. But no, I just had to publish something for you ... Also, one thing that I'm horrible at is going around the subject, which means that I'm not writing five chapters where they're not together and they're heart broken ... that's shit, sorry, but it is, and it's not how I roll. Anyway, as we move on the characters may seem a bit OOC, but I did my best.

Also, I have to write, like three or four more chapters to finish this freacking thing, so make me work ! This doesn't mean the story only has more four chapters, I already have ten more written :)

Now, enjoy, review and I'm gonna go study German !

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**Chapter 6**

The next day Luke talked with Clary about Simon and he felt like he had helped her. At least, she was starting to accept what had happened to her best friend better.

He concentrated harder in the pack, spending more time with them and resolving issues that he had let get forgotten. He knew his pack had noted his change but none said anything. Not even Cam, and normally whatever that woman thought came out of her mouth.

He had taken several baths before going to them and he knew that the only thing they would smell coming from him would be his soap. Well, that and his worry. And sadness.

About that Cam had made questions, but mostly she had believed his answers about being concerned about Jocelyn, Clary and Simon. Cam had nodded and putting her hand on top of his had said that she was there for him.

She was married so he knew that she wasn't coming on to him, but in that moment he would have preferred that she had a crush on him and not that she honestly wanted to help him. He didn't deserve her kindness; he didn't deserve any of their kindness.

He had tried calling Raphael only once and when the other hadn't answered had left him a message saying he was sorry for what he had said. He hadn't said anything else because he wasn't sure what to say.

Five minutes later he had received a message saying, 'forget it and me'.

He felt bad and he knew that Clary was starting to notice but she hadn't said anything. He didn't know if it was because she wanted to give him space or because she had so much in her mind.

When Simon went to visit Clary he went shopping, to see if thinking about what the house needed would take his mind out of Raphael.

He had tried and kept trying to forget about the other man but truth was he didn't want to. But he had to. This wasn't some romantic comedy and Raphael wasn't one of those stupid girls who forgave everything just because they didn't want to stay single for much longer. If Raphael told him to leave then he meant it. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Make him a serenade or give him presents wouldn't accomplish anything more than a punch in the face, he was sure.

So instead everyday he got up and tried to take his mind out of him.

It was something that young people didn't understand. They thought that love was forever or that forgetting someone was impossible. It was hard, there was no doubt about, but not impossible.

Normally people just continued in love even if not reciprocated because they wanted. Luke had never left Jocelyn, had stayed besides her no matter what, and his love for her had only increased until finally he had realized that it was going nowhere and that he deserved more.

Jocelyn was an amazing woman and would always be a big part of his life but he wanted, and deserved, more.

He tried to concentrate on his driving when suddenly he saw Maia. And something following her.

"Maia!" He screamed but it was too late. The thing, demon most likely, had already thrown her to the ground.

Without thinking about it he accelerated and run it over.

Before the van had completely stopped he was already out and running towards the girl.

He woke her up and then led her inside, where he asked Clary and Simon, who had gone out to see what the noise was all about, to get her a blanket and a wet towel.

"Maia, are you okay?" He asked slowly and calmly.

She nodded but quickly stopped. Probably had a headache.

"Yeah, I think so. I was just crossing the lawn when suddenly I smell this horrible smell and I turn around. Next thing I know I'm being hit," she said it all with a spent and tired voice.

"Yeah, I saw it. I tried to warn you but it was already too late."

"What was it?" Clary asked.

"A _Drevak _demon. They're blind and they orient themselves by smell. I accelerated and run him over."

"Why did it attack Maia?" Clary asked. "Do you think that it was Valentine? Maybe he's looking for werewolf blood. Last time he was interrupted…"

"I don't think so," Luke said and could see her surprised look, "_Drevak _demons don't drink blood and they couldn't cause the carnage you saw in the Silent City. They're mostly spies and messengers. I believe that it was an accident; Maia was simply in their way," he leaned forward to examine her, "could you please roll up the sleeve?"

She did as he asked, biting her lip, and then they could all see the cut under her shoulder. It seemed to be surrounded by black needles. Clary shrieked when she saw it and Maia became horrified.

"What are these things?"

"_Drevak _demons don't possess teeth on their mouth, instead venomous spines. I'm going to take them out one by one. Do you think you can handle it?"

Maia seemed ready to scream 'no!' but she swallowed her fear, like he knew she would, and nodded.

"Just pluck them… fast," she told him and he was starting on the first one when Simon appeared with a blanket on his arms.

"Pluck what? _What_ is that?" He asked, letting the blanket fall on the floor.

"Does blood scary you, mundi?" Maia asked, not smelling him. But she would, sooner or later, and then they would have to have a talk. "Oh, that hurts," she told him losing the smile.

"I know," he said, rolling the towel around her arm and then taking a knife of thin section of his belt. Maia looked at it, and for a moment he thought she would back off and tell him to just put her out, but once again she swallowed and nodded. "Do what you have to do. But I don't want them watching."

"I understand," Luke said and turned to the two teens, which were looking at Maia's arm like it was alien, which for them, it probably was. "Go to the kitchen and call the Institute. Tell them what happened and ask them to send somebody. They obviously can't ask the Silent Brothers, so it's preferable that they send somebody with medical practice or a warlock. Go!" He said when they still didn't move.

They quickly hurried away and he started working on Maia's arm.

He didn't want to do this, but he knew that it would only do her worse if he didn't so he cut her skin. For a moment all he could see was Raphael's arm but he was brought back by Maia's scream.

He breathed several times and kept going. If he stopped now all this would be for nothing. She was strong, stronger than she even knew. She could handle it.

It was just some minutes untill he was done but he knew that to Maia had seemed much more. She was stretched on the coach and he decided to give her a few moments.

"I'm going outside to take the van out of the pavement before the neighbors call the police."

She nodded and closed her eyes.

He could hear her heart beating, so he left her.

He parked the van and then left, hoping that whoever the Institute was sending didn't take much longer.

He had done the best he could but some of the thorns had broken, which meant that the poison was already inside her.

Suddenly he could smell something and he turned around, moving his hand towards his belt, but the knife wasn't there. It was still besides the coffee table.

The last thing he thought was that it wasn't doing much inside.

.

He was awaken by people arguing, and Clary's voice.

"That's enough, Jace! No more talk about it."

"No more talk about what?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Luke!" Clary exclaimed and went running towards him, stopping just a few feet, probably knowing that hugging him wasn't the best thing to do with his body in its current state. "Do you remember what happened?"

He tried to concentrate on the moments after he had parked the van, "not very well. I just remember parking the van and then smelling something horrible. I turned around and got hit on the shoulder and I must have passed out. Next thing I know I'm hearing five people shouting. What were you arguing about?"

"Nothing!" Five people answered him in unison and he couldn't stop his eyebrows from going up.

"I see," was all he said. He was curious but right now he felt too tired. He just wanted to fall asleep and forget about this whole day, days, even.

The five teens, or at least, the four teens and Magnus, all stood there awkwardly until he announced that since Maia was sleeping on his room he would sleep on the sofa.

"You can sleep on my bed," Clary said but he refused.

"The sofa is more than okay. Really," he reassured her, noting how she didn't really believe him. "But some sheets and blankets would do me some good," he smiled at her and rolling her eyes she went to do as he had asked.

He noted how Jace followed her but kept quiet.

Alec said some words to Magnus, and then left.

Simon kept looking towards the place where Clary and Jace had disappeared to, finally deciding to follow them. Luke didn't believe that he would come back very happy.

"Do you mind if I stay for a bit longer? Just to make sure that Maia is okay, and even you. That was a pretty strong blow you took."

Luke nodded, but was stopped from saying anything by Simon, who passed the living room and went outside without saying anything but clearly angry. Or maybe disappointed. Luke was too tired to make sense of the other's smelling.

Clary followed him, with tears on her eyes, he noted, and then Jace appeared.

Without asking he went to the piano, which was leaning in one corner, and started playing.

Luke wanted to tell him to stop but the music was starting to relax him and he felt like sleep would take over soon. So he decided to let his mind concentrate on the music and soon it was the only thing he could hear.

.

He woke up when the music stopped, never having really fallen asleep, more like he was in a trance, and looked around.

Jace was gone, as was Magnus, to where he didn't know.

He moved his pillow a bit and closed his eyes, only to open them a few seconds after when he heard a bike.

Then there were voices, and his heart jumped when he realized he knew those voices. Jace and… Raphael. But what were those two discussing?

He got up, slowly, and went to the window.

"It's weird," Raphael was saying, "I thought that now that you've fallen in disgrace and aren't the favorite son of the Clave your attitude would be different. But, apparently, you're still the same."

"I believe in being consistent with myself," answered Jace. "Can I borrow the bike or not? There's only a few hours left until the sun is up."

Raphael smirked at him, "does that mean you won't give me a ride home?" But still backed away from the bike.

"No way," Jace told him, riding the bike, "but, if you're restless because of the sun you could always sleep on the basement of the house."

"Right," Raphael murmured and looked over. Their eyes met for a second and then he turned back on Jace. "Are we now even, as to Simon, Shadowhunter?"

Jace turned his bike towards the river, "we'll never be even, vampire, but it's a start," and then he was gone.

Raphael didn't disappear immediately, instead looking again at Luke.

Luke kept waiting for the other man to leave but he never did so he went and opened the door.

Raphael looked him over with scrunched eyebrows, "what happened?"

He didn't sound exactly worried, but his hand was moving besides him.

"I got attacked by a demon."

Raphael took a second to continue, and he did this in a paused voice, "are you… okay?"

Luke nodded, "yes, it hurts a bit, but I'll be better in just a few hours. Werewolves heal quickly."

"Right," Raphael nodded and his body stopped and became tense. "Then, I guess I'll be going."

"Wait," Luke said when the other man turned around. Raphael stopped and moved his head so that he could see him. "I… I'm sorry."

Raphael's mouth was set in a line and he knew that he was losing him. But if he didn't say this now he would never have the chance to say it.

"When I… when I said those horrible things, I didn't mean them. Okay, I did, but I didn't…" he knew he wasn't making any sense and Raphael wasn't finding it charming as he once may have. He drew a deep breath and started walking towards the other man. "I've known Simon for years, for as long as I've known Clary and he's almost like a son. So when Clary told me he had become a vampire… When I said he didn't deserve it I didn't mean like it only happened to bad people, like it was some kind of punishment. I just…"

"You just thought that it was unfair he had become a vampire with everything that's happening."

"Yeah, that's… wait, what? No!" He finally reached the other man but Raphael took a step backwards and Luke stopped. He was too tired to be playing that game.

"It takes us a while to accept what we've become, I know this better than most, but it also takes a while to accept others. Being a vampire isn't a punishment, I never thought that. I guess I just never thought that it would happen to somebody that I know."

Raphael didn't seem as tense, but he certainly didn't look relaxed.

"Tell him that. Talk to him about it, it will make him feel better. He probably also thought of you as a second father," Raphael told him and before he could fly away, Luke grabbed his arm.

"What about you? What can I say to make you feel better? To make you forgive me?" He murmured.

Raphael gave him a yellow smile, "this isn't about forgiveness. I know that you are sorry for the words you said, but I'm not sure if you regret feeling them."

Luke started talking but was stopped by Raphael's lips.

It couldn't be called a kiss; it was just an encounter by lips, but it still shut Luke up.

Raphael was looking at him with eyes so opened, emotions so at the surface that Luke didn't know what to say. He started reaching for him, but Raphael stopped him. He saw the exact moment the walls were back up and he was standing outside them.

"I forgive you but I won't be with somebody who doesn't accept himself."

"I-"

"No. You know you are a werewolf. But you do not think of yourself as a werewolf, just as a man that his forced to transform to a wolf once a month. I know this because I used to feel like that. That I was still human, that drinking blood and not being able to stand sun light was simple new things I had to learn to live with. It took me a while but I finally accepted myself as the vampire that I am."

Luke saw the truth in his eyes but he wouldn't accept the words.

"You're wrong. I know who I am."

"Oh, do you?" Raphael said but there was no mockery. The voice wasn't exactly curious, either, it was… It was interested in hearing Luke, he mused.

"I do. I won't say that I understand what it was to you, because I don't know your story but I know mine. Mine isn't cruel or a story filled with torture, it's just a man who got transformed into a werewolf. I didn't have a choice, but today I'm not sure that if I did had one, I would change it. These last few weeks, they've been… well, to say insane is an understanding. But they've also taught me. Before Jocelyn got into a coma I didn't transform more than once a month, mostly because I had no need to. I didn't have a pack and I didn't know any werewolf. But then I needed a pack to make sure Clary would stay safe and I did what I had to. I will always hate myself for killing that werewolf, somebody I don't even know the name, but I don't regret it. And now I have a pack, and I had no idea it could be so… so amazing."

Raphael was still looking at him and with renewed strength he continued, not actually thinking of the words he was saying. It was like all this had been hidden inside for so long that they just couldn't be kept there.

"The first pack I had was an accident, if you'll believe me. I killed the man who transformed me and only after, did they tell me that he was chief pack, which made _me_ chief pack. Sometimes I'm still not sure if those times weren't dreams," he said with a dreamy smile but quickly got back to reality, to Raphael's brown eyes. "But in that time things didn't seem right. The pack wasn't exactly fond of me and I wasn't fond of them. It would have never worked out; so I left. It was my best decision ever. I don't know why I went looking for Jocelyn. It wasn't just the fact that I loved her, even if that was what I told myself. I think that I was just lost. And in that time I didn't want to be found."

He stopped again, not just for breath but because the words that were leaving his mouth were actually going back to his brain. It wasn't that he couldn't believe them; it was more that he hadn't expected them. Only now was he knowing of his true feelings and now they couldn't stop.

"I even asked her to marry me. I told her I would raise her kid as if it was mine and that I would love her. She told me no, but I still stayed. I don't regret it, at least not always. Not when I'm with Clary and I think about how I could have missed all of that. But sometimes…" He sighed, he didn't want to go in there. "I just… Jocelyn never loved me back, but I didn't care. I stayed by her side always, and now… When she disappeared I knew right away what happened so I went to look for a pack, one that could protect Clary. They aren't the best. All of them have problems, but I still feel like they're my family."

He smiled at Raphael, but not watching what the other's reaction was. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"I know I'm a werewolf. Unfortunately it was the first thing I learnt when I became one. But maybe you're right; I didn't always see myself as one. But not anymore. I _am _a werewolf. I know that and it's okay. Because I like being a werewolf. Because… because if I wasn't a werewolf then I would have never met you.

"I don't love you. I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm just saying it as a fact. I don't love you, but I could."

"Why?" Raphael asked and at first Luke didn't even recognize his voice.

There was strength behind it, now that he noted. It was a strength that was always there. Raphael could be sad, happy, angry and it was still there. But right now he could also hear doubts in it.

"Why love me? Don't take this as me not having any self-esteem. I'm honestly curious. Why not stop this right now? I'm not a good man-"

"But you're not a bad one either."

Raphael laughed, "who gets to decide who is and isn't a bad man? Valentine has done horrible things but he's also Clary's father."

"That doesn't make him good."

"It doesn't. But it doesn't make you want to never have met him, does it? People aren't bad or good. They just are."

"Then how do you know you're not a good one?"

"Because it isn't who they are that makes them good or bad. It's what they do. And I don't do good stuff; hell, I don't want to do good stuff. I've killed humans and I'll probably do it again. I killed my maker in cold blood. If the woman who made these scars ever appears in front of me I will torture her very slowly. Every time I and my brother are together a war almost starts. And I have no problem with that."

Luke sighed, "I won't love you because you've killed humans or because you want to kill somebody who as caused you pain, or even just because. I'll love you because you're ironic, and smart, and fun to be with, and interesting. You're an enigma."

"I never liked enigmas."

"See? That's why I like you and I don't want to turn my back on this. Because instead of getting angry and yelling at me for calling you an enigma you just get a comeback."

Raphael rolled his eyes.

"And because you roll your eyes at the stupid things I say."

"You're a very weird man, Luke Garroway. And if you tell me that because of this sentence you could love me I will kill you."

Luke knew Raphael meant it as a jock, and that he was supposed to laugh. But then what? Would Raphael just leave and forget this talk?

"But it's the truth," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Raphael didn't say anything for some time.

"What do you want me to say? I'm too old for these games."

"Okay, first don't say that. You look younger than me and if I really start thinking about your age I'll just get confused," well, at least Raphael laughed. "Just say yes."

"Say yes to what? To a 'relationship with you'?" He didn't actually make quoting marks but Luke still felt like they were there.

"Why not?" Raphael started speaking but he didn't let him. "There was nothing I could do to make Jocelyn love me back and now I accept it. I'm not in love with her anymore, but sometimes I still wonder what if. I don't want to wonder with you. I want to know that what my mind is seeing aren't dreams but memories."

Raphael looked at him very seriously until suddenly he was smiling, "not even my speech to ask Angelica to marry me was that amazing. How could I say no?"

Luke smiled, but then… "wait, marry? Please don't tell me you're married."

"Don't worry, I'm not. We're divorced."

"Oh, good. I mean not good your marriage ended, but you know, good that you're not married. I mean-"

Raphael laughed and Luke sighed in relief.

And then they were kissing and all the words said before were kind of forgotten to his mind.

"As much as I would love to continue this I've got visitors."

Raphael arched an eyebrow, "visitors? Shouldn't you call them, I don't know, victims of a demon attack?"

"Hey, only Maia was attacked. Clary is fine and Magnus is here just to make sure we stay good."

"Okay, then. Call me when you're free, then."

And then he was walking away. Luke did too but was called by the other man and turned around.

"I will answer the phone, just so you know."

Luke felt like his face would crack into two if he didn't put the smile away.


	7. Chapter 7

This should have been posted a couple of days ago but I just sort of forgot and ... well, it's here now. Anyway, in the beggining I thought about writing all the events in "City of Ashes" from Luke's point of view but this fic isn't about that. Just, enjoy and review :) Also, if you don't like, just go away, it's not like you're being forced. And thanks for the ones that are leaving nice reviews :)

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**Chapter 7**

Luke looked at his living room and tried to decipher how it could still look the same as it had a few days before.

The Shadows world had changed so much but still the Earth kept spinning, the Sun shining and people kept on with their lives.

He made some coffee for himself and while drinking it kept looking at all the dirty dishes. It wasn't washing them that bothered him, he was fine with washing dishes, it was just that it was such a mundane task.

Clary had discovered that she had the power to create new runes, Simon could walk on sunlight, Maia had been attacked by Valentine, who was on the run and probably working on a plan to kill them all. And he had dishes to clean. It sounded so stupid.

But still he did it, mostly because this way he could pretend that one day things would go back to normal. Whatever that meant.

He looked at the clock. It was a quarter to four. In a couple of hours the sun would be down and he felt like calling Raphael.

They hadn't talked since the night they had made up (and really, that sounded ridiculous even in his mind. He was a grown man for crying out loud!), and he missed the other man. Not only that but he wanted somebody to just relax with. Forget these past few days.

Clary had gone to the hospital and then would go visit Simon, or maybe Jace, he wasn't sure, and would only be back later.

He knew she was scared about her newfound ability and he wanted to be there for her, but he felt so tired. Valentine should have been dead for the last sixteen years. He shouldn't have come back. But then again, he had never been gone in the first place.

He watched TV and when it was close to seven decided to call for a pizza but then his phone buzzed.

"Hello," he said, not really watching the caller ID.

"Luke, hello," a welcome voice and Luke felt himself relax as Raphael talked. Really, it was good to hear him, "I have heard some stories about a boat, a van floating in the river and a fight."

"And you obviously thought that I would be in the middle of it," Luke said but with no real intensity in his voice. He was amused.

"Not you, precisely, but your kid and the blondie? Definitely."

Luke laughed, "yes, this sort of stuff didn't use to happen before they met each other."

Raphael also gave a laugh on the other line, one free and full of joy, which only made Luke's smile grow. "You can tell me all about how Clary was as an innocent kid over dinner. What do you say?"

Like it usually happened when Raphael asked him for something, he didn't think before accepting.

"Good, you can come to my house. Do you remember where it is?"

"Yes," Luke said, remembering very well their last meeting at Raphael's house, "maybe we can make happier memories in it."

"And dirtier," Raphael replied and once again Luke laughed. "I will see you in half an hour."

Luke was about to ask if he needed to take anything but the other had already disconnected. He went to get better dressed, since he was wearing his weekend pants, which yes, were different from his normal ones, while thinking about how he felt much lighter after talking to Raphael.

He got dressed quickly, wearing jeans, sneakers and a white shirt, with a jacket on top of it, and left the house. Instead of going to his bike he went to his van, which he still needed to get used to.

Clary had mocked him earlier when they had gone to an old shop and he had bought the exact same model as the last one, and hadn't understood when he hadn't drove it perfectly the first time.

He had tried to explain how this one was different from the other and how it would take him a while to get used to it, but she had only laughed.

This time he did buy Raphael some flowers, even if it sounded a bit strange to buy a guy flowers, but hey, he liked receiving presents when he went out (which wasn't that often) and Raphael seemed to be a modern guy. For a guy who was a hundred years, that is.

Raphael's age was a topic he wanted to discuss with the other man. It wasn't that the other's age bothered him; he wasn't hypocrite to get into a fight because of something the other had no saying in, he was just curious.

The door was already opened when he arrived, so he entered, thinking that Raphael had heard him and simply opened it.

He could have sniffed the other, but since it was his house, his smell was everywhere, but it was much more simple to find the other man. Just follow the music.

To find Raphael in front of an oven, shaking his hips at the sound of… Had that man just said that 'the bitch came back'? Impo- Okay, the man was singing that.

He didn't announce his presence, instead keeping his eyes on Raphael, who kept dancing to the song.

He had to admit, Raphael was a damn good dancer. They had danced together before but this was different. Raphael was just so… lose, while dancing.

When the song was over he clapped, as awkward as it was with a bouquet on one hand.

Raphael turned around sharply, but only smiled. Luke thought it would take a bit more to get a scare out of the vampire.

Raphael gave him a little peck on the lips, but then went back for more. Luke smiled against the other's lips, not minding one bit.

He stopped when he started hearing somebody shouting 'faggot! Faggot! Faggot!' and looked around.

Raphael laughed, "it's a song."

Luke turned to the radio and sure enough the sound was coming from the little machine.

"For a guy with a hundred years, you have weird taste in music. Oh!" He said before Raphael could respond, presenting the other with the flowers, "this is for you."

"Who would have thought you were a gentleman?" Raphael said, grabbing the flowers and smelling them. Luke just rolled his eyes.

While he went to put the flowers in water, he turned around and asked Luke, "and what songs do you listen to?"

"Oh, I like Green Day, Oasis, the Rolling Stones. Things like that."

Raphael snorted, "I remember when those sort of bands started appearing. Were never really my type."

"Right, you prefer Marilyn Manson."

"I'm sure you just said the first the name that popped into your mind when you thought about people singing songs with swearing."

"I don't mind swearing, but this… You were dancing to a song called 'the bitch came back'."

"They could be talking about a female dog," Raphael said and Luke laughed, going behind the other man and getting his arms around his waist.

"If I paid attention to the song and not you, I'm sure I would find examples behind my theory."

"There is a part when he says that she's always breaking his balls."

Luke laughed in response, putting his head on Raphael's neck to muffle his noises.

The other man tensed and he felt the scars under his mouth, but instead of letting go, just kissed it gently, before turning the other around and kissing him passionately in the mouth.

They kept at it for some minutes, with Luke coming up for air every few seconds, until Raphael pushed him away.

"I need to take care of dinner."

"Lasagna again?"

Raphael arched an eyebrow, "bored already?"

"No, no, just asking."

"For your information, it's not lasagna," Luke must have made a surprised face because Raphael gave him a smirk, "I lied. I can cook other things."

"Just trying to keep my interest, ahm?"

The smile Raphael gave him made him think of a feline waiting for their prey. "Oh, I have other ways to keep your interest, don't worry."

Luke swallowed, not because he was scared, more because Raphael's words were making him hungry. And not for whatever Raphael was cooking.

He took a step forward, but Raphael went over to one closet and took a lane. "We can do that after eating. I'm sure you're hungry."

"Not for food," Luke said before he could stop himself.

Raphael laughed but still took the dish through a door, making a gesture with his free hand to make Luke go after him.

The dining room didn't seem to be covered in dust anymore and while he sat, he asked the other man if he had cleaned just for him.

"I'm a vampire. It doesn't take me that long to get something done."

"I thought that you would be saying 'I'm a vampire. Cleaning is beneath me'."

Raphael gave him a small smile, "if we let others do everything, soon it will stop having a meaning. Even cleaning."

"More people should think like that."

"Maybe. Or maybe they would take this too drastically and the world would lose all coordination. Even if there isn't that much already."

Luke decided to take things to the light side, not wanting to get into serious talks, "is that a thing of old people? Thinking that the world has problems?"

"Did you just call me old?" Raphael asked, but there was only amusement in his face.

"Well, you're older than me."

"I'm not a day over twenty four, thank you very much!" Raphael said with a dramatic expression and Luke laughed.

"At least you're legal."

Raphael was the one to laugh at that, "in this case I think you're the one illegal."

"Yeah, I can just imagine me trying to explain the case to the police. 'Officer, I've been attacked by a man who looks twenty four but is actually a hundred years! Please help me!'"

"You would be the one to go to prison, a mental one."

They both laughed and kept with the small talk while they ate. This time Raphael had made stroganoff and Luke told him more than once how good it was.

Raphael ate with him, putting blood in the food, but not in so large quantities and they both drank wine.

"You know," Luke started after finishing telling the other man about his last few days, "I told Clary a couple of days ago I was dating a man."

He wanted more than anything to look anywhere but at Raphael's eyes, but forced himself to keep looking into brown pools. There was surprise in there, curiosity and… was that pride? Contentment? He didn't know, but it was obvious he wasn't displeased by the news.

"Did she know you dated men?"

"No, but she was fine with it. A bit surprised, but cool. She believes in free love."

Raphael laughed, "I've always loved that sentence. I never really had a problem with gay people while a human, even if back then I never really thought about men, but it wasn't accepted and to think about starting petitions for marriage for two men or two women… It was illegal to marry a man of color, for crying out loud!"

"I guess times change, ahm?"

"They definitely do. But I have to admit that I was hoping they would change a bit faster."

"We can't have it all."

"Yes, I guess not," Raphael murmured and they went back to talking about Valentine.

This time they didn't talk about their different opinions on the matter, instead Luke told him about the Circle.

He found it funny how Raphael didn't show any emotion when he talked about Jocelyn. When he finished talking he kept staring and suddenly Raphael asked him what was wrong.

Not seeing why he shouldn't tell him the truth, Luke explained. "It's just… I've dated three werewolves during my life, and whenever I talked about her they would always get angry. Say how I needed to forget her and stuff. You just… seem to accept it."

"Why wouldn't I? You don't seem to love her anymore, at least not like you did, and I'm not forcing you to be with me. In my opinion people who are jealous of previous relationships are just afraid. If it's over, then it's over. Remember when I told you about my ex-wife? Angelica?"

Luke nodded.

"I was her thirty-sixth husband, and that's just the ones she remembers," Luke's eyebrows went up. "For mortals it sounds weird, but we're vampires. We accept that things change over the years."

"Like you and her?"

"Yes. I moved to New York and the love and passion started dying. We ended it before things got ugly. Now we're good friends and she'll always hold a place in my heart. Like my first ex-wife, except that one did end up ugly."

Luke decided not to ask why, Raphael didn't look happy talking about her, "how many wives have you had?"

"Only Gabriela and Angelica. You were never married, I presume."

"No," Luke answered and they went and talked about other things.

Maybe Raphael was right. He wasn't married anymore, and Raphael didn't really seem like the sort of guy who just ended a marriage because. Luke didn't even think about what that meant for them. Like the Latino man had said: if it's over, it's over. 'Enjoy it while you can', Luke thought but not sadly, like he thought their relationship had an expiration date. Simply like he accepted that everything ends, and you better make the best of it while you can.

Luke ate ice cream for dessert, while Raphael drank a glass of blood, with Luke trying very hard not to look at the other's lips. Then they took the plates to the kitchen and before Raphael could go back to the room to retrieve the glasses, Luke pushed him against the counter.

Raphael kissed him just as hungrily and Luke grabbed his legs, making the other sit on top of the stand.

Their hands went over every piece of skin they could find and clothes started to disappear.

Luke didn't think about how they should really get to a bed, instead getting Raphael lying down on top of the counter, making kitchen's instruments fall of it.

Raphael laughed against him but none of them made any movement towards getting them from the floor.

Luke kissed the other's chest, noticing the scars against his lips, because now that he knew of their existence he couldn't forget, but didn't give them any special attention. Obviously it was a part of Raphael's past that the other didn't like, so he wouldn't push.

He got the Latino out of his jeans and boxers and put his mouth around the other's member, not stopping until the other came with moans and his name.

When he went up for air Raphael used that moment to get him off him. Luke was surprised until the other man fell on his knees and all rational thought left his mind.

He made himself open his eyes, which insisted on closing, and look at the other's mop of hair, only getting harder at the vision of the other on his knees.

When it was over Luke still had his shirt on and Raphael was completely naked.

"I'll show you my room."

"Again? I know I'm a werewolf, but I'm not superman."

Raphael laughed, "to sleep."

"Oh," Luke nodded and gave him a smile. "Lead the way."

Raphael clasped their hands and dragged him to the upstairs floor, with their clothes still lying on the floor, alongside kitchen instruments.

He led him through the first door after they reached the end.

Raphael let go off him at the door, and went to what he presumed was the bathroom. Water started running to prove him right and he looked around, while taking off his shirt, feeling bad wearing only a shirt and no pants.

The walls were all painted in white, or at least used to be. There were drawings on them, not in paper pasted to the wall, but actual lines drawn with a pen in the walls. The drawings didn't make sense, being more colors thrown everywhere and words and risks than anything.

There was nothing hanging on the walls, but he saw a few photographs in frames on top of a desk. There was one of what he assumed to be one of his weddings. Raphael was in a tuxedo and or his hair was really short or it was caught in a ponytail. But it was the woman that gave it away. She was beautiful, was the first word that went into his mind, with her black hair falling in waves, and clear make up. She wasn't wearing a white dress, but a purple one with black risks. Still, she was wearing a bouquet and they were showing their hands with maxing rings. Luke smiled at the happy expression on the couple's face.

The older that he could see had that white and black texture but seemed to be much older than just forty of fifty years. There was an older couple and three kids in front of them. With surprise Luke noticed Raphael, who was probably fifteen when the photo had been taken.

The three kids looked very alike, especially Raphael's younger brother, who seemed like a younger version of the other man.

He wanted to look more and try to decipher Raphael as a young man, looking as gorgeous as ever, but more juvenile, more innocent, but decided that soon Raphael would be out of the shower and he wanted to get in there with the other man.

He went in and hugged Raphael, then kissing him.

They helped in washing each over, which was a bit awkward at first since Luke had only shared a shower one time before, but they made it work and afterwards it was hard to get towels since their lips didn't seem to be able to let go.

Raphael gave him boxers, putting one as well, and then they went to bed.

Luke felt happy and he could swear he heard a purr coming out of the other's mouth before he rolled around.

Luke fell over the other, kissing his shoulder and then closed his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

There are some changes of canon, obviously so, again, if you have doubts just ask. Also, OC's !

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The days until Clary had to leave to Alicante passed in a hurry, with Luke getting more and more worried as the days went by. He wanted more than anything to accompany the other girl, but it just wasn't possible. At least she would be with the Lightwoods. He may not always get on with them but he knew they would do their best to make sure she would be safe.

He had been two times to Raphael's house and while there, had been able to relax, even if not totally forget his worries. Raphael commented on it, but never with malice, and was there to listen.

So Luke tried to forget his panic and help Clary, buying her whatever she needed for the trip and helping her to know what to say and where to go.

He had never heard about Ragnor Fell before but if Madeline said he was safe, then he probably was.

He hadn't met her, since she was in the Institute and Luke felt no reason to go there, but he remembered her when they were younger. She had never wanted to be a part of the Circle and Jocelyn wouldn't have trusted her without reason.

The moment he went to park the van and left Clary out of his sight he knew something wasn't right.

He didn't even park the van properly, not caring about possible tickets, before he was out of the door, running towards the Institute.

He found Magnus and with only a couple of words out of the other's mouth he was running towards the smoke and the smell of blood.

He saw Madeline's body but couldn't feel any sentiment for her, only seeing Clary creating a Portal.

He didn't think about how amazing it was that she could create a Portal, only about how she could die if she passed it.

He told her this but she just shook her head and went through it the moment Luke got a hold of her arm.

He could let go, but then she would still be going, and alone, so he went with her.

When they landed he didn't have to think about where they were, since he was wet and there was only one lake in Idris and he knew immediately that if he didn't get the water out of Clary, she would die.

When she finally came to herself all the fear he had felt washed away to give way to anger. She had been so reckless! He couldn't think about how Jocelyn would have probably done the same thing, he just felt like Clary needed a good shake.

He felt irritated and maybe later he would regret lashing over on her and calling her a child who had made a tantrum, but on that moment he didn't care.

They started walking and he told her about Lake Lynn, not because he had forgiven her, not by a long shot, but she needed to know.

He knew he had to take her somewhere safe, there was still some water inside her, he was sure, but to who? His old pack probably still lived close to the city, but it was too far to take her, not to mention that they probably couldn't do anything to help her. But maybe…

He hadn't seen his sister in years, and sometimes he felt regret over it but he couldn't forget the disgust in her face, and the sadness that had caused him.

Still, if it was the only way to save Clary, then he would do it.

He looked at the other girl, looking more and more feverish as minutes passed, and started to lead her towards Amatis house.

He knew that Clary would feel abandoned if he left, but he needed to go talk to his old pack. There was a war about to start, he was sure, and everybody was needed to help.

He knew he would find rejections from both parties, but they just weren't thinking. Fighting each other wasn't a priority any more. Stopping Valentine without any more bloodbaths was.

He barely talked to Amatis before he was gone, telling her about Jocelyn's coma and Valentine, but not addressing their problems and then left. He was sure she wouldn't throw Clary away, if only because she owed him and they both knew it.

He transformed to his wolf form and started running towards the boarder, and then going by smell. By sundown he had found them.

His phone rang right before he entered their camping site, since they did have houses, but more often than not, lived on the outside, and he saw Raphael's name.

He cancelled the phone call, knowing the other man would know he couldn't take the call.

He entered the camping and suddenly there were three werewolves in front of him, with the rest of them looking his way.

Many were new and he didn't know them, even if not young, but there were some that he remembered and obviously remembered him as well, looking surprised.

Only Marcia and Benedict, twins, came to greet him.

They gave quick hugs and then Marcia smiled, "you know why none of them is coming to see you, right? Because if you're here then something serious is going on," she said, not giving him time to answer.

He nodded. At least he knew he would be treated seriously.

"I wish to speak with the chief. Don't worry, you can be there as well," he said at the three werewolves, one woman and two men.

"He'll be happy to see you, I'm sure. It's Claudius."

Luke raised his eyebrows, "really? Since when?"

"Marcus was killed just a couple of weeks after you left by Frederico, who was killed by Ivan, who was killed by Claudius. That was four years ago, if I'm not mistaken."

"Five, actually," another voice said and Luke looked towards the entrance of the biggest tent, where a man about his age, but with less grey hair, and blue eyes, stood smirking at him.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" He asked and Luke nodded, while getting closer to him.

He could sense the werewolves around him getting tense, but they stopped when Claudius gave him a radiant smile and hugged him.

Their hug was longer and fiercer than the one he had shared with the twins, and he smiled back at the other man.

"What brings you here?" Claudius asked, skipping the pleasantries.

Luke looked at the other werewolves, "there's something I have to tell you. All of you."

"Then talk," Claudius said but not with rudeness.

Luke tried to organize his thoughts before he opened his mouth and then started by telling them about how Valentine was back.

There were some whispers at that but nothing that made his voice get forgotten. The whispers grew in intensity and quantity when he arrived to the boat, but only when he told them how Valentine was planning something and how they needed to help did they finally erupt into shouting and insults.

The insults weren't for him, but for Shadow hunters and they were screaming words very similar as the ones he had heard from Raphael a few days before.

"They never helped us! Why should we help them?"

"They would rather die than fight alongside us!"

"We shouldn't help them! Let them taste their own poison!"

"Valentine is one of them, let them deal with him!"

He didn't do anything to stop the shouting, for one because it wasn't his pack and it would seem disrespectful to the pack chief if he yelled to his pack, causing problems that he neither had the patience nor the time to deal with. The second reason was that he knew they needed to get their piece. Better here than alongside the Nephilim, who would scream right back at them.

Finally Claudius told them to shut it, in a very civilized voice, Luke noted, and they did.

Well, werewolves didn't remain chiefs without respect from their fellow pack members, but some fear as well.

"Luke," he said, making him come back to reality, "why should we help them? They're right, they haven't done anything for us, they don't deserve our help and I'm sure they don't want it."

"If we don't help they'll be exterminate. And who do you think Valentine will come after?" He knew that trying to make them see that it was the right thing to do and that the Shadow hunters would change their opinion, wouldn't change them. "He will come after us, all of us, and then what? We'll have to deal with him _and _with demons."

There was silence for some seconds but then a blond werewolf screamed, "he can come and get us!" and was applauded by the rest.

Claudius shook his head, and Luke wasn't sure if his words were for him alone or for all, but still they all went silence to hear their chief. "They're right; Nephilins don't deserve our help. Whoever, you're also right. Valentine will come after us the moment he's killed them, maybe even before. So, we will help," noise started rising but he talked louder, not really screaming, but clearly saying that they should listen, "we will help but things won't go back as they were. It's time for Shadow hunters to change."

The werewolves all nodded and only the older ones were still shaking their heads. Luke knew that by this moment they were just happy because they would get to fight.

"I'm gonna call my pack in New York, do you think you could call the packs you know?"

Claudius nodded and Luke retired himself.

He made plans with Cam, who then would call Magnus, and then called other packs that he had come to knew as years passed.

It was a good thing he had loaded his phone with battery and money before leaving New York, because he spent almost five hours on the phone before things started working his way.

He was glad the pack lived far enough that phones actually worked, because the idea of running to one side of the country to the other to explain the situation wouldn't have been easier. Even if explaining things by phone wasn't either.

"Won't you call the Faeries? Or the others?" A werewolf a couple years older, that he didn't know, asked him.

"The Faeries won't help if I explain things by phone. But I've called a warlock friend who's taking care of it, as well as contacting other warlocks."

"And _vampires_?" The man asked, with such venom on the word that others werewolves' attention was brought to them.

Luke wasn't sure what to tell them. He could call Raphael, but he didn't know how that would go. A bit was because he was worried how this turn of events would make an impact in their relationship, but mostly he just wasn't sure if he would receive help from the other man. And it wasn't like he knew other vampires to call.

"I think it's obvious we need to call them," Claudius said, "not to mention that you know Faeries won't fight without them."

Luke nodded but a younger werewolf, about Clary's age, asked why that was, clearly not knowing much about their world yet.

"Faeries take the bloodsucker's opinions in consideration when it comes to war," an older werewolf said. "Because vampires are old creatures they believe they are a wise people," he snorted. "They're just too coward to make a move and Faeries hide behind it."

Luke wasn't sure what to say in response, while the werewolves around him nodded and laughed, and was luckily saved by Claudius.

"Even so, we need to talk to them. I'll make a few calls. Do you know any vampire, Luke?"

Luke nodded, "yeah, the chief-" wait, Raphael was second in command, "the second in command of the New York clan," he corrected.

Claudius nodded, "good, their chief has always maintained a good relationship with werewolves."

Luke nodded and went to make the call, making his heart rate continue at his normal speed. If he seemed nervous around here or if the werewolves realized what his true relationship to Raphael was, things wouldn't end well.

It wasn't so much because he was a man, he thought. A human when becoming a werewolf gained more sexual hormones, at least in the first few years, and sometimes if the warmer body around was a male one, then they went for it.

But being a vampire… well, it may be better if they didn't find out, until this was over.

It was a good thing Raphael didn't seem to be the sort who liked using pet names, instead answering with a simple hello. It was a warm one, but he was away enough that the werewolves wouldn't hear the tone. But they would hear the words, he knew.

"Raphael, hello," he said, trying to make the other understand that somebody was listening in and that this was serious. "I've arrived in Idris and there are rumors of Valentine trying something in Alicante. The werewolves are going to help and we have already contacted the warlocks and Faeries."

Luke didn't know how to express his request but he was sure it wasn't needed. Raphael wasn't stupid; he would understand what he was saying.

"I need to call Camille. When will this attack occur?" He counted it as a win that Raphael hadn't simply screamed at him that the Shadow hunters deserved it.

"We don't know, but I'm sure it won't take long."

"Very well. I'll call you later today or tomorrow. Goodbye," he said and disconnected.

Luke put the phone in his pants and went back to the werewolves.

"That was easy," Marcia told him. "Claudius is still on the phone and I'm pretty sure that I heard some name calling."

"Raphael is only second in command, so he'll have to talk to the chief."

Marcia nodded. "Do you think they'll help?"

Luke wanted to nod, because he wanted to believe that Raphael had changed, but he wasn't sure.

"I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait and see."

Marcia looked at the fire when she answered, "I think we'll be doing a lot of that in the future."

The werewolves started passing the Portal to get to them just an hour before the demons entered the city which was lucky, not only because this way they could help and Luke wouldn't be thought as mad if an attack never happened, but also they didn't have to find food for them.

He fought alongside other werewolves, sometimes knowing who they were and others not, noticing how there were some warlocks around, but no Faeries or vampires.

Luke went to Amatis house that night, knowing that at least the werewolves all knew he was telling the truth and that they would help. If the Shadowhunters let them, of course, but one battle at a time.

He tried calling Raphael twice, but the other man never picked up, so he decided to let go. Or he was busy or he didn't want to talk to him. Luke thought that it was one of those things that he rather not wonder about.

Every day he went to try to put some sense on the Nephilim's heads but it wasn't easy, and it took a lot of him to not just give out. Now he understood why Raphael had been so adamant about not wanting to help.

Then Valentine appeared and he was remembered of why he was doing this and not giving up. To kill the man but also so that the Shadows world could get together and surpass their differences in order to save the world, because with Valentine's plans that was what they would be doing.

There was just so much happening and he felt so tired. Jace was gone with his plan to kill Valentine, which as much as he disagreed, knew was a good idea in the end, the vampires hadn't said anything to him (he was trying not to feel angry at Raphael, but it was hard) while the Faeries were getting there to help.

If the bloody gate was opened, of course.

The day after, when they were supposed to give their answer to Valentine, there were thousands of warlocks, werewolves and faeries. Not a vampire in sight. He had to admit that it wasn't really unexpected. But he knew those weren't all the population of the Shadows world. There were many more, they just hadn't come. And as the Clave gave their decision he understood perfectly why they hadn't come.

Instead of trashing around and calling them all possible names like he wanted to, he simply sat down. Did they have any idea what they were doing? Maybe Raphael was right and when they were all killed, vampires, werewolves and all the others would be able to kill them.

"That's right, I _am_ Valentine's daughter." He head Clary and he looked up, trying to decipher her words, which to his tired ears, weren't making much sense.

"She's grown so much," he heard behind him and he didn't have to look to know who was there.

"Joce!" He said, using her old nickname and hugging her.

She gave a laugh and hugged him back.

"Thank you for being there for her."

"Of course," he answered, still not letting go of her, and then they smiled at each other.

He wasn't sure how long they would have stayed like that if there hadn't been gasps all around him. He looked and saw Raphael, but why?

"Stephen," he heard and looked at his sister, who was looking at Clary like… like she used to look at Stephen.

But why was she seeing him? Was Clary showing them dead people? Technically Raphael was dead but that didn't make any sense. Why would she invent a Rune to do that?

Once again he looked at Raphael, who looked the same as he had the last time he had laid his eyes on him. People around them kept gasping and he looked around.

He saw the Lightwoods holding each other, with unshed tears in their eyes, while Alec looked from Magnus to Clary and back again.

He looked at Jocelyn, who was also looking at Clary, but she didn't seem to be reacting in a strange way.

He looked at Amatis, who looked so defeated, and he wondered exactly what was the Rune showing them.

She must have seen his confused look for she said, "she made us see the person we loved the most in the world."

He looked shocked at Clary, who had once again returned to her normal form.

He had always believed he would find out he loved the vampire in a moment of… well, luck or something, but never like this. He still couldn't believe. Raphael was the person he loved the most in the whole world.

He felt like passing out, or cry or laugh, so instead he forced himself to return his attention to Clary, who was still talking.

A rune that could join Shadow hunters and inhabitants of the Shadow World. Would that work? Would it be accepted?

He looked at the Shadow hunters, not the ones that seemed to agree with her, but the ones who were shaking their heads and he left the room.

Raphael was right. They had the chance to win and they wouldn't. The possibility of them accepting Clary's rune was big, but it would be the ones that were connected to a magical creature that would convince them, just like it would be those creatures that would ask the ones that were ready to leave Alicante to help.

If Clary wasn't there, if this was another girl, another family, would he be here? He wanted to believe he would have come from free will, but he wasn't stupid. If these last few months hadn't happened, then he would still be only changing once a month, not having a pack to call family.

He looked at the gate, which was getting emptier as seconds passed, and suddenly saw some Shadow hunters running towards them. They were all young but at least they had the decency to go ask them themselves, and not him or Clary.

He knew he would fight, probably with Jocelyn, but he had to ask himself what for.

He was angry. Not just with Valentine or with the other Shadowhunters, but with the whole Shadow world, maybe even the entire world. How could people let things get this far? How could they forget about the problems that needed their help, and only be concerned about their differences?

He shook his head and saw Clary talking with Jocelyn. He didn't even think of joining them, this was their time. He was sure Clary was angry with her and that they had a lot to talk about so he simply laid his head in his knees. Then a thought occurred him.

Would the vampires come? Would Raphael?

If Raphael was there would he have seen him in Clary, like he had Raphael? He thought that maybe it was best if he didn't know.

He looked at the two females, who were just holding each other and decided to go to them, since he wasn't sure if Clary already knew that it had worked. At least, he didn't believe the Shadow hunters had been running to get the rest of the ones who stayed to leave.

They went inside and she showed them the Rune. Jocelyn and him quickly accepted to be their guinea pigs, and smiled at each other while putting the Rune in each other.

When they were done Clary smiled at him and said, "I was right. You look much better now."

The ones around them gave them a confused look, but he smiled back at her. Yes, not being in love with Jocelyn and being able to enjoy their friendship like they hadn't in years was great.

Then Clary moved to go do something, probably find Simon who had disappeared some minutes before, and he could see a face that he knew very well.

Raphael.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't have an excuse for the time it took me to post this. I just haven't been inspired ... I blame it on Supernatural and Teen Wolf. They've stolen me. But anyway, here is chapter 9, let's see if I'll post chapter 10 as well. Enjoy it :)

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**Chapter 9**

When Luke went to get closer to Raphael, he saw Jocelyn following him and then Clary going to them, and he tried to remember that he was being watched. Even if all that he wanted to do was to run and hug Raphael. Or maybe punch him. He hadn't decided yet.

"Raphael!" He exclaimed, when they were close enough that they could talk.

The smile he gave the other man wasn't corresponded and that made him look more clearly at him.

That wasn't the only thing that was off about the Latino man.

His entire body looked tired. There were serious dark circles under his eyes, and the brown eyes, which were bloodshot, looked… sad. Sad, confused, angry and even with hate in them.

That was another thing that was off about Raphael. His emotions were too open. Luke didn't believe for one second that the reason he could read the other man so well was because he was close to him. No, Raphael wasn't hiding them, and he didn't know why.

"I didn't think you would come. The Children of the Night have reconsidered and decided to join us in our fight against Valentine?" Luke said, knowing that if he kept quiet for much longer, other words, words that weren't supposed to be uttered in public, would start coming out. "There's still a place in the Council for you." He extended his hand towards the other man.

There was sadness in Raphael's eyes, "I can't shake your hand, werewolf."

Luke was shocked and quickly drew back and Raphael gave a sad laugh. Everything about the man in front of him was sad.

"I'm a projected image. I can't touch anything."

"But…" Luke was starting to get confused and, if he was willing to admit, a bit scared. What was going on? "Why…?" He shook his head, "anyway, I'm glad you're here."

"Yes," Raphael passed a hand through his hair, and when it was done he seemed to have regained some of his composure. There were no more easy emotions to read on his eyes, even if there was an aura of sadness around him. "We only have a small request to make. If it is fulfilled then a lot of Children of the Night will come to fight alongside you."

"Yes, a place in the Council, of course-" Luke started, because there was nothing else he thought Raphael would ask.

"No," Raphael seemed ready to swallow again, but didn't do it, "It's something else. We want Simon, the Daylight."

Luke was shocked and didn't know what to say, but luckily Jocelyn didn't seem to be in the same position and quickly made her disagreement to that.

"No way. I can't believe you would ask something like that."

"And I can't believe you're refusing. It's such a small thing," Raphael said and then drew a deep breath.

"It isn't a thing!" Clary said, "We're talking about Simon… a person."

"A vampire," there was no more shakiness in the other's gestures. "A detail you keep forgetting."

"Aren't you a vampire too? Are you saying your life isn't worth nothing?"

There was anger in the brown eyes. "My life is very precious. But that isn't the point. Simon is a vampire, consequently, he belongs to us, and I'm asking you to give him back."

"You can't have him back," Clary said, scandalized and only then did Luke realize that he hadn't said anything yet, and that he probably should. "Firstly because you never had him. And also because you only cared about him after you found out that sunlight didn't affect him."

"That is not the point. If you do not give us Simon, then the Children of the Night will not fight in this battle."

"Then don't," Luke said with strength and anger in his voice, "we are not Valentine. We will not buy your cooperation in exchange of an innocent life."

Raphael looked at him and this time he couldn't make sense of the emotions there. Or maybe he just didn't care enough to try and decipher them.

"Very well. When you fall over dead in the plains ask yourself if one life was worth so many," and then he was gone.

Luke didn't know what to do, so he just turned around and walked away.

None of the redheads tried to stop him, and when he was outside he was suddenly running.

He didn't know when he transformed, but when he stopped he was standing in front of a puddle and staring back at him was a wolf.

He looked at his reflection and tried to find himself in the animal's face.

Those blue eyes staring at him couldn't be his. They looked so old. And… resigned.

He wanted to lie down, but he knew that the moment he let himself get down then he wouldn't get back on his feet, or paws, whatever.

He turned around and started running again.

The Rune on his wrist wasn't hurting but he was still aware of it. It wasn't even the fight that he was concerned with. It would be hard and there was a chance he wouldn't survive it, but what about afterwards? What if he did survive?

Raphael and him were over, that was for sure, and this wasn't like their last fight. He would never be able to forgive Raphael. Not just because he had asked for Simon's life, but because he was making him doubt himself. Was a life worth so many? If he didn't know Simon, would he have done it? No, but he would have gone to get him and tell him about it. He was sure Simon would go if he knew, but he wasn't going to tell. Because it was Simon and he couldn't let Simon die.

_But you can let sixteen and eighteen years olds die. Maia, Lisbeth, Sonia-_

He forced himself to stop. Maybe if the vampires were fighting so many people wouldn't die, because he was sure a lot would, but he would have never accepted Raphael's proposal.

If he had then he would never forgive himself. Valentine would have done it, especially since Simon was a vampire and not a Shadowhunter, and he prided himself on having established a difference between them over the years.

He went back to look for Jocelyn and found Shadowhunters with faeries, werewolves and warlocks. The absence of vampires was clear, but it didn't seem to be making anybody run away.

He found her sitting in the floor and he did the same.

They didn't touch, just kept looking ahead.

"You know, when I was in coma, I was still there. It was like I was sleeping but I was still aware of things around me. Of voices," she said.

He went tense at that but tried to maintain an appearance of calm.

"So you know about…?" He didn't know how to end his question. Just say 'Raphael and me' sounded strange and anything along the lines of 'relationship' was even worse.

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

He gave a laugh, "for what? It's obvious it would have never ended in anything."

She nodded but didn't say anything.

Still he didn't stop talking. Until this moment he had never realized how much he wanted to share this, and just talking to Jocelyn while she couldn't answer hadn't been enough.

"When we first went out it was unexpected but it felt good. Simple. It wasn't that I was just tired of being alone. I mean, there was that, sure, but it was also because of him. He's funny, and sarcastic, and he has opinions. When you disappeared I knew immediately that I was going to need help, so I became chief of a pack. But you already know that," he made to stop, but she put her hand on top of his. He took his strength from that gesture and continued his tale. "They're amazing, but they're so young. Thinking that they're gonna change the world. And the older ones aren't better. They've already understood that they're not going to change it, so they just don't try. Raphael… he knows that alone he won't make a difference but he's still here. Living."

He stopped, not knowing what to say next.

"I guess," he said, in a softer tone, "it felt good to be wanted and valued. I mean, not that you didn't-"

"I understand. I wasn't what you needed and much less what you deserved. You deserve someone to be there for you, but…"

"But Raphael obviously isn't the one." He looked ahead, "but for a minute I thought he could be."

This time she didn't answer, just put her head on his shoulder, and he hugged her.

Someone coughed behind them and he turned around to see a smiling Magnus, who had his arm on Alec's shoulders. Alec was looking a bit uncomfortable, but not with the situation, more like with the eyes looking at them.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're about to go, so…"

"Yeah, yeah," he said and got up, then helping Jocelyn. "Should I transform now or there?"

"Better there. Normally when a werewolf goes through a portal in their wolf form they get agitated," Magnus answered.

"Okay."

The four of them went towards the place where Magnus was going to open the portal, and Luke got a hold on Jocelyn's hand. There was nothing romantic in the gesture, simply two people knowing that the hours that were going to follow this moment would be hard. And maybe even fatal.

He couldn't help but to turn around before stepping through the portal. Nope, still no vampires.

He drew a deep breath and he and Jocelyn went through it, still holding hands.

He wasn't sure if the reason why they let go of each other was for him to transform or simply because Jocelyn needed her hands to cover her mouth.

There were thousands of demons ahead of them, and in that moment Luke knew that they had no chance. Killing them all would be impossible without some sort of miracle. He looked at Jocelyn and knew that they wouldn't turn back.

He looked around. There were some shocked faces and even ones with fear, but nobody was running away. He saw Shadowhunters putting their hands in werewolves' fur, warlocks holding hands with the Nephilim, and faeries putting their hands on other shoulders.

Yes, nobody was running away.

He had never been in a battle like this so he wasn't sure what he should do. Wait for the demons to attack or charge ahead like they did in the movies?

He didn't have to wait long to find out, since suddenly there were demons birds flying in their direction. In a moment it was raining rocks and people were trying to protect themselves.

Warlocks were putting spells to protect them while the rest of the demons came running towards them.

Luke looked in Jocelyn's direction, who gave him a ruthless smile and they started running towards the fight.

When the vampires first started appearing Luke honestly thought they were demons. He almost took one head's off when the other smiled at him, showing off his canines.

"I don't think I'm the one you're supposed to be fighting," he said in an Australian accent and then was gone.

Luke didn't have a chance to respond, since obviously he was in wolf form, and also couldn't start to even think what that meant.

When he wasn't fighting, because he was making a pause, or simply because no demon had yet to come take the fallen's place, he looked around and stared at the others style of fighting.

He had seen Shadowhunters and werewolves fight, of course, but the others were news.

Warlocks used magic, even if some had weapons and were using them, just as good as any Shadowhunter. Faeries were fighting mostly the demons that could fly, using their hands, weapons or even spitting fire or some other substance that Luke hoped to never find out what it did in first hand. And vampires… well, now he understood what Raphael meant when he said they could take Jace down.

They were fast and they were ruthless. He was lucky the vampire who he had attacked hadn't tried to kill him in return, because it was obvious it would have been simple.

He didn't try to look for Raphael but whenever someone with brown curls was around him and Jocelyn he couldn't help but look twice to make sure it wasn't Raphael.

He never found him and for some reason he believed he wouldn't even if looked in the entire field. That only made him fight harder.

When the demons disappeared, most of them still fought for some seconds more until they realized they were fighting air.

They looked around, while werewolves returned to their human forms and then there were cries, some of happiness, some of sadness, and Luke noted a big exchange of hugs, from all the habitants of the Shadows world.

Luke smiled and after a hug to Jocelyn just made his hardest not to fall asleep right there.

It took six warlocks to open a Portal, since most of them were too tired to open one alone, and then they were gone.

Luke knew he would never be able to arrive to Amatis' house without passing out, so he simply transformed and went to lie down on the grass. Jocelyn followed and soon they were both asleep.

Luke found himself waking up several times during the night, not because of images of the fight, it was still too recent, but because the body besides his was too warm, and never holding him like he had gotten used.

When he woke up he found that Jocelyn wasn't there anymore and he didn't find it suspicious. She probably went to look for Clary, and now that he thought about it, that was probably a good idea, because he was almost a hundred percent sure that whatever had happened the night before had had something to do with her.

What he did find curious was that there were colorful ribbons all around, like they were getting ready for a party.

"How long have I been asleep?" He wondered out loud after transforming back into his human form.

"Two days, amigo," some guy said behind him and he jumped.

The guy chuckled, "sorry," but it was obvious he wasn't.

Luke nodded and quickly got up.

"What happened? And why are you putting those things in the trees?" He asked, not really knowing what to call what the man was holding. The man was a fairy, he quickly found out, when he didn't stop his job of flying to the higher branches of a tree to put something in it.

"Well, people have gone to the hospital and a lot of funerals have happened. And we're trying to find the person who'll stay here to be our… what do they call it? Whatever, the person that's supposed to be here in the Council. I heard they were thinking of you for the werewolves. And we're doing this because tomorrow is supposed to be a party. A celebration of the end of the war and of a new journey," he said it all without stopping and without expecting Luke to give an answer to any of his sentences.

"Right," was all Luke answered and then with a wave, went away.

He went for the Accords Hall and quickly a lot of werewolves went to him. In the middle of all their sentences he found out the Fairy had been right, and that he was not only being asked to stay, but actually expected to do it.

He refused without thinking much about it. All he wanted was the familiarity of his house, and as much as he would like to stay and try to reconnect to Amatis, he missed New York. He wouldn't be able to live in a place with so little noise and lights, not to mention that Jocelyn and Clairy were no doubt going back. So no, saying no wasn't a big deal.

Well, not for him, because the werewolves were taking it hard and didn't know what to do. It was obvious they hadn't really considered the thought of him refusing.

"Maybe Claudius can do it," he said and after some minutes the werewolves went to find him.

Luke wasn't sure if Claudius would think of it as a good thing or a bad but he didn't wait to find out.

He went to Amatis' house and only talked with her and Jocelyn for some minutes before going to bed, with a message to wake him up for the party.

Amatis looked shocked at thinking of him sleeping for so long while Jocelyn just laughed and said she would wake him up sooner for food.

He made some sound in agreement and quickly found the bed.

Things had changed these last few days, and he was more than happy that he hadn't been around to see to them. He already had his pack to take care of; having the entire population of werewolves as well was not something he wanted.

He felt asleep with an image of brown eyes behind his eyelids and found that as much as he wanted to make it go away, it prevailed, and it made the nightmares go away. Funny, right now his nightmare was meeting those brown eyes again.


	10. Chapter 10

Because you totally deserve more and there is a shape shifter here, who isn't Tessa btw. I've only read the first book in the Clockwork Angel Trilogy and it was when it first came out, so I don't remember much details. I know that Tessa is supposed to be unique, but come on ! There are billions in the world. Anyway, hope you like it :)

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**Chapter 10**

When Luke arrived to the center, where the party was to take place, for a second he forgot why they were there. It was so colorful, with so much noise, drinks and music, and he couldn't remember why the hell they were throwing a party. Yes, not as many people as expected had died, but still. One life should matter, not just a million. Or maybe that was just it; a person dying was just too normal.

He grabbed a beer when, well, when they appeared flying, since everything that was eatable or drinkable was just flying around in plates. He had a feeling this wouldn't be his only one for the night.

He sat at the same table as the Lightwood, Simon, Clary, Jocelyn and even Maia. He hadn't yet understood what sort of relationship she and Isabelle were having. One minute they were all friendly, the other sending angry looks at each other. He thought it had something to do with Simon, but if it did, the guy was absolutely oblivious. Kind of like Clary with him, actually.

It was a nice evening, if you overlooked how they didn't mention the last few days, or their return to New York. Luke believed it was mostly for the Lightwood's sake. It must be hard having to return home without one of their sons. He couldn't imagine going back without Clary or even Simon.

His stomach rolled inside when he thought that there almost was a chance of Simon not going back with them. That Raphael would have been the reason.

He took another sip of his beer, trying to make these thoughts go away. Thinking of Raphael made him think of the conversation they needed to have. There was always the possibility that they simply erased each other numbers and never talked to each other again, but Luke didn't want to leave it like that. Especially since the other man was second in command and they may need to meet to discuss business.

"_Yeah, so one of my werewolves killed one of your vampires? On another hand, can I have the shirt I left at your house back?"_

Yap, just perfect.

Robert and Maryse were telling a story about a demon in Rome they had found during their honeymoon when suddenly a vampire girl appeared.

She had dirty blond hair, green eyes, a lot of gothic make-up and was wearing clothes in punk style, or what he thought was punk; except for the shoes, who were probably Jimmy Cho's, or whoever that dude was called. Just because he liked dudes, didn't mean he had to know these things.

She coughed behind Magnus, and the taller man looked behind.

"Lilly," he said in a pleasant voice, but that also said that if she left he wouldn't mind in the least, "what can I do for you?"

She took a pair of boxers from her pants' pockets, which, for starters how the hell had it fit in there and second, oh shit, he knew those boxers.

Magnus' eyebrows went up, "okay, well, I'm sorry but they're not really my style."

The boxers in question were black with a wolf in the right front and the girl, Lilly, holding them, just buffed.

"I need you to do a tracking spell on these boxers."

"Honey, if he left them, he probably doesn't want them back," Magnus said and Lilly closed her eyes and drew a deep breath, like the only reason she wasn't hitting him was because she really needed his help.

"They aren't from some guy I fucked, douchebag. Their Raphael's."

The table immediately went tense but Magnus continued to answer in a laughter tone, "and you want to give them back?"

This time Lilly put two fingers holding the bridge of the nose, like some people did to calm down.

"We can't find him. And if you make another joke I swear to God I'll make you swallow them," she sounded serious in her threat and it seemed Magnus realized it too because he dropped the funny act.

"I'll help because I know you wouldn't be here if it wasn't serious."

"Thank you," she answered like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Magnus took the boxers and dropped them on the table, then starting to chant and move his hands around with the table's eyes on him; not that he seemed to notice.

When it was over his eyebrows were pushed together.

"What? Is he dead?" She asked, and he heard fear in her voice.

"He's in Sydney."

"Why the fuck is he in Sydney?" She asked, this time only with an annoyed tone.

"He's with the Council, and he's not dead, but it may not take that long."

"What?" She shrieked and people started looking their way. She dropped herself besides Magnus, not paying attention to Alec's indignant tone to almost being sent off the bench, "tell me everything you saw."

"He was in a cell, tied up and in pretty bad shape, with Roma. That's all I saw."

"Fuck," she murmured. "This is not good," then she seemed to realize she wasn't alone and got up, "thanks for the help. Send me the bill," she said to Magnus and then simply flew out of her spot.

Luke felt Jocelyn's hand under the table searching for his and he grabbed it with strength, feeling that it was the only thing forcing him to the ground.

Raphael was tied up in some place, and there was a chance he might die. Luke shouldn't care, he knew that, but obviously his heart didn't, because all it wanted to do was to go after Lilly and force her to get him to Raphael.

It was Simon who broke the silence, "he's with the Council? But isn't the Council here?"

"Different council," Magnus murmured and only explained further when Simon cleared his throat. "Vampires and warlocks have their own council."

"Together?"

"Yes. It has been around for more years than the shadow hunters'. Way before my time."

"But it's going to stop existing, right?" Clary asked, "I mean, the whole purpose of this if for there to be equal rights. It won't be equal if you have your own council."

Magnus gave a bitter laugh. "You can't change things like this, Clary. Faeries also have their own council, except they're more secretive about it and the only reason the werewolves don't have one is because there would have to be one chief. It almost erased their race, last time they tried." Clary seemed ready to start again but Magnus put his hand in the air to stop her, "there's too many reasons why we can't just erase our council, reasons that you wouldn't understand, so let's just leave it at that."

"Just drop it," Luke said to the astonishment of the others, knowing that Clary was about to make some comment about how she wasn't young to understand or something like that. "The reason why Magnus knows you won't understand, none of us will really, is because we're mortals. This is an immortal thing, okay?"

She nodded and they let a silence fall on them again.

"So," once again Simon started, "Roma? And Raphael?"

"Roma is one of the members of our council. She's basically the hit man, or hit woman, in this case. She does the bad work, and since we're talking about thousands of year's vampires, I mean really bad work. For some reason Raphael is her victim."

Luke felt like punching the table. That was it? He was her new victim, and there was nothing they could do?

"But why do they have him?" It was Jocelyn that asked, and Luke squeezed her hand, as if saying thanks. She squeezed him in return.

"I don't know. The council is from and to vampires and warlocks, but sometimes we divide cases."

"Do you think it's because of me?" Simon murmured. "Because he didn't kill me?"

"I find it hard to believe. If it was that then it would be more likely for them to simply make him try again. No, this is something else, something that I know nothing about and chances are I won't."

Luke wanted to say something, anything, but was stopped by a hand going on his arm and pulling him up. Whoever it was, was bloody strong.

He looked behind to see a woman, who looked to be just reaching twenty, but was probably more, with painted red hair, which didn't seem to have been washed in days, make-up that was completely ruined and a brown dress that actually looked to have been of another color once.

"You need to come with me."

Luke simply raised his eyebrows, because he had never seen this woman before in his life and couldn't phantom what she could possibly want with him.

She got closer to him and for a second he thought she was going to attack him until she murmured in his ear, "it's about Raphael. I know about you two."

He looked at her in amazement, because Raphael had never told him he had told another person. Sure, he wasn't forced to, but he thought he would have.

She must have seen his indecision in coming because once again she got in his place, "it's about getting him out."

She looked around, "can we just go some place and talk?"

He nodded but before he could move his arm got grabbed and he looked behind to see Jocelyn's eyes questioning him.

"Werewolf business," he answered and she let him go, but he was sure she wasn't convinced.

They walked in silence until they were under some trees that had been covered pretty poorly, with only some light to make them see, but at least it was desert.

"There's a lot I have to explain for, so I'm going to try to be quick. Please don't interrupt me," she started and he didn't even have time to say 'okay' before she started her tale.

"I'm a shape shifter, which yeah, they exist, but we aren't that common. Right now there are only about ten in the whole world, but the reason why I'm telling you this is because not only can we shape shift, but when we do, we get access to the memories the other person has. That's how I knew about you and Raphael; before, when he came to the Council to ask for Simon, it was me. Don't ask anything, I'll explain why.

"I was called by our council to go to Sydney and I went, and there they were torturing Raphael. You can only make Raphael do something after a lot of torture, and just some hours weren't nearly enough, no matter how much holly water they put on him. Anyway, they wanted him to come and kill the Daylighter, but of course he wouldn't, so they decided to make me," she planted her eyes on the floor, like she was ashamed, "I didn't want to, but I'm married and we just adopted a werewolf, and they were going to kill them. So I transformed into him."

She stopped and Luke didn't realize right away that her tale had ended. He sat down on the floor.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because my husband and I almost split up because of a misunderstanding and I couldn't let that happen to you two. I saw his memories, I know that you love him, and he loves you back. And after everything Raphael's been through… he deserves some love."

Luke just nodded in response.

"They let me go with the promise not to tell anything, but my husband and child are secure, so I came here."

"What can I do to get him out?" He asked, but he wasn't sure if he murmured or actually shouted, since it was like his ears were covered by something. He could still hear the sounds from the party, but it was like they were coming from miles away. A world away.

She gave him a piece of paper and he opened to see a number written. "This is Angel's number, Raphael's ex-wife. Tell her what I just told you and she'll help."

He nodded and then she started walking away, "wait!" He called, "my phone won't work."

"Angel's number is special. No matter where you are, you can always reach her." And with that she walked away.

He knew he should probably go back to the table and explain things, but if the woman, who now that he thought about it, he had never even found out the name, was right, then Angel needed to learn this as fast as possible.

While dialing the number he wondered if Lilly had called Camille, since she was probably from their coven, and if she was planning on doing anything to get her second in command back.

"Sí?" A female voice answered after some rings.

"Is this Angel?"

"Sí, with who am I talking?" She asked with a stronger Mexican accent than he had ever heard in Raphael's voice.

"Luke, Luke Garroway. I'm a werewolf from New York and I'm calling because… well, I don't know her name. She's a shape shifter with red hair, and she told me to call you."

"Kyra?" The other asked with patience in her voice.

"I guess, but anyway I'm calling because of Raphael?"

"What happened?" She asked, and this time there was worry in her voice.

Luke told her everything Kyra had told him and after some seconds of silence Angel talked again.

"So you're the werewolf he's dating," it wasn't really a question but still Luke nodded before realizing she couldn't see him, and then confirming, wondering why this was what she was questioning.

"I'll go get him but we can't come back to Mexico," she said and didn't give him a chance to question why before she continued, "would it be possible for us to go to your house, in New York?"

"Yes, but it isn't very big."

"Don't worry, it'll only be me, Raphael and maybe one or two vampires to go there. The rest will go to Camille, to who I need to have a talk with."

He gave him her address, "how long will it take you to get there?"

She took a few seconds to answer, "it's two in the morning in Sydney, and there's a difference of fourteen hours between it and New York, so when the sun comes down in New York we'll be there. It'll still be some hours, don't worry."

"Don't you need a portal to be opened there?" He questioned, because he had actually paid attention to Magnus when he had explained these things to Clary, who obviously hadn't.

"A portal would cause too much attention. We have our own way of getting there, don't worry. Te veré más tarde," she said and then the line went off.

He looked at the phone and then to the party, trying to think of a way to tell Magnus that he needed him to open a portal to New York. Shit, there was only one way, wasn't there?

Kyra better be right about Raphael loving him, he muttered inside his mind, because if he didn't and he came out (God, how he hated those words) to the others without reason, there would be hell to pay.

He waved when he got back and he could see how the others sensed his tension. Well, what the hell was he supposed to do?

He sat down and looked at Magnus, "I need you to send me back to New York."

"O-kay, but why?" Magnus asked.

He wanted to close his eyes, but he sucked it up and answered in what he hoped was a normal voice, "I'm going to help Raphael."

"Why?" Magnus asked with eyebrows raised and he could see Alec and Isabelle, who were sitting beside him with the same confused expression.

Thinking better, it wasn't too late to invent an excuse about it being because of the new Accords, and how being the chief of New York's pack he needed to help the coven, right? He felt Jocelyn's hand grabbing his and instead of swallowing like he wanted, he simply scratched his neck. Just get it over with.

"Because I'm dating him. Or was," he continued, not being able to stop, "I'm not so sure anymore. But anyway, I'm going to help."

He wanted to give one of those nervous smiles people sometimes did, but instead looked at Clary, who was looking as shocked as the others.

"You…" Magnus started but then just shrugged, "wait 'till Gabby hears."

Luke had no idea what that meant, so he just nodded. This wasn't the time to ask questions.

"You're dating Raphael," Simon repeated and Luke nodded slowly. Simon shrugged, "okay."

Even Jace looked perplexed with the other's reaction. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Clary answered. She looked at him and smiled. Then she stopped and grimaced, "oh God, you spent nights at his place. I'm sorry, I'm just… imagining it," Jace and Simon grimaced besides her while Maia and Isabelle looked contemplative, and seriously, he did not want to go there.

"I'm going to open the portal, then. Anybody else going?"

He looked at Jocelyn, not being sure if he wanted to tell her to stay or to go. They had already decided that until she and Clary found a new place they would live with him, so she would be present when Angel arrived.

"I'll go," it was Maia the first to answer and he turned to her, surprise in his face. "What? I'm just going for the moral support. There's no way you're surviving this by yourself," she smirked and Luke smiled in return, wondering what he had done to be loved by this girl.

"Yeah, we're going," Clary said, "you coming?" She asked Simon.

He shrugged, "sure, not like I'm staying without you." Then he smirked and Luke was confused until he opened his mouth, "please don't tell Amatis without me around. I can't wait to see her reaction."

The others laughed a bit, even Robert and Maryse, while Luke blanched. His sister was still having problems because he was a werewolf; how the hell was she gonna deal with this?

Alec, Izzie and Jace looked at Maryse, alongside Robert, and if he hadn't just been thinking about Amatis, Luke would have laughed.

She nodded. "I think it's for the best. I don't think that whatever is happening is just going to be swept away; it's best for us to be there."

Magnus nodded, getting up. "Let's rock n' roll."


	11. Chapter 11

All I have to say is: enjoy the chapter and thank you for sticking with me :)

* * *

**Chapter 11**

When they arrived to the Institute for a minute they all stopped and just stared. Magnus hadn't cleaned anything, so there was still blood everywhere, and even Madeline's body. This had been left behind just a few days before, but to Luke it seemed like years and looking to the others he wasn't the only one feeling it.

The Lightwoods stayed behind, with the teens begging to go with them, mostly because they couldn't stand the thought of being left alone in all the fun, which Luke thought a bit stupid, but he remembered how he had felt the last few months every time Clary did something stupid or crazy, most times both at the same time. Still he didn't say anything and finally Robert and Maryse won the fight by promising tomorrow they could go.

At least when they were saying goodbye Clary and Jace had the good sense to only smile and not actually kiss.

The van was still outside and Luke would have laughed if he hadn't though the others would think him mad, but then again, Maia seemed to be having the same problem.

"It looks like it was just yesterday, but at the same time, years ago, right?" He asked her, putting an arm around her shoulder.

She nodded and Luke was reminded of how strong she was.

There had only been two dead in his pack, Jem and Jorge, and three injured, but still he knew it had been rough on her. Hell, it had been rough on all of them.

Magnus left them before they entered the van, telling them he was going to find a potion for Raphael's cuts, something he probably would need.

The ride home was silent, for once without Simon trying to make things less tense, but Luke didn't believe it was a tense atmosphere because of what he had said, mostly because of the events that were going to happen later on. He had to admit, for every second that passed, he second guessed his decision of allowing Angel to come to his house.

In the house, the five of them watched TV, an X-Men movie or something, he wasn't sure, but then again, it seemed like none of them were really paying much attention. Magnus arrived when some dude put a bunch of cops on fire, and kind of scared them a bit by ringing the bell. He wasn't sure if it was because of the part they were watching, or simply because it reminded them that the next time it would probably be a bunch of vampires with a hurt Raphael between them.

While watching the movie Luke finally thought of what it meant having Raphael's ex-wife in his house. He wasn't jealous; at least he didn't think so. He had once loved Jocelyn and Raphael didn't seem to take it badly, so why should he? And anyway, he should be thankful to her. To whom would he have gone, if not her?

They watched CSI after the movie, probably a marathon, since he was pretty sure that was the third time he watched that beginning before the doorbell rang again.

Maia and Clary, who had been sleeping with their heads together, jumped, while he and Magnus got up, with Jocelyn and Simon simply tensing up. In that moment he found himself wondering if maybe having the Lightwoods there would have been such a bad idea.

He opened the door and for a minute all stopped.

Raphael was there, with his hair everywhere and clothes that seemed to belong to a homeless guy. One that hadn't changed in over twenty years.

It was a woman, probably Angel, who finally seemed to stop this moment by grabbing the other man and forcing him to enter. After her two more men came.

"Magnus, you have the potion, I hope," her voice didn't have as much accent as over the phone, but her 's' still sounded weird.

"Yes, yes," he nodded and quickly pulled a bench that was under the meson, making Raphael sit and take off his shirt. He made a sound before quickly pulling a vial off his sleeve and starting to put the mixture in Raphael's skin.

From what Luke could see, Raphael's torso was fine, besides some bruises, while his arms had other burns, already starting to disappear, which had the form of crucifixes.

While Magnus did this, Luke looked around to his guests. The woman, Angel, had short black hair, little makeup, a red top, denim shorts, which should not look that good in a woman in her thirties, and boots that went almost to her knees. The two men were both wearing black, the only difference being how they carried themselves. The older one, with brown hair and eyes, was standing beside Angel, but relaxed, while the other, green hair and brown eyes, was standing in front of the door, tense, but if to prevent them from escaping or simply to be the closest to the exit, Luke couldn't say.

"Aren't you happy you choose the magic tattoo?" Magnus said after some seconds of work.

Raphael mumbled something in Spanish, but it's too quick for him to understand.

"I did not force you. I simply suggested that it would be better," Magnus replies and this time Raphael didn't answer, simply hissing to something Magnus does. "Sorry, nothing I can do. I'm literally removing holly water from your system."

"After you're done I think I have some broken ribs."

"They haven't healed yet?"

Raphael's grimaces when answering, "they have, just the wrong way."

Magnus sighs, "let me just finish this."

Raphael starts moving his fingers while Magnus finishes the job and remembering the pack of cigarettes Luke had bought a couple days before (for Raphael, not him, he has no thought of starting smoking now) he goes to get it, alongside a lighter and an ashtray.

Raphael looks a bit surprised when he drops the objects in front of him, but still mumbles "thanks" and lights one.

Angel goes and gets one for herself, watching Luke with curiosity in her eyes while doing it.

"So you're Luke, right?"

"Yes," he answers, and he thinks she's asking just because, since it's obviously not Magnus and Simon… well, he prefers not to think about Raphael and him together. Not to mention that she probably can smell he's the only male werewolf in the room.

She then smirks at Raphael and he knows that whatever will come out of her mouth won't be kind, "it's funny. You've been with a crazy bitch, a gorgeous bitch and now you're simply with a bitch."

Clary and Simon make a 'yep' sound while Maia looks like she wants to laugh but at the same time lash against Angel for calling her alpha a bitch. Jocelyn just looks shocked and Raphael is trying not to look in his direction, but he can see a smirk in there.

"I think you're wrong in the female part, honey," Magnus said with laughter in his voice.

"A small detail," she answers.

"I'm not sure in what category you're in, Angel. You and Gabby were both gorgeous… and crazy," Raphael says and this time the smirk is directed at her.

Angel seems a bit shocked at this but then starts laughing, and so does the man alongside her. The other just looks shocked.

"No need to get all grumpy, it was just a joke," she then looks at Luke, "I'm sorry if I offended you," she says but Luke doesn't really believe her. Still, he doesn't mind, at least Raphael came in his defense, and what the hell does that say about their relationship?

Not so much about if there even is one, but about the fact that he's the one needing defense. _It's just like dancing,_ he thinks, _you don't always need to be the one in command._

"Oh, where are my manners! With all of this we haven't even make introductions," she says, "I'm Angelica, but you can just call me Angel, and this is my husband, Alejandro, but you can call him Al," she points to the man standing beside her who waves, "and the grumpy guy over there is Damon. Don't worry he doesn't bite… without a reason."

Damon nods at them and then goes back at looking sullen.

"Well, I'm Jocelyn," she says, getting up and shaking hands with Angel, who looks surprised, and with Al, who looks pleased, "that's my daughter Clary, hers friend Simon and Maia." Clary and Simon wave and force a smile while Maia simply nods.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all," Al says and Luke thinks he might like him.

Then a silence falls on them until Magnus announces his job is done, "your tattoo looks the same as the day I made it."

"You do tattoos?" Clary asks while Luke goes around to inspect it.

He doesn't doubt Magnus' work but truth is he never actually came around to seeing what was drawn in Raphael's back.

Every time the other had his back to him it was either too dark to see or he was too engrossed in other activities for his brain to process the image.

In Raphael's back there's a demon and an angel, or at least he thinks that's what they are. From his left shoulder comes the tail of a demon, with his wings, all black; while from the right end comes the angel, with white wings. In the middle they seem to simply meld together, being on different sides but also at the same.

"You did a great job," he tells Magnus, feeling like he needs to say something. All the other things on his mind are mostly questions to Raphael, questioning why he did it.

"Thank you. I have one alike, but they aren't this together and on different colors."

Luke nods and goes to say something else in response when suddenly Raphael is grabbing his hand. He doesn't understand immediately why until the other gasps in pain and he sees Magnus doing something to his ribs.

When it's over Raphael doesn't immediately let go of him, so he doesn't either, just moving in circles with his thumb.

Luke's thinking about questioning about Kyra, something he had already told them about, during their time watching TV, when Angel's phone rings and they all jump, all having been too engrossed in their thoughts.

"Sí?" Angel says and Luke can hear a woman speaking in the other side, but it's in Spanish, one different than Raphael's, who seemed always to talk slowly and in an articulated manner and now that he thinks about it, it was probably for his benefit, so he doesn't understand anything.

This doesn't seem to apply to the vampire men, not counting Simon, who all go alert at whatever the woman is saying.

"Cabrona! Si a apaño, la mato!" She looks angry and sad, and Luke doesn't doubt for a second that whoever she's threatening, because he has learnt enough Spanish to understand that, won't survive for much longer. She looks at Damon and he seems to understand whatever she's telling him with her eyes because he leaves. "Damon has just left," she says in a very calm tone, and he doesn't know why she's speaking in English, "he'll be there in two hours. If any of her people is still in my land they will fucking burn."

The woman on the other side says something but Angel interrupts her. "I've made my decision. If you want to tell them so that they can leave, fine, but nothing else. Any of Gabby's vampires puts one foot in my land and they're dead. Pass the word," and then she hangs up.

Raphael lets go off his hand and gets up but Angel shakes her head so he stops, just standing looking at her.

She does some breathing exercises and Luke senses that the tenser person in the room is now the one that was the calmer before this phone call, Al.

Angel looks at him and Luke can't see her eyes, but from how she's standing he knows this isn't going to be a nice talk. "Next time I choose something, unless it's to destroy the world, you will not try to change my mind. This is on your head, not mine. You're second in command, not chief!" She starts calmly but by the end she's loud and again stops and breathes. Luke wonders if that actually calms vampires down. "Go and make sure my orders are followed."

He nods and to his astonishment they kiss before he goes. He looks at Raphael and he shakes his head. If to tell him he wouldn't understand or that he'll explain later, he's not sure but he doesn't push. Their marriage, not his.

After some minutes Angel looks at Raphael, "whatever is happening is bigger than you being tortured just for the Daylighter's head. Gabby wouldn't try my anger for nothing."

Raphael nods, "what do you want to do?" He speaks for the first time in the night and Luke is happy to note his voice sounds the same, if a bit colder than usual.

"The rest of the vampires that came with us are sleeping in the hotel and Camille is coming tomorrow. I'm going to try and figure what's happening with the council." She sighs, "lots of favors to collect and even more to owe."

Then she leaves the house and he doesn't know if that means she's gone or if she'll come back.

"She'll find someplace where to spend the night," Raphael says, as if reading his mind. "I should also go."

Luke doesn't want him to go but at least Jocelyn, Clary and Simon will sleep in his house, so there's no place for the other man. But then again, there isn't even for him.

"I'll go with you," he says before he can stop himself and he's happy when Raphael looks surprised but nods, not fighting his decision. To be honest he had no idea what he would do if he couldn't go.

"Then I guess this is my line," Magnus says and leaves waving at the others.

"Right," Luke murmurs and the room goes quiet. "You can stay, Maia. It's too late for you to go home."

She smirks, like he should be more concerned with the assholes that try to robe her or worse, than with her, but he can't forget how some weeks ago she almost died. It seems she remembers it too because the smirk falls and she nods.

"Just go, we'll figure something out," Jocelyn says and waves.

Raphael starts walking, without any limp, nothing like when he first came in, looking like he might pass out if he stayed up much longer, and he follows him.

They get in the van and it's silent, but he doesn't mind, because at least Raphael is there. When it's red he grabs the other's hand and when he has to let go Raphael puts is hand on his thigh and it feels good. Like it hasn't since the last time he was with the other man, and seriously, how fucked is him?

Raphael opens the door, grabbing a key from a fake rock, and Luke follows him. Inside he shifts uncomfortably while the other man gets the lights and gets a drink.

He offers him a scotch and Luke has to stop himself from drinking it in one go. Raphael watches amusedly, and then goes for a pack of cigarettes on top of the coffee table.

They sit down and it's silent and Luke doesn't want it to be, but doesn't know what he could say to break it, so instead he just looks at his shoes and breathes slowly.

He's thinking of Angel and Al when suddenly Raphael's on top of him kissing him.

Luke knows that he should push him off and force them to talk about the events of the last days but it has been so long and he just can't do it.

He kisses the Latino man like a man would drink water in the desert, with teeth and tongue.

Raphael moans on top of him, and Luke grabs his hips, with more strength than strictly necessary, not that the other seems to mind, and pushes their groins together.

They moan and Raphael kisses his neck while Luke gets both of their shirts off, pushing then the other man under him on the couch.

If Raphael were human he would be breathing with difficulty, he knows, and blushing, but as the case is, his pupils are simply wider and his skin more pale.

Luke doesn't attack his mouth, instead licking his lips and then the inside of the other's mouth, like a place he used to know very well but now needs help finding.

They kiss like this for a while until Raphael seems to get sick of it and grabbing Luke's ass forces their groins together and Luke didn't know something like this could get him so turned on. He isn't a teenager anymore, after all.

Luke pushes against the other man while their kiss deepens; making sure Raphael comes first before following.

When it's over they're sticky and Luke laughs because he can't remember the last time he came by dry humping a guy.

Raphael kisses his temple and Luke nestles his head on the other's shoulders, knowing they should get up because the sun will be up in just an hour or two but being too comfortable.

Luke joins their hands, threading their fingers slowly. Then he just looks at their hands. Raphael's is smaller and darker while Luke's bigger and clearer.

"You know, we're going to have to get up," Raphael says but doesn't try to move and Luke can hear a smile in his voice.

He makes a sound more of a ten year old then a man almost in his forties and Raphael laughs. Luke holds onto him harder, having missed the sound.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Luke wakes up in bed and can't help but to smile at the thought of the other man carrying him. Then he blushes, because he was carried by a vampire to his bed. While unconscious. He's life used to be sort of normal.

With Raphael's hair on his shoulder he finds it hard to mind.

There's a clock on the night table and Luke is surprised to see it's almost one in the afternoon but decides not to care. After all, the others had gone to sleep pretty late, too.

He looks at the other man and starts wondering what's happening. With Raphael, with Angel and Al, because Raphael will have to explain to him what the hell was all that about, with their Council that didn't see any bad in torturing a vampire so that he could kill another.

_He said no, _his brain keeps saying, _he said no because he knows how much Simon means to me and how it would hurt me if he died. He was tortured and he still said no. _He tries not to think _for me_ but it's hard and he fails.

He holds Raphael closer to him and smiles when the other man basically purrs. He goes back to sleep.

Next time he wakes up it's four o'clock and he decides to get up, because he can't handle waiting for Raphael to wake up just looking at the ceiling, which is white and has twelve cracks.

He takes a shower and gets dressed with the same clothes he had on before, thinking that next time he really needs to bring a backpack with him.

Then he goes and tries to find something eatable. He's glad to find Raphael's fridge isn't filled with bottles of blood. Instead it has the usual things you would find on a fridge and Luke wonders if Raphael usually has it there or if he bought it for him.

After he eats some cereals he goes to the living room and puts on a Spanish CD that's on top of the stereo.

"Maldita Nerea," he murmurs, being glad nobody was near to hear what a bad accent he has. He needs to improve it, definitely.

He listens to the whole CD while reading a Stephen King book, amusing himself by wondering if Raphael has any Anne Rice book. What about Twilight? It isn't very famous but he had heard some werewolves discussing the characters. From what he heard he was very glad Clary hadn't yet put her hands on a copy.

He then puts on "Los Vaqueros", stopping every few sentences he reads to pay attention to the lyrics. He tries to imagine Raphael listening to it or even dancing to it, and has a hard time doing it. Pun intended.

When the CD ends he puts a "Los Enemigos" CD and then simply goes through Raphael's collection.

Mostly they're Spanish and English, but he finds some Portuguese ones and even a Chinese. He's trying to decipher what "Xutos E Pontapés" means when there's a cough behind him. He almost drops the CD and then turns to Raphael's laugh.

"What are you doing?"

"Going through your records. What does this mean?" He asks, holding the album, knowing he would only embarrass himself trying to say the name out loud.

"Basically they're two words for kicks. And I mean in the literal sense, kicks like while shutting a ball. And at least you haven't yet found Quim Barreiros' albums."

"What?" He asks and Raphael laughs. Luke notices the other is looking much more relaxed.

"He's a Portuguese singer. He sings… I don't think English have a word for his style. It's pimba."

"Pimba?" He asks, because it just sounds like a sound effect.

"Yeah, just horrible songs. There's one where's he's asking, 'mas quem será, mas quem será o pai da criança?' which means 'who's the father of the child," he explains, singing the Portuguese parts and Luke had no idea he had such a beautiful voice.

"You got a good voice. You want to sing more?"

Raphael laughs but still sings some more in Portuguese. Luke has no idea what he's saying, Portuguese is even harder to understand than Spanish, and Raphael is really good at making both languages sound very different, but still he finds himself smiling at the other's voice.

Luke's feeling pretty happy until suddenly he remembers his pack.

"Fuck," he murmurs and Raphael immediately stops. "Not you, I mean, not like that," he tries again, "I mean, I have to go see my pack. I left and didn't say anything."

"Don't you think the wolf girl you brought will say something?"

Maia! Of course, why hadn't he thought of her?

"This is all your fault," he says and Raphael's eyebrows go up, "you make my brain go all mushy and I forget everything."

Raphael smiles, "I make you go all mushy, ahm? I think that's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me."

They laugh together and Luke gets the feeling that they've reached a new point in their relationship. He's glad, because he has just "got out of the closet" and if he had to tell them he and Raphael had just broken off, it would be really stupid. Oh God, what if, God forbid, they tried to fix him up with some dude? He shudders.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Hey, I have a question."

"Shoot," Raphael says with a look that says that he knows Luke is changing subjects but still will allow it.

"What was that with Angel and Al? They were arguing and then kissing…"

"Al is Angel's second in command," Raphael sighs when that only makes Luke more confused, "it's a long story, so don't ask questions. Over two hundred years ago Al became her second in command and a few years later they got married. But it didn't work, so they divorced. Still, Angel said that if he choose to, he could stay, and he did. This means that Angel was there for one of Al's marriages and Al for two of hers." He sighs again, "what I mean is: they've learned to separate their work from their marriage. Last night you saw it firsthand. Al, as Angel's second in command, made a bad decision and Angel, as her chief told him so and got angry. But that discussion didn't get into their marriage life. I know this must sound confusing, and maybe you don't understand, but it has been this way for years. It works for them, and that's all that matters."

Luke nods, still a bit confused, but like Raphael had said, it was their life.

"So now what? Is something bad happening in Mexico?"

"Vampire Mexico is divided in two parts, one is commanded by Angel, the other by Gabby-"

"Your other ex-wife?"

"Yes," Raphael answers and Luke doesn't even know what to say, because really? He married the two most powerful women in Mexico? "Yeah, it didn't end well," Raphael says to his thoughts, which must have been written very clearly on his face and if it was any other occasion Luke would laugh or ask questions, but instead he keeps silence. "Anyway, because of it they started using spies so that they would know what the other was doing. Maria was one of Angel's children. And I mean literally, she raised her since she was two and transformed her when she made twenty two and asked for it."

Luke nodded in response of all of this, not knowing how else to answer.

"Why Gabby did this now… I cannot be sure but whatever it is, it's serious. She could have killed anyone, yet she choose Angel's daughter. This can cause a war."

"So what do we do?" Luke wonders when he started putting himself into the equation.

"We wait." And with that he drags Luke back to bed.

When he wakes up he's alone and his clothes are folded in a chair. He gets them and smells soap on it, smiling when he thinks of Raphael washing them.

He takes a shower again, this time more to take Raphael's smell off him than because he's dirty, deciding to go later to the Hunter's Moon. He's pretty sure he'll find more members of his pack there than in their quarters. He doesn't really blame them. He likes being in Pete's bar much more than in a prison. Literally.

It's nine o'clock and he goes down to the living room where Raphael is watching some black and white movie.

"Let me guess, a movie from your childhood?"

Raphael gives a sarcastic laugh in response. "Casablanca is from 1942, not that old. And besides I wasn't free when it came out."

"Free?"

Raphael was tense when he answered, "yes, I spent fifty years in prison."

"Why?" Luke knew he probably shouldn't have asked, that the other man was allowed to have secrets. And it didn't really count as a secret, at least he didn't think so.

"I killed my maker."

"Oh," was all Luke said. He wanted to know more, not so much as to why, because if he had to guess he was pretty sure he would be right when he said the other probably deserved it. But he wanted to know why fifty years. From what he had heard vampires didn't take kindly when one killed their maker.

"I'm sorry but I would rather not go there."

"It's fine," Luke said and it really was. Everybody had topics they didn't like to discuss; Luke himself. So why was he feeling, well, not betrayed, but close? Probably because if Raphael asked him about his time with the Circle, he would answer, no matter how much he wanted to forget.

Raphael sighed, probably noticing his discomfort, "he killed my family before transforming me. He took my brother and buried me in a coffin. When I finally was able to get out I followed his trail and killed him. The only reason I was able to was because he was too confident in himself, so I when I got the upper hand, he simply didn't try hard enough. Renna, his wife, took my brother, Diego, and I didn't see them for another fifty years. Leo had done this to other families, but had been too good at erasing traces and paying off whoever could do anything, so the Council went soft with me. You know the rest. I got out, got tortured and sent Renna to prison."

"I'm sorry," Luke said, but he wasn't sure what for. If because of Raphael's horrible past or for forcing him to tell him.

"It's in the past. I got over it."

Luke still had questions, mostly concerning his brother but decided to leave them for another time and went and sat with Raphael, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"_If we stop breathing, we'll die. If we stop fighting our enemies, the world will die.__"_

When the movie was over Luke made himself a couple of sandwiches, he was a werewolf, after all and then they ate, or he ate, while Raphael smoked, and did he use to smoke this much?

"Camille is supposed to arrive in just an hour so I'll have to go. Will you stay or…?"

"I'm going to go to the pack. Maia sent me a text telling me they arrived and it took Jocelyn to make sure they wouldn't search the entire city looking for me."

"You know, they wouldn't have done this with Gabriel. If he disappeared, even if just for some hours, when he got back there would already be a new chief and he would have been declared dead. Possible by the new chief."

Luke smiled, "yes, I am very lucky."

Outside Luke kissed him before entering the van and only took off when he could no longer see Raphael in the sky.

While he drove he wondered if Raphael would be able to hold him and fly with him. Now that the idea had crossed his mind he couldn't let it go.

He entered the bar while sniffing around. Basically his whole pack was there, along with a couple solitary wolves. Some places didn't accept lonely wolves, and forced them to enter the pack or to leave, but Luke left them alone unless they caused problems. 'Till this day he had had no reasons to complain.

Cam hugged him when she saw him and he was a bit surprised, only giving her little pats on the shoulder.

"Never do that again, you ass," she said punching him in the shoulder and what the hell? First, he was the chief, so she should not attack him, verbally or physically, and second, what the hell? First she hugged him, then she punched him? Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

"Sorry, but didn't Maia tell you I was okay?" He asked while patting his arm. Hey, she was a werewolf, a punch from her hurt.

"Yeah, but she was all cryptic and shit about it," Joshua told him. "So, what happened? She said it was your business to tell."

"Where is she, anyway?" He asked, more to buy him time than because he was worried.

"She's home, sleeping. But don't think we'll let you get away that easily. Spill."

The whole pub had their eyes on him, even Pete and normally he was a dude who didn't really care about gossip. Maybe he was worried and just wanted to make sure nothing bad had happened to him, but whatever.

Luke started rubbing his neck, something he found himself doing a lot lately, once again wondering how he would do this. He had a feeling that doing it like he had with the Lightwoods and the others wouldn't go too well.

"I'm not sure where to start."

"From the beginning, it's always for the best," Cam said and it was obvious that she wouldn't leave this alone.

Before he had the chance to, somebody entered the pub and immediately every wolf went tense. Luke didn't have to look to know who it was, the smell gave her away.

"Angel, what are you doing here?" To his astonishment it was Pete who made the question, and without malice in it. There was no tension in him.

"I needed a drink and the vampires from here actually make me pay," he knew she was smirking without looking.

"So you just came here for free drinks? And here I was thinking you wanted my company," Pete said moving from behind the counter and actually hugging the vampire.

"That too, but free drinks first."

"Because of course you can't afford them," he murmured but still went and got her some whiskey.

She drank it without putting blood in it and Luke wondered if she actually could taste it, or if it would have any effect on her.

"Luke, how are you?"

Every wolf in there was surprised for him knowing the brunette, but none made any comment.

"I'm good, you?"

"Could be better," she looked at Pete when she answered, "Gabby killed Maria last night."

"I'm so sorry," Pete said, sending waves of shock but also of real apology.

"Yes, well, what I don't understand is why now," she sighed, "Al's already there taking care of business but I'm staying for a couple more days."

"You have a place to say, I hope," Pete said and Luke was shocked. Would the other werewolf actually offer his house to a vampire?

"Yes, don't worry. I actually do owe a house here. Unfortunately it isn't big enough for all of the vampires that came with me, but Camille was nice enough to let them stay."

"She's back from London?"

"In just a couple of minutes. And you know I can't deal with her without some alcohol in me."

They exchanged a smile and Luke decided that this was enough, and went to sit at the counter, besides Angel.

At this the rest of the werewolves also seemed to regain some functions, because conversations started again. The only one that didn't go back to her place was Cam, who sat on Angel's other side.

"How do you two know each other?" Luke was also curious, but he wasn't rude enough to ask. It seemed Cam didn't have that problem.

"My daughter, Sophie, was transformed into a vampire about fifteen years ago. Angel took her in."

"By the way she's great, dating a new vampire that just arrived."

"Is he any good?" Pete had an undertone to his voice that clearly said that he better be or else…

"I believe so. He just arrived a few months ago from England, and you know Sophie. She loves anything with a British accent."

"Right," Pete said but there was still a dangerous tone in his voice.

"Relax. If anything bad happens you know Damon will take care of it."

Pete nodded and then they went silent again.

"What about you, Luke?" Cam was asking and there was a light in her eyes that didn't promise anything good. "How did you meet Angel?" She turned to the other woman, "I'm Cam, by the way. Luke's second in command."

Angel nodded and the she turned on him. There was amusement in her eyes. "So you haven't told them? I would leave, but I haven't had a good show in ages."

The wolves' talks stopped at this and again the eyes were on him.

"I'm glad to be of entertainment," he said, once again trying to gain some time. "And the reason I haven't told them is because I don't know where to start."

Angel gave him a predatory grin and Luke knew what she was going to do before she opened her mouth. He could stop her but… this was probably easier.

She looked around, "Luke's dating Raphael, who is New York's vampires' clan second in command. He's also my ex-husband, but that's a different story. There's a couple more details but I'll leave it to Luke."

Pete was the first one to get over his shock. "Well, that was unexpected. So you're dating a vampire, Luke?"

It seemed that was the werewolves' biggest worry, and not so much the fact that he was male.

"Yes," he said, not knowing what to say besides that.

Cam whistled and then turned on Angel, "you should have let him say it. It would have been much more entertaining watching him fight on how to tell us he was fucking a vampire. Or being fucked by one; I really don't wanna know."

Angel smirked at her and Luke was glad Cam wasn't a vampire, because if she had been Angel would just have gained an ally. Then again, maybe as a werewolf Cam was even a bigger ally.

"That still doesn't explain why you left yesterday," Bran, one of the younger's, said.

"Don't you wanna explain?" He asked Angel, "you did just out me, so you owe me."

"I do, don't I? And I always pay my debts," she looked around, "alright, what do you know of vampires and warlocks council?"

When just half a dozen hands went up she sighed and started explaining.

When she got to the part where Raphael had been tortured because he wouldn't kill Simon, she amused herself by telling them how big Raphael's love for Luke was. She then did the same to him when she got to the part where he left Idris.

The silence that was met after she finished her tale was broken by her phone ringing.

She accepted the phone call and with the silence the words on the other side were being listened by all, but still she didn't try to leave the room.

"Angelica, we have a problem," a woman with a Russian accent said.

"What is it?" Angel said, but she didn't seem preoccupied, not until the woman answered.

"Renna has escaped."

"Puta mierda."


	13. Chapter 13

It took me weeks writing this (at the time) because I couldn't figure how to make this story go forward from Luke's POV, until I figured I could make it work from Raphael's. So the rest of this story is parted in differente POVs. Let's see what you think :)

Also, this chapter is small, the smalled of them all, but I think it works. Raphael isn't Luke, and it's fun to write from his POV. Basically because he'll kill anyone who messes with him without thinkin twice. And now, on to finish the next chapter !

* * *

**PART 2**

**Y echaremos a volar**

**Chapter 13**

He runs.

He doesn't really think about it, he just starts running. He can't hear his steps, or his breaths, which after all this years, have become a habit to him. He's a vampire, which means that he can hear it without actually trying. He can hear what the woman on the phone is saying on the other side of the street. If he tries he can even hear the answer.

Except he doesn't. He doesn't care about that woman, or any other person on the street, for that matter. He just runs, not on vampire speed, which he isn't sure why. Probably because he's become too accustomed at pretending to be human, but he doesn't want to think about that.

But what can he think about? Just because he's running doesn't mean he can't think. He can, and he is.

"_She has escaped."_

It's repeated over and over again inside his brain. He wants it to stop.

He wants to run faster. He wants to scream. To cry. To stop. Just stop everything.

He doesn't want to think about what's happening in the meeting between Angel and Camille. The meeting he left the moment Angel opened her mouth.

Renna is… she's his past. A past he's tried so hard to forget, it doesn't seem like his own anymore. It's not just about forgetting; it's about surviving all those memories.

He stops and looks around. He's at some port. It's deserted, so he sits. If it could be called sitting, that is, he basically just drops on the ground and looks at the water.

He hears screaming. His own, his father's, his mother's, his sister's, his brother's… all the girls he has killed.

He wants it to stop, but he doesn't know how to.

He has his head on his hands, but there're no tears following. Raphael hasn't cried in a very long time. He remembers it.

It's stupid how memories look in movies. People don't actually see them like that. They can't look at the ocean and suddenly see something else. It doesn't happen like that. It's just fragments.

The last time he cried was years before. Before marrying Gabby, another thought he doesn't want on his head. He had screamed then, too. But still, it hadn't been enough. How could it be?

He's spent all these years trying to forget. To survive.

It's stupid how a single sentence can end it all so easily.

The ocean doesn't look the same in different places. It's just like looking at the sky. Sure, there are always stars and sometimes they're the same, but mostly it's just the same picture with different characters.

It's a nice metaphor for life, he thinks, but he doesn't want to think about life now. Not about his, anyway.

He's had some good years. Some very good years. Unfortunately, he isn't sure if his good memories can overcome the bad.

It's stupid how over the years the good memories go away. Seem more distant. But the bad… they're still there. Just as close now as they were fifty years before.

He doesn't cry. He doesn't scream. He just sits there and prays to… he's not sure to whom, but to something, somebody, that this won't destroy him. That he'll survive it. Again.

Again. It is just like before, isn't it? The past is important. It's what makes us. Raphael prefers not to think about how he would have been if his past had been different.

He likes to pretend the late nights where he imagines the different routes he could have taken never happen.

The past is past, there's nothing one can do to change it, except accept it.

He lets a breath out.


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for everyone that's still following this story and for your kind reviews :)

**Disclaimer: **Suuuure, I own this, that's way there're so many straight couples on the books.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Half an hour before the sun is up, Raphael gets up. He looks around and he wonders where he should go.

His house is just that; a house. The hotel is his real home, not because of a different bedroom, but because of the company. Except he doesn't want company, but he doesn't want to be alone either.

He could call Luke, he knows the other man would hear him with no complains, but then he would have to explain… for just some hours he wants to pretend that the night before was just a nightmare.

So he gets up in the air and starts flying towards a place he hasn't been in years. Not because he isn't welcome, which he knows he'll always be, just because he never had a reason.

He has transformed two people, besides Simon, in all his years. John was the second one and he hates Raphael for that, so they're not on speaking terms.

The first one was Geanna. Their relationship is easy. When they're together they can talk or they can be in silent. It's still comfortable.

Their story isn't complicated.

Geanna doesn't live in New York, but she has a house just an hour from his (by car). There's a chance she won't be there, a big one, but her things still will, and he knows that if there's another place he'll feel at home it's there.

When he gets there he wonders if he would feel the same with Luke. He once felt at home with Gabby, and then Angel.

By the time the sun is up he's in her bed, falling asleep.

He wakes up just a few seconds after the sun is down. Every vampire can feel the sunrise and the sundown, just not all can note it. Raphael is always aware of how many hours he has on the outside. It's strange and not many people would understand, but it makes him feel safe. Every day he chooses to go back inside the house. Every day he has the choice to face the sun and he doesn't.

Some days he doesn't even think about it, it's just another day. Other days there's smoke coming from his skin when he finally goes to bed.

He doesn't get up immediately, not until the memories from the previous night start coming back.

For just a second he goes back under the covers, pretending that he could actually go back to sleep. Maybe forever.

Except he can't. This won't just go away, he knows it better than any, but he wants it to.

He gets up and drinks a bottle of blood that he finds on the fridge. It isn't human, but he isn't sure if it's of a lion or bear. There were humans, he knows it, he just can't bother to find them.

Not to mention that he doesn't drink human blood, not when that means killing one of them. It isn't because he believes they deserve life, it's just because if he can help it, then why shouldn't he? It's not because he's trying to repay for the lives he already took, either. Those have been gone for a long time and there's nothing he can do to have them back. Who says that one life repays for another, anyway? Everybody has different values, no matter what those free thinkers say.

He leaves the room with the same clothes from the day before because he doesn't want to search for clothes from Geanna's old lovers. He doesn't see her often; doesn't mean he doesn't talk to her at least once a week. He knows she hasn't had a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months for some years now.

Before he starts flying he checks his phone, trying to get an idea of where to go.

There're three calls from Camille, which shows that this is serious. She calls just one time if it's for a meaningless subject, something that can wait for the other day, but she doesn't want it to. Two is for something that has to be taken care of immediately. Three… well, she only called him once that many times and it's not a good memory.

Five from Angel, alongside eight texts, which he reads very fast, knowing what they'll be saying. And there they are. The messages of: where are you? Are you okay? It's going to be fine. You'll survive this. It's going to be okay.

He has two lost calls from Luke and three texts. He would feel bad, but then again it's not like Luke knows what's going on. But the fact that he tried more than once to contact him means that he knows something.

Angel had told him in one of the texts that she had been with him when she received the call, but Raphael hadn't really thought of what it meant.

He wasn't really a guy to take bubble baths but right know it's all he wants.

And cake. He wants cake.

Yes, they make blood cake. It tastes like strawberries.

The minute he's in front of his door he knows there's somebody inside. Not so much because of the smell that's lingering on his door but because the key inside the rock is gone.

He doesn't think for a second that he's been robbed, so he enters his house like he normally would.

He finds Luke sleeping on his couch. For a minute he ponders just leaving him there and going for the bath, but he dismisses the idea immediately. Luke was there when he needed him, and chances are, he'll need him a lot more. It's strange having to put somebody else's feelings in the equation.

He's second in command of a clan; he's used to having to watch over somebody. But this… this is different.

Besides the two ex-wives, Raphael hasn't been in a lot of relationships. It's not because he's afraid of getting hurt; of ending in another bad marriage. His last marriage didn't end badly and he would never take back those years. He just didn't have the time, and maybe hadn't really found the right person.

He's stopped from over thinking about his current relationship when Luke starts stirring in his sleep, finally ending with his eyes opening.

Raphael doesn't say anything until the other's eyes find his.

The look on Luke's face looks exactly like the one he had that morning, he's sure.

"Don't," Raphael says before he can stop. Luke looks even more confused, so Raphael sighs. "Just don't ask any questions, please. All I want is a bath, and then… then we'll talk."

Luke looks surprised for a second, but then he gets up and smiles at Raphael. He looks tired, and worried, but there's still a glint in his eyes. A glint that Raphael knows speaks of love.

"Well, come on. I'll wash your back."

Raphael can only smile in response.

He chooses black clothes. He doesn't know why, but he's sure any psychiatrist would have a field day trying to figure it out. Raphael can already see at least half a dozen of answers but he isn't interested in them.

He also doesn't want to know why he's got the sleeves pushed until the elbows.

Luke is sitting on his bed, looking at him. Raphael already told him that Renna has escaped, and even thought Luke doesn't know their entire story, he knows the basics. Knows that this isn't a subject best left to luck. Not that Raphael would allow it, anyway.

"So, what now?"

"Now, I'll go to Angel and Camille and we'll make a plan," Raphael answers with more confidence than he feels.

Luke gets up and embraces him from behind. Raphael doesn't know if it's because he felt the insecurity on his voice or just because he feels like a hug is what he needs right now. Anyway, Raphael will accept it.

They stay like that until Raphael lets him go; feeling like Luke's body has given his some energy, some courage. Courage for what, he's not sure, but like most things right now, he feels he'll find out soon.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Raphael can't figure out immediately what'll be the answer if he opens his mouth. On one hand he would like to have him besides him, but on the other… he's not sure how the vampires will take it.

He nods in response. Who cares what they think, anyway?

They don't fly there, instead Luke takes the van and accepts all the jokes Raphael makes about it. Raphael himself isn't sure why he's mocking Luke so much, he just knows the banter between them is the only thing stopping him from jumping off the van.

It's not that he's afraid of the decisions. Even Camille, who doesn't always see eye to eye with him, knows what he's been through with Renna, and she, best than some, knows and accepts vengeance. But going to meet them… that'll just make this all so more real.

"We're here," Luke says and Raphael only glances at him briefly before getting outside.

He takes Luke to the living room, letting him go the moment they're on the floor, but doesn't put any space between them. He tells himself it's just in case any of the vampires try something funny.

"Raphael," Camille says and he can't say if she's greeting him, calling him or admonishing him.

Raphael bows is head, anyway. Luke besides him doesn't do anything, except to look to the blond. Raphael doesn't try to make him do anything; he owns Camille his respect. Luke owns her nothing, at least for now.

"Raphael," Angel says but in her voice Raphael can only sense greeting and maybe some preoccupation. It has been some years; he isn't as good as seeing through her mask as he used to. "You brought Luke," there's some warning in her voice but he's sure it's about Camille and not a threat to the other's well being.

Raphael can think of a dozen answers to give, but instead stays silent.

"I'm Luke Garroway," Luke says besides him and Raphael's surprised, as are all vampires around them, when he offers Camille a hand.

She doesn't show any emotion but it's clear by the way she waits a second to shake his hand, that she wasn't expecting the gesture.

"Your Raphael's…" she looks at Raphael, "what should I call him?"

"Boyfriend," Raphael answers because he knows that if he lets it up to her she'll come up with something incredibly embarrassing or mean. Probably both, knowing her.

She smirks and repeats the word, but once introductions are made she's serious.

"We need to discuss some things. Obviously your boyfriend will stay with us, since he came all this way," there's amusement in her eyes for just a second, "but if you want to discuss this in private-"

"No, it's fine," Raphael says. His clan trusts him and he trusts them. They're his family. Keeping them in the dark will only end badly.

"Very well," Camille says, but he can't see if she approves or reproves of his decision.

Besides the clan, some of the vampires that came with Angel are there. They all helped taking him out of the catacombs; he won't ask them to leave.

"Do you know why she escaped?" Camille starts and Raphael is about to answer no, but something stops him.

"Which day is today?" He asks.

Camille, knowing that he won't be asking for simple curiosity, quickly tells him it's the seventeenth of August.

"It's been fifty years," he says and when only Angel seems to realize, he explains. "Yesterday marked the first fifty years she was to spend on prison."

"You spent fifty years there," Angel concludes. "She thinks you're even."

Raphael nods, happy to see somebody following his trail of thought.

"So, do you think she'll leave you alone?" Lily says. When Raphael sends her an incredulous look she quickly adds, "you just said she thinks you're even."

"In years, yes, but I don't think she'll just leave me alone." Raphael had never actually thought of that. The possibilities of Renna leaving him alone, or maybe even apologizing to him were naïve, minimum.

"We should wait," Camille says, "we don't even know where she is, or what she wants. We need to find her, and then we'll think of a plan of action. Even if she wants no harm to you, she'll still have escaped from prison. Four hundred and fifty years too soon, more precisely," Camille continues at Raphael's look of disbelief.

"So how do we find her?" A vampire from Angel's group asks. Raphael is assuming he's one of hers, that is, since he's never seen him before.

"She didn't leave anything in her cell, I already asked," Angel answers. "We should call the Germans."

Camille nods, "they do owe me a favor."

Raphael doesn't say anything, too surprised to seeing her and Angel agreeing. He sees looks alike his everywhere, making Camille laugh.

"We do see eye to eye, sometimes."

That only makes the disbelief grow, and Angels joins Camille in the laughter.

Raphael shakes his head, knowing that trying to understand those two would just get him an enormous migraine and no answers. He looks to his side, where Luke is looking amused, if a little confused.

"I'm not sure if I should be shaking my head and say vampires, or women," he murmurs, but not low enough for the others to don't pick up. This time the laughter following his statement is much bigger, and shared by basically all vampires.

Raphael doesn't know why he's laughing along. Doesn't know why any of them is laughing, really. It wasn't that funny.

But he notes how Lilly is leaning against Francis, how Dray has a hand on Mary's shoulder and a lot of others displays on couples (and some more, he doesn't judge). They don't really believe Renna will leave him alone, either.

They'll fight for him. This is them getting ready for battle. Not trying to see how they can escape, just knowing that if they die it won't be with regrets.

They're not saying goodbye, they're just making sure their time is well spent.

Raphael looks at Luke, who's looking a bit embarrassed, but still happy, and wonders if he would have done anything different if he could.

He doesn't like thinking of the other paths he could have taken, not when it only leads to regrets. Luckily this isn't the case.

"It was like meeting the parents, if they were dozens of vampires, of course," Luke says when they start the drive back.

Raphael laughs and feels a weight leaving his body.

"Don't laugh, this just means that the next one will be you. Jocelyn can't wait to meet you. Oh, and Cam, she's very curious too."

"Cam?"

"She's my second in command," Luke sends him a smirk that is entirely devious (Raphael doesn't know if he should feel proud or afraid), "you'll have to meet both of my families."

Raphael just sighs, but can't really pretend to feel anything besides a slight flutter. And maybe some happiness, but he'll never tell Luke that.

"I love you," he tells him and has to grab his seat when Luke almost drives them off the road.

"You couldn't have found another time to say that, could you?" Luke says with what is supposed to be some annoyance, but he just sounds out of breath.

Raphael doesn't answer right away, not knowing exactly why he did what he did.

"It just felt right," he finally settles in. It's not a lie, even if it's not the whole truth.

Raphael's a vampire, which means that he'll live forever. This isn't him finally being aware that Luke is mortal, an issue that he doesn't plan to think about for some time, it just means that he doesn't see death like most of people. It doesn't mean that he doesn't see life as something important.

That sentence "living in the moment" is stupid and overused, but sometimes it's all one has.

"I love you," he repeats and this time Luke doesn't do an illegal maneuver.

"Is this you trying to say goodbye?"

"What? No!" Raphael says, because that had honestly never crossed his minds. "Why do you say that?"

"Maybe you think this is too dangerous for me, or that you won't survive."

"First of all, I can't promise not to die tomorrow, but I'm not planning on dying at Renna's hands or anybody's hands, for that matter. And second… you're a werewolf. An alpha one. I would be stupid to not think you capable of being here. And I need you," Raphael finishes and it's stupid how those three words cost more to say than the others.

"I love you too," Luke says and Raphael lets go of a breath he wasn't even aware of being holding. "And I'll be there for you. For whatever you need. And you better not die. Not until you've been introduced, anyway."

"You just want to show what a nice piece of ass I have," Raphael says, letting some of his old self come back.

Luke laughs so hard once again they almost leave the road.

"I own your ass," Luke answers him and this time it's Raphael laughing.

When they arrive at his house they don't leave immediately.

The remains of their laughter vanish when Raphael's puts his hand on top of Luke's.

"This isn't just going to go away, is it?" Luke asks in a small voice.

Raphael just shakes his head, not knowing what else he could say.

"I meant what I said earlier. I'm here for you, for whatever you need."

Raphael puts pressure on his hand, once again left without words.

"If it can be stopped… if it's possible for her to go back to prison without any bloodshed, will you allow it?"

Raphael doesn't answer right away. Part because he's never actually thought of that possibility, and part because he doesn't want to lie.

"I want to say yes, but I can't."

"Why?" Luke asks, and Raphael can hear more than simple curiosity in it.

"I could say it's because I won't be able to live normally knowing that she's on the loose, but I'd be lying. The truth is… I don't believe she deserves to live. Not after what she has done to me, and made me do. I just can't allow her to live like nothing happened."

Luke nods, but it takes him a while to respond.

"I can't say I understand, because I don't, but I don't think I could change your mind," Raphael tries to stop him, but Luke just continues, "I have no idea what these days will bring, but I'm not leaving you. Even if you kill her."

Raphael doesn't correct him, doesn't tell him that if he finds Renna he'll do much more than just kill her, instead accepting the other's kiss in the forehead, and thinking for just a second that maybe things will be okay.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

In the morning, well, his morning, it's night for the rest of the people, Raphael remembers Luke's questions.

Renna not wanting him dead… he can't see that possibility. Not after what they've been through. The sending him to prison, he can accept. He did kill her husband, after all. He was a fucking son of a bitch who Raphael killed way too early and without pain, but still her husband. But the torturing… Not to mention the fact that she stole his brother from him.

For fifty years the only thing holding him together was the belief that his brother was safe now. That while Raphael was in prison, Diego was getting his life back. It became clear enough once he was out, that the life Diego had been leading was not the same that Raphael had in mind.

Those six months under Renna's control… they were the worse of his life; will always be the worse, he's sure. Even today he doesn't know what made him capable of surviving. Of not letting go.

He takes a deep breath, trying to take his mind of bad memories. Renna will want to make him relive it, he's sure, and he isn't planning on giving her the satisfaction.

Luke had stayed the night with him but had left on the morning, which Raphael only knew because of a note. He really had been dead to the world.

He drinks some blood, then a whisky, or three whiskeys, depending on how you look at the glass, and smokes a cigarette while trying to figure out what to do next.

He could call Lazar, but what would he say? He doesn't know anything yet and Lazar will only bring more questions to his mind. And probably bloody images too.

Lazar has been basically his father since he met him, fifty years before. Or maybe since Lazar met him, he isn't sure.

So calling Lazar isn't an option, at least not until Angel calls him with news from the Germans.

The Germans are a group of vampires, that sometimes cooperate with warlocks and, not so often, werewolves, and they're the best at finding people. Doesn't matter where you go, they'll find you, sooner or later. If they find Renna quickly, which he believes will be the case, he can only think of two reasons of why that would happen. Well, actually three, but the whole "they're that good" isn't really cutting with him. So, the two reasons he sees are: after fifty years in prison she's too confused of the modern world, or, and this is what he believes, she wants to be found.

Once again he takes a deep breath, gets another glass, and lights another cigarette.

Luke spends his day taking care of the pack's matters. Cam looks at him weirdly all day, but he doesn't answer her silent questions. Anyway, even if he wanted to, he has no idea what he would say.

He barely slept the night before, even with Raphael's body besides him, not being able to turn off his brain. Renna, Raphael, _'I love you'_… it's just too much for his brain.

He sighs, dropping his head on the counter.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Pete asks and for just a second Luke feels like nodding. Except, what could he say?

So he shakes his head and drinks the rest of his beer.

"_Do you know the Enemy?_

_Do you Know Your Enemy?_

_Well Gotta Know The Enemy_

_Wah Hey!"_

It takes two seconds until he realizes the song is coming from his phone and another four to open the phone and answer the call.

"It's Angel, could you go to Raphael's place?"

"Sure," he answers noticing Pete is looking at him alongside some other werewolves. Damn hearing. "Is anything wrong?" He doesn't even think of question her about having his number.

"The Germans just called. They've found Renna," she makes a pause but Luke doesn't say anything, hearing her breathe, "it's not good."

She hangs up before he can question her.

He gets up to leave and Cam is there.

"I'm coming with you."

"No," she seems ready to argue so he continues quickly, "one of us needs to stay here."

"Do you think we'll be attacked?"

"No. Well, probably no, but I still want you here."

"Then I'll go," he looks to the door where Maia is standing. "We're not letting you get in there alone."

Luke could argue, but he knows that it'll be pointless and honestly, he thinks that having somebody alongside him will be good.

They go in their van and when he gets to Raphael's house all the lights on the first floor are on.

Maia takes a deep breath before leaving the van, but he doesn't ask any questions. If she wanted to leave, she already would have.

He rings the doorbell, thinking it's best than to just barge in.

Inside are more than ten vampires, minimum, and they're all silent. Raphael is sitting at the bar in the corner, with a glass on his hand and a cigarette on the other.

Angel is nowhere to be found.

He goes to him, noticing Maia following him, but more for her sake than his, and asks him what's going on.

"Angel won't say. She was waiting for you. I think she thinks I'll have a breakdown or something," Raphael tells him with a light voice but Luke can see his eyes and knows that whatever Angel was trying to keep hidden, obviously wasn't done very good. Raphael knows something and it isn't good. By this point, even without knowing the whole story, Luke can't imagine what could be worse.

"Now that we're all here," Angel starts and Luke will admit that he jumps a little, "I can start. The Germans just called me. They've found Renna," she looks at Raphael and her eyes soften, "she's in Oaxaca."

The room immediately starts buzzing with conversation but all Luke does is look at Raphael, who's staring at his glass, and then it suddenly breaks.

There's silence after that and Luke wants to take the glasses off him but Raphael is just staring at his hand and it's like he's trapped to the floor. Maybe Raphael hadn't known the whole truth, after all.

"Oaxaca is in Mexico. It's owned by Gabby, my ex-wife," Raphael tells him, still not looking at him and Luke nods, even though he can't see him.

He doesn't really understand the meaning of those words, but he knows that right now isn't the moment for questions.

"What now?" A vampire with pink hair asks after almost five minutes of silence.

Nobody answers him and Luke finally goes to get a damp cloth.

He then cleans Raphael wound, which closes right after he's finished.

"Leave," Raphael murmurs and then stands up. "All of you. Get out."

The vampires don't ask any questions, just get out, leaving him standing there with Raphael, Maia and Angel.

"You too," Raphael tells them and Luke is shocked, as is Angel, he can see, but she doesn't ask any questions and as much as Luke wants to, he doesn't either.

Instead, he refuses to leave.

"I'll give you a ride," Angel offers Maia and the two of them get out, with Maia sending him a look that tells him to be careful.

Raphael picks up a bottle and Luke thinks he's going to get himself a drink, but instead he throws it across the room, breaking the TV.

He grabs another and does the same thing and Luke remembers being ten and doing something similar, when his parents died.

Raphael throws all the bottles until he's left standing there with a bottle of vodka, which he drinks at least half before he sits down, putting his head on his hands.

Luke is sure the other is crying until suddenly Raphael throws his head out and laughs, almost falling of the bank.

There're tears on his eyes, and Luke knows it's not all because of the laughter but he doesn't say anything, instead going to get a cloth and starting cleaning the floor.

"Leave it."

Raphael stands up and then they're left just looking at each other.

"When we got divorced, everything was fine. We weren't friends, but we didn't avoid each other and if something was bad I knew… I knew I could count with her," there are no emotions on his voice and he seems far away, "then I fell in love with Angel. Gabby… she didn't take it well. We got married just two years after and Gabby started saying I never really loved her and drove all my friends away. She even prohibited me from going into her part of Mexico," he looks at Luke, "Mexico is divided in two parts. One is owned by Angel, the other by Gabby. Oaxaca is where I grew up. Where my parents are buried. It's in her part."

Luke nods, understanding that this not only meant Gabby had made it impossible for him to visit his family but that Renna being there was personal and obviously a message.

Luke felt like the thing to do now was to think of a plan, but they had Angel and Camille to do it and more hundreds of vampires.

So he puts his arm around Raphael's shoulders and takes him to bed, taking off his shoes and clothes, and putting a blanket over him.

"Don't leave," Raphael murmurs and Luke just nods, lying down besides the other man.

He probably should say something, to make things right, but he doesn't want to lie, so instead he tries to reach every part of the other's body with his own.

When Raphael wakes up, it's four in the morning, which means there are still a couple of hours until sunrise. He could go back to sleep but then he would only wake up in another night, and who knew what would have happened until then?

So he kisses Luke's cheek and leaves the bed, trying not to make any sound, which with him being a vampire, wasn't really that hard.

Standing in the living room he thinks that maybe staying in bed wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

All of this hurt. Seeing how he had destroyed his living room just because he had found out his ex-wife, who he knew hated his guts and wanted nothing more than to have him dead, was helping Renna, the other person who hated him. His brother was probably with them, too.

He drew a deep breath, and started cleaning at normal speed.

It made him think and as much as it was quicker with vampire speeding, it never got as clean.

The only objects that survived were some CDs and some benches. The stereo, the TV, even the sofas, were all ruined.

When he's done with it, it's already a quarter to five, and he leaves the house, not leaving a note to Luke. It wasn't like he had a choice of not going back to the house in a couple of hours.

He flew to the Hotel, without anybody trying to stop him while he went to Camille's office.

There were sympathetic looks everywhere but they didn't utter a word. They weren't human; they knew that saying 'sorry' didn't really mean that much. Helping him kill the bitch, would.

Camille was in there, alongside Angel, Evelyn, who was their third in command, and Geanna.

He hugged her, not asking why she was there. She was and that was all that mattered.

"Do you have a plan?" He asked, looking between Camille and Angel. None of them would mention the episode that had occurred before.

"We're still thinking about it. It seems pretty obvious they're looking for a fight," Evelyn says.

"We believe that's why she killed Maria. She knew that by killing my daughter I would take every vampire I had from her side, which means that right now we're walking in blind."

It wasn't that uncommon for vampires to raise humans. Angel had raised quite a few and when they made twenty she offered them immortality. Some agreed, like Maria, some didn't.

He was painfully reminded that this wasn't just about him. Maria had been killed, and Damon had been sent to kill all vampires that Gabby had on Angel's territory. There was a time when it wasn't like this. When spies were just a word from the movies. In a way it was also his fault.

Raphael had never fought in many wars. Vampires were old creatures; wars weren't that common. Unfortunately it didn't mean that when they did happen, they were for good reasons. He spent the two world wars in prison, and the only reason he knew about them was because of books. Humans seemed to have forgotten it, not because it hurt too much to think of it, but because it weighed too much. He didn't understand humans. Didn't understand wars. He wondered if anybody did. He doubted it.

"What about Diego?" He forced himself to ask, not just to take his thoughts off the battle that had happened between Angel and Gabby all those years ago, but also because he needed to know.

His brother had stopped being his brother a long time ago. If it came down to it Raphael would kill him with no problem. The only reason he hadn't done it yet was for consideration to their parents. But they were dead, weren't they?

Angel shook her head, "we don't know, but like I said, we're blind, so it's possible he's there."

"Will you call Lazar?" He asked Camille.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "if you want him, you call him."

Really, if she had answered in any other way that would be when he would know they were truly fucked.

"What will we do?" Once again he forced himself to ask. He wondered if there was a right answer to this.

Angel exchanged a look with Camille, who looked divided between being amused and terrified, or as terrified as Camille ever looked, that is.

"We have news of the Council. It seems some members have left," Raphael raises an eyebrow at this, "the younger ones are gone and the older… there are rumors of them going to Mexico."

"So they're fighting with Renna," it isn't a question.

Camille puts her head between her fingers, "this isn't about you anymore, Raphael. Renna seems to be an image of façade. This explains why the Council arrested you and how she escaped. They didn't plan on Kyra going to Luke, which would mean you would have stayed with them."

Raphael nods, "it's because of the Shadow hunters, isn't it?"

Camille laughs. It's bitter and shallow and he doesn't remember the last time he heard Camille's laugh not sound like that, "it could be. Or it is because of you. Or because there are more werewolves in the world. Who knows?"

"They just want to be called lords," Geanna says, "it's stupid how thousands of year's vampires are as stupid as fifty years Shadow hunters."

They're silent after that.

Raphael sits in front of Camille, "do you remember when I first came to you?"

Camille arches an eyebrow at the randomness of the questions, but still answers, while behind him the women leave.

"I do. There was a bet going around about how long you would last. Nobody betted more than two months," Camille smirks, "I betted two weeks. You made me lose a hundred dollars."

Raphael doesn't answer.

"But I'll admit that it wasn't that much of a lost."

"I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

Camille rolls her eyes, "get out."

He smiles and does just that. There are also bets going around about how long it will take for Camille and Raphael to finally fight, or fuck, depending on the person, but it's times like these that makes Raphael think that a fight will never happen. He has been with her for almost thirty years, and sometimes they wanted to kill each other, sometimes almost did, but in the end they're family, and that's all that matters.

Family. Nowadays it doesn't mean what it did years before, but Raphael has found it isn't hard to think of it anymore.

He leaves the hotel, once again not being addressed by anybody and finds Geanna outside.

"Do you remember what you told me all those years ago?"

She's standing in front of him, but he tries to get away. He's stopped by her nails scratching his face.

"To survive the future, you have to let go of the past," she tilts her head, "will you be able to?"

He tried not to sound angry when he gave her an answer, but he knows he fails. "What do you want me to do? To say: hey, it's okay, we're even, let's just go on with our lives and pretend like nothing ever happened?"

There was sadness in Geanna's eyes and her hold lost strength. "You will never be even."

They were the same height, so she doesn't have to do much to put her forehead against his.

"Just remember that you're not alone. Killing Renna will make you feel better, but only for a short while. Then what?"

"Then I'll remember the screams she gave over and over again," his voice shook when he continued, "and maybe… maybe that will drown out the others."

There were tears falling from his eyes and she hugged him.

"I will be there for every step of the way. If you want me to hold her down while you reap off her limbs, I will. If you want me to burn her, I will. If you want me to let her go, I will. Just be sure that it will be what you want."

He nods, not trusting his voice.

She lets him go and smiles, "now let's go meet that werewolf of yours. Angel says he's quite a looker."

"What did you expect from me?" He asks, but his voice only sounds rasp and not amused, like it was supposed to.

To her credit, Geanna only laughs.

"She says he didn't attack her when she called him a bitch. And that then you called _her _a bitch. Not that I blame you for," she whispers the last sentence.

He puts his arm around her shoulders and then they're off in the air.

.

"I met her in Italy, in a forest," he tells Luke after she's gone, "she had been sent there by a priest. She was a nun, you know. The priest that sent her there had been raping her ever since she stood foot in his church. When she fell in love with an Italian he burned a crucifix in her back and left her to die in the forest. I planned to just take her back, but she looked so broken… I offered her immortality."

He makes a pause, "but with one condition."

"_I'll transform you, but you can't go look for the priest. The only way to survive the future is by letting go of the past."_

"_And if I can't?" She sounds so young, Raphael thinks back of his sister and for a second wants to take his offer back, but if he doesn't do this, then what will happen to this girl?_

"_You can. I believe in you," he only knows he's speaking the truth after the words leave his mouth, and the girl smiles._

"_What is your name?"_

"_Geanna. My name is Geanna."_

"I killed the priest. Crucified him on top of the church. Then I took Geanna to Mexico and she learned Portuguese, because she said it was prettier than Spanish. She started drawing, and she got married to a blond vampire named Tiago."

They hold hands and Raphael feels that Luke knows exactly what he's thinking.

_Some days I wonder if I did the right thing._

_Some days I'm not sure._


	16. Chapter 16

I had this chapter and the 17th one already written except they really weren't working so I went and wrote this instead. I don't really have an excuse, I just felt like this was the way the story had to go to move forward. So enjoy and sorry for any feels (I got tears on my eyes while writing this, just a warning).

Also, thank you for your reviews, they really make my day :)

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Raphael finds it funny how nobody ever asks how he escaped from Renna's clutches. His story is known, and it has received many reactions. People (vampires) have bowed to him for surviving it. But nobody ever asked how he got away.

Angel and Gabby never had to; they already knew. But all the others, his friends, they never asked. He wonders if it's because they honestly believe he one day just found a hole in the wall and escaped or if they think the memories hurt too much and prefer not to make him go back there. They do hurt and he hates it, but he hates even more that people think him a hero.

He isn't a hero. He doesn't even believe in heroes; all that there is, are men who try to make the best of a bad situation.

These are the lies: he escaped by himself. He's the same as he was fifty years ago. He doesn't wake up with nightmares. He never wishes for death. (True death, the one that would take him away forever and make him free.)

He thinks that the biggest reason he has survived this long is because of the what if? What if there's really a Hell? Then again, he has already been there.

This is the truth: while Renna was torturing him for killing her husband she was already looking for a new one. Of course she didn't just want anyone; she wanted a powerful man and most importantly, one that enjoyed hurting others as much as she did.

Lucky for Raphael she choose Lazar, the vampire chief of Russia, or the ex-Soviet Union, since vampires never changed their borders, who is a fucking bastard in some ways, but would never torture someone for his pleasure. Well, unless he had done something do deserve it.

(Who chooses who gets to live and who gets to die? Leo deserved to die for what he did to his family and to countless others, but what if he, Leo, had been tortured as a kid and that was the only way he knew how to live? It would still be wrong, but not as much, right? Raphael killed several young women while under Renna's… hospitality. He was forced, but he still killed them. Does he deserve punishment for it or as the Council so helpfully put it, "you have already suffered enough"?)

He spent five years with Lazar in Russia training. To not surrender to the blood thirst, to fight and, more importantly, to forgive himself.

Raphael fought with every weapon he put his hands on; and fell to them every time. Still, nothing hurt as much as those cold nights alone. Because those were horrible but he knows that the girls he killed would have given everything to be there. To be alive.

(It's not fair! He didn't deserve to live! They didn't deserve to die!)

In 1962 he went back to Mexico and married Gabby. There should be a "fell in love" somewhere around there, but there isn't. Unfortunately he only realized it too late.

He gets divorced and in 1975 gets remarried. In 1988 he's offered the position of second in command of New York's vampire call and he takes it. In 1995 he gets divorced for a second time.

There are a lot of commas and exclamations marks and question marks around but never a stop.

Nobody ever asks how he escaped Renna. They never ask why he killed Leo. They never asked how he managed to stay alive. Not in those months, but after them.

Raphael killed Leo because one night, more than a hundred years ago, he came to his house and put him alongside his sister, Maria, of sixteen, his brother, Diego, of twenty, and their parents, Ana and José, in their basement.

He raped and killed his sister and mother and then tortured his father while he and Diego watched. Then he asked who wanted to go with him.

Raphael told him to go to hell and next thing he knows he's waking up in a coffin.

He doesn't know how long he stayed there, he only knows that it was long enough that he noticed that he didn't need air anymore and that all on his mind was blood. He came close to drinking his own.

He broke free, killed a couple of tourists and went after Leo. Raphael killed him because Leo never really thought he could lose so he never tried very hard to win.

Gabby was with Renna when they found him and that was the only reason he went to prison and wasn't immediately killed.

That's why he killed Leo, but nobody ever asked. Not even Angel.

He likes to think that they're doing it for him; they don't want him to revive the past. It's not that.

They don't ask because they're afraid of the answer. They don't ask because they don't want to see the broken man behind. They don't ask because they don't want to know. He knows it because he does it too.

After almost a week of being tortured by Renna she brought him a girl. Brown hair and eyes, brown skin, white dress. _Maria. _It wasn't her name, he knows it, but it's all he could think. It's all he can think. It took three days for him to kill her.

He thought that after that there was nothing more she could do to hurt him. Not psychologically, at least, he was already too broken. He was wrong.

Diego appeared and asked him, "how did you like your gift?"

Then he laughed.

Raphael saw his family dying. He got tortured by his brother. He was forced to kill girls that looked like his sister.

That's the story nobody asks for. Those are the answers people are too afraid to hear.

He keeps them hidden because he's a broken man and if he open up, if he lets the pretense go all that will be left will be cracks. The sort of cracks that there isn't enough glue in the world to make whole again. And even if there was, all collages leave scars.

Raphael never loved Gabby; not in a romantic sense and not enough. He loved Angel but they grew apart. He loves Luke. There are hundreds of words he can put after that sentence but right now those three are enough.

Raphael is running through New York because two hours before a plane arrived from Mexico filled with empty coffins. Well, they are empty now and every person that should have had contact with them is dead.

He has found five vampires. Five young girls with brown hair and eyes, brown skin and white dresses. He killed them all because seeing them every day would hurt even more.

Fifteen arrived; he has to find ten more.

Every vampire in his clan is looking.

Every man (and woman) has their story. It's neither good nor bad; it just is.

(That's a lie.)

Raphael doesn't have ten vampires to find, not really. He has nine, because one is looking for him. In reality they are all looking for him; their mission is to kill him, but they're only following orders.

(Men following orders are the worse. They're the ones burning the world and the worse part? They don't care. Or maybe it's the best part, because they _are_ burning the world, and doesn't it deserve? No, it's not the _world _that deserves burning. It's the beings in it. Vampires, werewolves, humans, shadow hunters… there are too many for him to name and they all deserve death.)

Raphael kills two more vampires and is told that four more have been found and put down (like dogs).

Three to go.

His phone rings. He picks it up.

"Raphael," it's Luke and Raphael stops in midair. All he has done this night has been taking lives and remembering memories best left buried and a single voice brings him back to the world. He smiles and it's not happy, but it's something. "Are you there?"

"Yes, what is it?" He doesn't sound cold, at least he doesn't think so, but he just knows that whatever will leave Luke's mouth won't be happy news.

"I have two vampires here that are looking for you. Well, that's an understatement. They… they want to kill you."

The smile leaves his face.

"Ah, are you there? I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with them."

_Kill them. _That's what Raphael wants to say but he won't because this isn't Luke's job. This is his.

"Where are they?"

"Being held by Bat and Mickey in the Hunter's Moon."

"I'll be there in five," Raphael doesn't wait for an answer. He turns the phone off and gets going.

Raphael is… a vampire. That's the best way to describe him, he thinks. He's not some idealized version of one; he's just a man who lost half of who he was to Hell, a figurative and a literal one. He needs blood to survive and he's able to love.

Tonight he has killed seven girls that looked like his sister and were transformed by his brother. They probably never asked why; never will know why. Raphael likes to pretend every man is free and has their own story. It's a lie.

Luke has two girls that want him dead and don't even know why. Raphael will kill them because being reminded every day of the sister he lost would cost more than killing them. Really, when did he become so fucked up?

He reaches the Hunter's Moon before he can arrive to an answer.

Luke smiles to him but it quickly leave his mouth. Raphael wonders if it's his face of the blood on his clothes.

"I'm guessing these girls aren't the first ones trying to kill you tonight, ahm?" A woman asks and Raphael thinks she's Cam, but it's hard to concentrate on her face. It's like he's seeing through a mist.

"No, they aren't."

"You're not killing them here. Take them with you," a man behind the counter says and he has his arms crossed. Raphael thinks he's Pete, the owner of the pub.

He nods and gets his phone because he can't control two vampires by himself and he's afraid that if he leaves with them he'll let them go. It would be stupid because then he would have to chase them once again.

"Please, don't," one of the girls says and uh, she has black hair.

"What's your name?" He asks and thinks _stupid _because he shouldn't involve himself.

"Catarina. We didn't want to do this, but he told us that if we didn't kill you he would kill us. We didn't want this," she says and there are tears on her eyes.

The other girl, who has red locks on her brown hair, nods and tears are also leaving his eyes.

Raphael shouldn't answer, he should call Camille or Angel or Geanna or anyone else, really.

He doesn't. Instead he puts his head on his hands. There are murmurs going around him and he feels a hand on his arm (_Luke_) but he doesn't look up.

Only when he has passed his hand through his hair several times does he look up.

"Let them go," he says to the werewolves and surprisingly, they do it.

One of them, Catarina, nods to him and murmurs "thank you." Then they leave.

"They were trying to kill you and you let them live. That was nice of you," the woman he believes to be Cam says and there's wonder in her voice. Raphael doesn't stop to wonder on that.

"I've just killed seven girls and four more have died," his head hurts. "And now I have to find the fucker who made them, who also happens to be my brother."

"What?" There's shock in Luke's eyes but Raphael just shakes his head.

He passes his hand through his eyes, "I have to go. I'll call you later." He gives a quick peck on the lips to Luke because he needs it.

He doesn't wait for his reaction; he just leaves and flies out.

Angel is the one that finds the last girl and she calls him before killing her. The vampires that killed the rest didn't do it and Raphael wonders if Angel knows that he wants to tell her to let her free. She probably does; she never asked for his story because she believed in making new ones.

"I'm coming," he tells her and he shouldn't, except why does the girl have to die? Her only problem is that she looks like a dead girl, killed before her time.

The other girls reminded him of his sister in an abstract way. This one makes him believe he has been wrong all this years and Maria actually survived.

"Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," the girl repeats it like a mantra and Raphael knows that he won't kill her.

"What's your name?"

"Maria." She has brown hair and eyes, brown skin and a white dress, even though right now it's becoming more green than anything.

The thing he misses most about being human is the faith he used to have in God and angels. Because if he still had it he would be laughing, because it's impossible that there isn't some greater force out there mocking him.

"I am going to give you two choices. You can go and be free; make your own path or you can come with us. We'll teach you how to be a vampire and train you to control the blood lust."

There's shock in Angel's eyes but she gives him a smile and Raphael is reminded of why he fell in love with her in the first place.

"_I deserve to die," it's the first thing he tells her when they meet._

_She gives him a sad smile and Raphael thinks that Angel really is her appropriate name. (It wasn't how she gain it, he learns later.)_

_She's a bit taller than him, but that's probably because of the high heels. She has black hair and brown eyes and is wearing too much makeup in his opinion._

"_Why?"_

_He doesn't answer right away because the only other person, who he told this to, was Gabby and she simply laughed and told him "no, you don't."_

_Angel makes him question it. Does he really deserve to die or does he just want it?_

"_Because I'm a bad man. I've done terrible things," he finally settles on but it sounds hollow even to his own ears._

_Still, Angel doesn't laugh, just nods._

"_I've done terrible things too. Do you think I deserve to die?"_

"_No!" He speaks before he can really process her question. Even if he had a hundred years to think on it, he would never say yes._

"_Why?"_

_Again, he doesn't answer right away. "Because you're beautiful" and "you could never do something that terrible" are things that appear in his mind but he keeps them quiet because they're not the right answer._

"_I don't know," he finally answers._

_She nods like that's the right answer._

"_I don't know why you think you deserve to die either. So how about this, why don't you stay for a while? This way I can remind you that you don't deserve to die and you can do the same for me."_

_Raphael has just gotten divorced so the first thing on his mind after she finishes should not be "I'm going to marry this woman". It is and it basically becomes his mantra for two years._

"I'll go with you," Maria says and Raphael nods. He takes a step forward and Maria takes one back and in a way that's the best response she could have given him.

_She's not Maria. She's not going to come running to your arms. She's not your sister._

It's not a sad thought, it's just the truth and Raphael misses the time when the truth was knowing that his mother was there for him no matter what.

"I'll take her," Angel says and Raphael nods to her.

They both leave the old building and Raphael stands there alone.

Raphael Santiago was born on March the third in 1883, in Oaxaca, Mexico.

That's when his story starts and the most amazing part is that he has no idea when it will end. It could be tomorrow when he leaves to fight Renna (he will fight her tomorrow, there is no more waiting) or it could be the moment he leaves this building and finds a vampire waiting to fight him.

He leaves the building and really, Christian God may not exist but there obviously is one because Diego is waiting for him, reclined against the wall with a cigarette on his fingers. Whoever that God is, he's really bored.

Diego looks the same as the last time Raphael saw him, around fifty years before.

His dark hair is caught in a ponytail, he has several piercings and earrings and is dressed as a rock star, with a leather jacket, ripped jeans and army boots.

There once was a time when people told his mother that he and Diego looked exactly alike.

"Did you like my presents?" Diego has a smile on his face but it's cruel and Raphael is thankful for it because whenever Diego appears the first memory that comes to his mind is when their father taught Diego to walk and he fell down and the only person he allowed to pick him up was Raphael.

There's nothing left of his little brother on that smile.

Raphael doesn't answer his question; he doesn't really think Diego expects one. Instead, he asks, "why?"

It was the first question he asked all those years ago when Diego first appeared on his cell.

"_You abandoned me. You were my family and you just left. Renna took care of me."_

That was his answer back then and even when Raphael told him the truth, of how he had been forced away, had been in prison, Diego never tried to set him free.

"I felt like it," is the answer he now gives with a shrug of his shoulders.

Raphael thinks back on Maria, not his sister but the girl Angel has just taken away. That girl has lost everything because Diego "felt like changing her".

He attacks him.

Diego laughs while he defends himself, throwing him against the floor.

They're fighting in vampire speed and most of the time Raphael has no idea who's winning and who's losing until he has a knife pressed to his brother's neck.

"What? You're going to kill me?" He arches an eyebrow, "your little brother?"

"No," Raphael lowers the blade. "Not my brother."

Then he stabs him in the heart, "just the fucker in front of me."

Diego's last expression is one of surprise and bewilderment and he seems to be saying something but is choking on his own blood. A couple more seconds and he's dead.

Raphael never killed him all the other times he appeared because he kept imagining their parents. But their parents are dead, alongside his sister, 18 girls he killed forced by blood lust and 13 because his brother got bored.

He should feel bad, Raphael thinks. Instead he cleans the blade on his brother shirt and leaves.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Raphael's wedding with Gabby was a happy one. She didn't wear white (that was for virgins and vampire women rarely played at being one) and he used a black suit that was too tight. Still all he has of that moment are happy memories. He remembers his friends' jokes at his expense, the women sighs and he and Gabby cutting their wedding cake.

People say that your wedding day is the happiest of your life and that's only true for Raphael because his wedding day (well, more like night, but in this case it counts for both things) was the happiest one in his entire relationship with the other vampire.

When they got divorced it was, like he told Luke, "fine". A bit awkward at the beginning but it wasn't like whenever they saw each other they tried to hide and could at least have civilized conversations.

Then Raphael married Angel and things changed.

The thing that all vampires agree, and some of the other races as well, is that the last thing you want is a woman with a grudge, especially an immortal one.

When he learnt that he was being cast off his birthplace he tried to reason with Gabby, but she was in the true sense of the word, heartbroken.

"_We got divorced years ago-"_

"_Two years! Two years ago, Raphael! Was that long enough for you to forget me?"_

"_Gabby…" he sighed. "You know that our marriage had been broken way earlier."_

"_So, that's it?" She asked with a glint of hope in her eyes that he didn't understand. "You're just using Angelica to get back on your feet?"_

"_No," he answered immediately. He wasn't going to lie about his love for the other woman just because Gabby was upset. "I love her."_

_There was a scream from Gabby's mouth and then she was hitting him. Now, this wasn't one of those romantic scenes in the movies where the woman is angry and she hits the man in the chest and then he hugs her to calm her down. No, this was a real hit. Gabby kicked him to the other side of the room._

"_Then if you love her you can stay with her forever! You are from here on forbidden from ever again putting feet on my land. If you do it you will be killed."_

"_Gabby-"_

"_No! You don't get to call me that anymore. It's Gabriela."_

After that it all went down. Gabby and Angel had always had some sort of truce, ever since Gabby had become chief almost four hundred years before. Now, it all came crumpling down.

They schemed behind the other's back and soon the only way to know what was happening in the other's land was by sending spies.

It even came to a violent end three years after his marriage to Angel. It wasn't a grand war but lives were still lost. Unfortunately, when it came to war, vampires were as stupid as humans, so none of the women tried reconciliation. Instead, they blamed each other for the lives each had lost.

"What are you thinking?"

"Hm?" Raphael looks up from where he's sitting on one of the three benches that survived his rage a couple of days earlier to find Luke giving him a shy smile from the doorstep.

"You look pensive."

"Oh. I was just thinking about how things were different years ago. Gabby and Angel, they weren't always at war. They were never friends but there was a time when they were at peace."

"And then you married Angel," Luke blushes when Raphael looks at him. "I mean-"

"I get what you mean. Yes, things did spiral out of control after I married Angel. I always hoped that they could come to an understanding, especially after we got divorced, but it never happened."

"And after tonight?"

"It'll depend on who survives. Not to mention that this goes beyond me and Renna. There are vampires fighting on both sides and as much as we may want to say it, we don't know which side is the right one. This is a war; there isn't even one."

"That's your opinion of war? Everyone is wrong? It's a very… pacifist notion."

Raphael laughs. "No, it's a common sense one. You, as a Shadow hunter that has lost probably more than one friend to fighting should know."

"Shadow hunters aren't humans. They fight to make the world a better place, to keep it safe from demons."

Raphael didn't comment on the fact that he didn't use "we" anymore. "Don't be naïve, Luke. Let's not pretend that there has never been a bad Shadow hunter. Half the demons they kill are only half demons."

"You mean vampires, werewolves and all the others."

"Of course," Raphael got up. "You know, Lazar and his vampires will come from Russia in half an hour and I honestly can't say that they'll accept to fight alongside Shadow hunters."

"They won't have problem fighting with werewolves?"

"Oh no, they'll love that. But Shadow hunters… you know what you need to win a war?"

"Believing in what you fight for?"

Raphael laughed, "for humans maybe, but most of us fights for fun. No, you need trust in the people standing beside you. You need to know that they'll try to do everything they can to make sure you survive and likewise, you'll do it for them."

"So you're saying they're not sure the Shadow hunters will do that for them?"

"No, I'm saying I'm not sure the Russians will do that for the Shadow hunters."

.

"_How many vampires should I bring with me?" Lazar is speaking English with him, knowing that Raphael can barely understand a sentence in Russian. Still, the other man has such an accent that there are words Raphael can't for the life of him understand._

"_We don't know how many are fighting with Gabby. There are her vampires and there have been rumors that the Council stands beside her."_

"_And on your side?"_

_Raphael wants to say that it isn't his side but that would be falling on deaf ears, not to mention that in the end it is his side._

"_Camille's vampires, Angel's and…"_

"_Da?"_

"_There's a pack of werewolves that's willing to fight with us alongside some Shadow hunters."_

_There's a pause on the other side. "The werewolves I understand due to your involvement with their alpha," there's no judgment on Lazar's voice, "but the Shadow hunters I do not understand."_

"_They're Luke's friends. And I guess they want to make a change."_

"_I don't like it."_

_Raphael doesn't try to defend the Shadow hunters. Lazar has his reasons and the truth is that many of his vampires aren't sure about fighting with them, as well._

"_So, all in all there will be a couple of thousand on each side just by counting Gabby's and Angel's. The Council will probably take another thousand, then I will take with me two or three hundred. Da?"_

"_Thank you, Lazar."_

_Lazar laughs. "Don't thank me, boy. You know they would fight for a bottle of vodka."_

_Raphael hums in response. They're silent for some seconds._

_Lazar is five thousand years old and he's Raphael's godfather (basically the vampire that takes care of you when your true maker can't or won't) which means that it's never Raphael ending their calls._

"_Have you decided what you will do with Renna?"_

"_I will get her and after some months torturing then maybe I'll kill her," his voice is cold and it doesn't shake. He isn't saying this because he thinks it's what Lazar wants because it is what he feels and it's what he'll do._

"_I'll bring Alma, then," Lazar says and disconnects the call._

.

Raphael is standing beside Camille, Geanna and Luke on the courtyard of the Institute alongside his pack, Magnus and the shadow hunters (there was a fight between Jocelyn and Clary but in the end it was decided Clary would stay behind with Simon). Angel had already left alongside her vampires and was waiting for them on Alamos while his (well, Camille's) vampires were floating above them waiting for the portal to be opened.

"This is you last time of backing off. Nobody is asking for you to come so don't feel forced to it," Raphael repeats the same thing he had said the night before when Luke had told him his pack's idea.

"We know. We just want to," the woman he is now sure is Cam answers.

Raphael nods. He won't repeat himself a third time.

"Let's rock n' roll," Geanna says beside him with a cold smirk and suddenly there are two knifes on her hands.

"Remember me to never get on her bad side," a werewolf murmurs a couple of rows in front of them but still they hear and Raphael sees Camille putting a hand in front of her face to hide her smile while Geanna's just grow.

Magnus opens the portal and Raphael is the first to go through alongside Luke.

They're on an empty field and he sees more than a thousand vampires already waiting.

Five minutes later and all the ones coming from New York are there.

He tries not to smirk at the way the werewolves and Shadow hunters seem to get smaller (even that know it all Jace) at all the vampires around them but it's a close thing.

"Where are the Russians?" Screams a vampire (well, he assumes it's a vampire) from the middle of the mob and there are screams of encouragement all around which only end almost three minutes later.

"They're coming," says a moody warlock who Raphael believes is called Martino.

(It was decided that it would be a different warlock opening a portal to the Russians so that Magnus wouldn't get too tired to fight even if, as he had said, he was "the fucking high warlock of Brooklyn!")

The portal is opened and okay, Lazar was lying, because there's no way there are only a couple hundred of vampires. When Martino finally closes the portal their group has the addition of almost a thousand vampires.

"Only two or three hundred, ahm?" He asks Lazar with a raised eyebrow when the older vampire finally arrives.

"When they knew that the Council would fight there was no way to keep them home."

There's noise all around and still he can hear the nervous heartbreak on the werewolves and Shadow hunters. But that's probably because they are the only heartbreaks he can hear.

"So, you're gonna fight with us?" Alma asks one of the werewolves, a man of about twenty-five.

"Yes," the werewolf answers and the rest of his pack seem ready to transform any moment and (or try) to kill Alma if she tries any funny business.

"Well, thank God! I don't remember the last time I got to save some furry ass!" She answers and the vampires around her that listen to her response laugh.

The werewolves seem to get a bit annoyed but they drop it which is good because maybe the pack would be able to kill Alma, but a lot of them would die in the attempt.

She looks like a model, with blond hair and dark eyes but she wears dark makeup as well as clothes and Raphael is sure that she has more weapons on her body than Geanna, which is saying something, since he knows as a fact that Geanna has at least ten knifes hidden.

"I'm starting to think that us being here won't make any difference," Cam says but she doesn't sound angry. She sounds, well, amused at the vampires' antics.

"Don't tell me my dear godson promised you a great battle-" Lazar starts.

"I haven't been in a great battle in almost a millennium!" Screams a vampire a couple of steps away from Lazar, but quickly walks away the moment Lazar glares at him.

"Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," oh, that vampire better run, "this isn't going to be a great battle. There will be some deaths but the Council will quickly make their escape the moment they see our forces, and if not," he gives an ugly smile and Raphael is remembered that just because he's old (like really really old) doesn't mean he's some grandpa, "they'll do it when they see me."

"Yeah!" The vampires all around start screaming and Raphael has no idea how they can hear him from a thousand feet away, but still, it happens.

Again, the screaming lasts for a couple of minutes and when it finally stops Angel is a couple of feet above them.

"I was going to say some inspiring words to give you strength, but I don't think you need them. So, VAMOS A MATARLOS!"

All the vampires (and some of the werewolves, Raphael notes) scream with her but this time they don't stop, instead starting running (and flying, in some cases).

He takes Luke on his back while some vampires do the same to the rest of the mortals in their company (even if most of them complain) and he has no idea how they know where to stop, doesn't even know where that is and for how long he's been running but suddenly the screams of pleasure become ones of true anger and all he hears around him are the sounds of war.

Raphael has been in some fights, and this is like most of what he remembers: blood and bodies everywhere.

He doesn't see Renna or Gabby, or really any vampire he knows but he isn't really aware. All he's trying to do is to make sure Luke doesn't get hurt and that he kills as many of his enemies as he can.

There's a part of him that condemns war but there's another, a bigger one that screams for blood so he decides to listen to that one.

He doesn't know for how long they fight but the screaming is decreasing as well as the bodies coming against him.

Suddenly he sees Renna and he's running in vampire speed, jumping from head to head.

She's just like he remembers. Black hair cut to her ears, black eyes and red lips which are parted in an angry smile.

"Raphael," she says but it's as far as she gets for he's suddenly on top of her.

He killed Diego because he deserved, but if there's one thing that he would have never done to his brother was torture him.

Good for him, Renna isn't his sister.

She's older than him but he's a better fighter and quickly he has her under his arms. He calls to two Russian vampires and they hold her while he fights to get to one warlock that will help him put her on magical locks.

He finds Magnus and tries to make his request while killing vampires left and right.

Then he flies to the place he left Renna and Magnus does his magic trick while Raphael and the other two vampires make sure he isn't disturbed.

He sees Lazar fighting with a member of the council, a warlock almost as old as Lazar, but doesn't try to interfere. Even if Lazar dies this is the way he would have wanted it.

The two Russians take Renna (with much grumbling) to a warehouse a couple of blocks away while Raphael keeps fighting, suddenly finding himself face to face with Gabby.

The last time he saw her she had an angry look on her face but she still looked beautiful. Now, she just looks crazy with her clothes ruined, hair everywhere and blood covering half of her body.

She screams at him and then is attacking him. Most of the vampires he fought didn't take more than a minute to kill but Gabby is a good fighter, and like Raphael she is well fuelled with anger.

They fight for some minutes and Raphael starts noticing that they're one of the few still doing it. All around him vampires are running away or just surrounding.

Soon enough there's a circle around them but Raphael tries not to make sense of their faces or screams.

It takes a couple more minutes but soon enough he has a knife pressed to her neck and is gasping for air, even though he doesn't really need it.

"Go ahead. Kill me," Gabby says and her eyes are black.

"No," he shakes his head and takes his knife, but still kicks her in the back of the knees and she falls on the earth, with her hands in front of her.

"You may hate me, but I don't. We were married once, and for the happy times we spent together, I'll let you live." She starts to get up. "That does not, however, mean that if anybody wants the pleasure of killing you, I'll protect you." He looks up. "So, anybody?"

"I'll do it," Angel says. "I never hated you, Gabby," he tells the younger woman who's now on her knees, while she takes the knife from Raphael's hand. "But you should not have killed my daughter, you bitch!"

She hits Gabby with such strength that her head goes off and Raphael jumps a few feet in the air so that it won't land on him.

There's silence around them for a few seconds and then everyone is speaking at the same time.

"You okay?" He looks behind to find Luke standing with a couple of his werewolves.

The older (younger?) man looks tired and there's blood all over him but all in all he looks fine. Alive.

Raphael kisses him, more deeply than he usually does while they're in public. "I will be."

.

"_You know, I'm not really a man of torture. Putting others trough physical pain was never really my thing which is weird consideration who my maker was. That's why I invited them."_

_Raphael looks behind to the group that consists of Damon, Alma, Geanna, Lisbeth and Mar. They're all holding various instruments; bottles of holly water, different symbols of different religions, devices used by dentists and doctors, whips and even an axe._

_He smiles at Renna. "Let's get started."_


End file.
